NARRATOR (V-O): Previously on Welcome To The H.E.R.D. ...
PURPLE STAR: Now, where was this chapter about--
aha!
"Dethroning 101 -
"All you ever wanted to know about killing monarchs
"but were too afraid to ask."
Slave!
SLAVE THE DRAGON: I'm over here!
PURPLE: Write a letter
to the princess!
SLAVE: "I have received your letter and I must say!
"Good luck, I can't wait to see you try!"
PURPLE: There is a little town on the land called Ponytown full of mercenaries!
POISONED APPLE: Now, lemme introduce y'all to the Apple Assassins.
RAINBOW ASS: You're a very dirty pony.
WEISSWURST: Nun, what can I do for y-ahaha!
Oh meine Güte, whatever happened to your face?
PURPLE: Oh, you mean my mane?
WEISSWURST: Nein, I literally mean your face!
BUTTERFLY BUTT: I absolutely adore dragons.
They're just so intimidating and destructive.
GENERAL WEIRDNESS: Freeze!
I have chosen you to join my army and kill Hot Plot so I can become the new princess.
PURPLE: Wait a minute...
that's my plan!
WEIRDNESS: Stupid purple horsey, everypony wants to kill Hot Plot.
She has brought doom and destruction over Hasbronyia for many milllenia.
I even recruited a few other ponies and I will be the leader of you all.
PURPLE: I am the leader of the whole operation.
The book said, Hot Plot banned her sister Crescent to the moon.
I'm sure she would help me get revenge.
FULL MOON: Remember this day, little ponies.
From this moment forth,
Hasbronyia has a new ruler.
And you will worship her full moon forever!
Muahahaha!
["Welcome To The H.E.R.D. Theme" starts playing]
[song ends]
FULL MOON: Muahahaha!
RAINBOW: Usually I love worshipping butts, but...
Where's she going?
PURPLE: I have to find something to stop Full Moon!
RAINBOW: Well, well, well,
if it ain't the pony who just released a dangerous criminal!
And I thought we had something!
POISONED: Hold it, Rainbow Ass,
y'all think ya have something with everypony.
Now why did y'all release Full Moon, sugarcube?
PURPLE: I don't think the pink weirdo should be the leader of this army.
And she definitely shouldn't be the one who will become the new ruler of Hasbronyia.
So I released Full Moon
hoping she would help me to kill Hot Plot before the pink pony would.
And now I'm looking for a way to keep Full Moon from killing her without me.
But I can't seem to find anything!
WEIRDNESS (O-S): "Dethroning 101 - Chapter 23:
Eliminating Rivals"
PURPLE: How did you find it?
WEIRDNESS: (sings) It's a bestseller!
PURPLE: Oh!
"To defeat whoever stands in your way, you should find out their weaknesses
and use them against them.
However, there is a quicker and a lot easier way.
For that an ancient relic is required.
It is called
the Rainbow Diamond Uranus Spirale"...
RAINBOW: (chuckles) Hehe, Uranus...!
PURPLE: ..."and it can be found in the castle ruins in"...
ALL: ...The Tree Plant Forest!
NARRATOR: That's right,
the Tree Plant Forest!
WEIRDNESS: Whee!
Let's wreck that bitch!
PURPLE: So, none of you has been here before?
WEISSWURST: Naja, we used to gas ze Jewel Ponies here.
RAINBOW: Hey guys,
you wanna hear a joke?
So, Poisoned Apple came up to me...
POISONED: Not that again!
RAINBOW: ...and she said she made some cider for me.
And I said to her: "I made some cider for you, too...
"in my pants!!!"
ALL EXCEPT RAINBOW, BUTTERFLY: (scream)
RAINBOW: Quick, Butterfly Butt!
BUTTERFLY: No, don't save them!
PURPLE: (screams)
POISONED: Hang on, ah'm comin'!
RAINBOW (O-S): That's what she said! (chuckles)
PURPLE: I can't, what should I do?
POISONED: Do Ya'll Wanna Build A Snowman?
PURPLE: What?
POISONED: A-ah mean Let It Go!
PURPLE: Are you crazy?
