Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, but she was unhappy until she found wine! Her sister Luna found out and refused to let her drink.
She got drunk every night anyway and then killed her sister. So happy ending.
Twilight: And this is why I stay inside, watching anime...
*Look Away by Neil Patrick Harris plays*
Hey hottie, wanna... Y'know...
Get with it?
Girls, what have we discussed? It's perfectly fine to be eternally alone.
Burn the world, burn the world!
Screw you, Lyra!
*Upbeat music plays*
Spike? Hello, I have some important business to attend to-
And what the *beep* is that?
I was going to Twinkleshine and...
Forget that! Find me that old copy of Fan-fictions and Fandoms!
Get away! This is for my studies, not yours-
Are you studying magic? I didn't think so!
What the-
Spike, take a letter.
Dear Vintage Books, your copy of Fan-fictions and Fandoms was simply blank.
This highly interferes with my studies so I'd like a new copy.
P.S. I have the princess on my side,
my lawyer team is scarier than Disney's.
Letter from the princess...
Oh wait no this is an order, you have been evicted!
This place is super cheap. So yeah, this is perfect!
So, this is hobo central.
Spike: Pretty much.
Sirs, you were mediocre.
Let's just find some place with vacancy...
Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!
Do you have vacancy?
Yep!
How much ya' got?
It'll get us a place to stay!
Now you're new here, right?
How'd you guess?
Cause you didn't know we Apples are scam legends!
Nice going Twilight, we just lost ALL our money.
Chillax...
Release all your feelings...
Give Rainbow your feelings!
Ow... My back...
That felt good!
Anyways, excuse me ma'am, do you have any vacancy?
Vacancy? Yes! We have that!
*Yells*
Great! We need-
No, no, no, you are too ugly!
My Buzzfeed quiz said so!
Buzzfeed?
Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook are my life, like OMJ!
Please shut up.
Oh, my god!
Get the hell out of my house.
I hate the world and everyone in it.
Spike: Look! This place might have vacancy.
Excuse me, miss?
I'm a dude...
OK, so you think you're cool? A bit off-topic...
No... I'm- I'm a male.
Actually the correct term for you, woman, is female.
No! I have a male's... Y'know...
So, do you keep it in a jar?
*Grunt* Forget it...
This place is free, so I guess this is our place now.
Spike: Let's go inside!
Twilight: Ah, now back to anime...
*Beep*
*Various ponies talking over each-other*
Surprise!
Hi there! I'm the chosen one!
The hell are you talking about?
Well ya' see! Celestia drunk is the seventh star!
Brought forth me to this land!
And once I was there-
Via a rainbow explosion Celestia spoke to me,
and told me I was the chosen one!
And prophesied to save the day!
One... Er-um... Day I guess.
And turns out she'd always intended me to be a hero!
Imagine that!
Have you ever met a chosen one? I bet you haven't!
Wait are you drinking that?
That's not fruit punch-
that's AppleJack's toxic waste!
What is going on?
Get out of my room!
I thought I could just stay inside and make out with anime posters but silly me...
The moon's ugly, my book says that's called Schizophrenia.
It's midnight, time to come!
Cum? Seriously Spike?
Not like that!
You're not even that attractive!
Just go to the stupid sun raising!
You almost missed the awesome celebration, idiot.
Nobody misses that!
*Chuckles* Newbie.
Welcome to the Summer Sun Celebration!
You young hooligans!
You all better shut up, this is my celebration.
Shut up!
Mayor: Say! That's MY rope, ya'hear?!
Mayor: What the hell? Where's the princess?
The hell?
Which one of you young hooligans did this, dammit?!
Beats me.
What beats you?
My abusive ex-husband used to!
*The crowd gasps*
*Dramatic music plays*
Surprise, motherfuckers!
T'was I who killed your beloved, sun butt!
Chillax...
*Muffled*
*Sinister laugh*
Foolish ponies! Though I can't expect more from the bronies!
This must be the disaster I was sent to avert!
I can't wait to have the fame, and all the glory-
*Muffled*
Ooh! Birdies! Give me the birdies!
I want- the birdies!
Now... Give me the birds-
I- I- I mean um...
You are the worst fandom in the world,
liking a little girls cartoon!
That's just ridiculous!
You fools... From this moment forth,
My hair - will spin - forever!
*Sinister laugh*
Pinkie: What the hell?! I was promised story arcs!
What do you mean that was the basis for a story arc?!
No! That doesn't count!
I wanted the beginning of actual story arcs!
W-What do you mean there's a beginning?!
Pick up on it later?!
O-Oh, screw you!
No, no.
You don't try and pull "Oh we have the basis for a story arc!" shit with me.
No!
Nuh!
I'm not buying it.