(classical music)
- He looked at her longingly,
as he imagined her exotic mashed potato skin
laying gently against his.
- His skin glistened in the sun like a glazed donut.
The glazed part, not the donut part.
- She didn't know it yet, but the girl of her dreams
had just walked in.
Her eyes were radiant, and he skin glowed
with mozzarella undertones.
- He traced his fingers along her subtle cauliflower skin.
- His body had to color and shape of raw ground beef.
- She was beautiful, elegant,
like a tall, clear glass filled with raw pasta.
- She had brown wiry hair
and skin that could only be described
as the color of the inside of an apple.
The mushy ones, not the cool, crisp ones.
- She was transfixed by the gleam
of her uncooked chicken breast skin.
So raw, so lumpy.
- Her beauty was indescribable,
which means she's white.
- Who would play me in such a rom-com of your life,
she teasingly inquired.
You've have such beautiful olive skin, we crooned.
So you can be a person of color,
or racially ambiguous in the book,
but definitely a white woman in the movie.
(classical music)