POISONED: The docs say yeah, but that's 'sides the point.
Y'all're gonna pull me down with ya.
Let go
and ah'll be save.
PURPLE: (screams)
BUTTERFLY: I'm sorry,
I'm not used to carrying a body that fat.
RAINBOW: ...and I said to her: "I made some cider for you, too...
"in my pants!!!" (chuckles)
PURPLE: Yes, I know, Rainbow Ass!
You've told it 15 times already.
BUTTERFLY: Wait!
Oh, you poor dumb little pussy.
RAINBOW: Pussy! (chuckles)
BUTTERFLY: Now, this might hurt for juuust a second.
ALL EXCEPT BUTTERFLY: She's killing it!
PURPLE: Didn't you say, it would only hurt for a second?
BUTTERFLY: And it did.
After that the creature was already dead.
*sings* Kill 'em with kindness. Kill 'em with kindness.
RAINBOW (O-S): It's so dark!
I can't even see my own hoof in front of my face.
PURPLE (O-S): Then take it off my butt!
RAINBOW (O-S): (chuckles)
POISONED: Ah think ah stepped into somethin'.
BUTTERFLY: (screams)
POISONED: It was just a squirrel!
BUTTERFLY (O-S): Oh, in that case...
POISONED: Whoa!
ALL EXCEPT WEIRDNESS: (scream)
WEIRDNESS (O-S): (laughs)
(laughs)
PURPLE: Pink one, what are you doing?
Run!
["Laughing Loose-Cannon" starts playing] WEIRDNESS: Oh girls, don't you see?
[WEIRDNESS:] In case it's not entirely clear,
I sure am quite insane.
PURPLE: Really? A song?
[WEIRDNESS:] It all began when I was young
and damaged in my brain.
WEISSWURST: It's a condition!
[WEIRDNESS:] My childhood was a nightmare,
it traumatized me hard.
But then the army I would join
where I could play my part.
RAINBOW: You got raped?
[WEIRDNESS:] General Weirdness, that's what they call me now,
I fullfilled my duties.
And with all I've seen in the war, those trees aren't more than cuties.
RAINBOW: (chuckles) Doodies! WEIRDNESS: Hahaha!
ALL W/O WEIRDNESS: (gasp)
[WEIRDNESS:] Oh,
I went on to murder,
always took it harder, RAINBOW: (chuckles) Harder!
killed them Jewel Ponies,
orange eating phonies,
also almost Hot Plot,
though I failed, you fear not.
WEIRDNESS: Cause after all Hot Plot has done,
all the lifes she's taken, all the families she's destroyed,
I've made it my last duty in the name of Hasbronyia
to free the land from her by killing her
and spreading the remains of her bloody corpse all over the fucking...
(laughs)
[WEIRDNESS:] ...world!
[song ends]
PURPLE: How are we gonna cross this?
??? (O-S): (cries)
(cries)
PURPLE: Shame on this grown sea serpent crying like a baby.
FABULOUS-SAN: Gome ne, it's just...
I was just sitting here watching yaoi
when all of a sudden I realised that the mustache of my Duke Everlue cosplay somehow got damaged!
I'm a disgrace to every otaku,
nothing but worthless scum!
RAINBOW: Why are there so many pussies in this forest?
POISONED: Y'all ain't worthless scum!
WEISSWURST: Aber of course he isn't!
And he is no disgrace either, finde ich!
Ich meine,
how could he be if he wears a cosplay zis fabulous?
FABULOUS: (sniffs)
I know.
WEISSWURST: Just look at zis carefully crafted wig.
FABULOUS: Oh, I know,
I know!
WEISSWURST: You look so kawaii,
I couldn't have made a better cosplay myself.
FABULOUS: Oh, I didn't make it,
I bought it!
WEISSWURST: So läuft der Hase also?
In zat case you leave me no choice!
FABULOUS: Yaoi!
PURPLE: White pony, what are you...?
*gasps*
FABULOUS: Boyoyoyoyo!
PURPLE: Uh, white one?
What happened with your tail?
WEISSWURST: Ach, ist egal.
Zat serpent really was a disgrace.
Leave ze elimination of misfits to Weisswurst!
RAINBOW: Her name is Weisswurst, by the way.
PURPLE: Look, we can cross now!
PURPLE: Here it is.
We've almost made it to the Rainbow Diamond Uranus Spiral!
Aah!
RAINBOW: Looks like this Rainbow Diamond just saved Uranus Spiral... (chuckles)
Lemme fix the bridge for you guys.
??? (O-S): Rainbow...!
RAINBOW: Who's there?
I'm warning you,
I got a pumpgun...
in my pants! (chuckle)
??? (O-S): Rainbow,
we are not here to threaten you.
RAINBOW: You sure?
Cause, heh,
I'm totally ready to shoot!
??? (O-S): Rainbow, please...
would you like to talk a bit about our dear saviour
Full Moon?
RAINBOW: Say what?
???: We are the sacred priests of the Moonism church in Cloudtown,
children of the night.
My name is Night Child,
these are brother Holy Foaly and brother Dreamworks.
Maybe you would like to hear more about us?
RAINBOW: Yeah sure, I'm open for new stuff,
lemme just get my friends.
NIGHT CHILD: No!
Not these sinful sun lovers!
Now?
RAINBOW: I'm in...
-to mares.
So I gotta say no.
My mane isn't rainbow-colored for nothing, you know!
RAINBOW: (thinks) Mh, dat ass!
PURPLE: Careful, careful...!
WEIRDNESS: One of them must be the Spiral,
but how do we know which one?
PURPLE: Maybe, if I...
POISONED: Come on, y'all!
This here's gettin' way too complicated for me.
PURPLE: Aah!
The Spiral!
ALL: (talking over each other)
PURPLE: (coughs)
(gasps)
FULL MOON: Muahahaha!
You know,
I just realised,
it's called Uranus Spiral
and I'm all about butts and stuff.
RAINBOW (O-S): Where is that face steak now?
BUTTERFLY (O-S): Maybe hiding her ugly horseface.
WEISSWURST (O-S): It really is beyond any help.
POISONED (O-S): Don'tcha guys think we should maybe, I don't know, run?
PURPLE: (gasp)
WEIRDNESS: What for, Poisoned Apple?
She's probably dead by now.
PURPLE: You think you can stop us that easily?
Poisoned Apple,
who'd rather save her own orange skin instead of helping a friend
despite her amazing strength
is my back-stabbing brawler!
POISONED: (thinks) We ain't no friends!
PURPLE: Butterfly Butt,
who went and killed a horrible creature like it was nothing
in a too violent to show way,
is my merciless creature tamer!
BUTTERFLY: (thinks) Tamer and/or killer.
PURPLE: General Weirdness,
who would burst into a song about her childhood at the worst time possible,
is my maniac loose-cannon!
WEIRDNESS: (thinks) The end is neigh!
PURPLE: Weisswurst,
who would kill anyone who she thinks shouldn't be allowed to live
is my white seductress!
WEISSWURST: (thinks) I also perform on bar mizwas!
PURPLE: And Rainbow Ass,
who can shoot from the distance and apparently make cider in her pants,
however that works,
is my perverted sniper!
RAINBOW: (thinks) Don't ask me what I'm shootin' with! (chuckles)
FULL MOON: But how does any of this explain what's happening right now?
PURPLE: You think you can just destroy the Spiral,
well, you can,
but the Rainbow Diamond Uranus Spiral lives forth through the H.E.R.D.!
H.E.R.D. is the name for our army I came up with,
while we were walking through the forest. RAINBOW: (thinks) Came...! (chuckles)
PURPLE: It stands for Horse Elite of Raging Doom
and I don't care what General Weirdness says,
I am the princess killing leader,
or short...
P.K.L.!
FULL MOON (O-S): Uh! No!
It's the Rainbow Diamond Uranus Spiral!
(screams)
I'm melting! I'm melting!
What a world!
WEISSWURST: Ich glaub es nicht!
My tail grew back for some reason and it makes me wanna twerk!
WEIRDNESS: Your twerking is so beautiful!
Hey, you know what I just realised?
The end is neigh!
Th-th-th-th...
*gasps*
the end is neigh!