RAINBOW ASS: Stampede!
Oh my gosh, the ground is shaking like Buttbutt's body during our weekly sleep-overs!
(chuckles)
I nail her every week-end!
KNOW-IT-ALL (O-S): Everypony knows already!
POISONED APPLE (V-O): Hey...
Poisoned Apple speakin'.
So this here's a pretty weird situation, ain't it?
Well, ah can explain.
Ain't a long story even.
It all began this mornin' at the Annual Apple Appreciation Hours...
["Welcome To The H.E.R.D. Theme" starts playing] PURPLE STAR (V-O): I, Purple Star,
am on a mission to kill Princess Hot Plot, thus taking her place.
Welcome to the Horse Elite of Raging Doom,
or short...
[PURPLE:] Welcome to the--
BUTTERFLY BUTT: Shut up Purps, no one likes you!
RAINBOW: I like her!
In my pants!
(chuckles)
WEISSWURST: Vhite Ponys are superior!
POISONED: What are we doin' here again?
GENERAL WEIRDNESS: The end is neigh!
PURPLE: Come on guys, please?
SLAVE THE DRAGON: Welcome to the what?
[PURPLE:] -- H.E.R.D.!
PURPLE (V-O): Nailed it!
POISONED (V-O): Remember!
Don't do drugs!
RAINBOW (V-O): Yeah,
do me instead!
(chuckles)
PURPLE: Welcome everypony,
to the first Annual Apple Appreciation Hours,
short A.A.A.H.,
where we give a price to everypony who does apple related stuff
in order to thank them for doing apple related stuff.
And now a word from our proud sponsor,
Android!
RAINBOW: Hey guys, if you're getting tired of apples throughout the course of the hour,
lemme tell you,
each of you can get a free banana at my place.
And did I mention, the banana is...
...in my pants!
PURPLE: Ew, gross!
Now...
WEIRDNESS: At the end you'll all be able to sign up for my Horse Elite of Raging Doom!
PURPLE: Wait,
the H.E.R.D. was all my idea!
WEIRDNESS: On second thought,
at the end you'll all be able to sign up for Purple Star's Horse Elite of Raging Doom!
But instead sign up for me!
PURPLE: Nice try, Nessie!
But now we should really get to our sponsor...
BUTTERFLY: Purple Star?
PURPLE: ...Android!
BUTTERFLY: I don't really have anything to say to be honest,
I just wanted to waste your time, is all.
My reason for that, of course,
is because I have nothing better to do
and you do,
so now I'm not bored anymore and you're behind schedule.
It's a win-win situation!
At least for me.
PURPLE: Anypony else?
BANAN APPEAL (O-S): Rainbow's offer sounded really good.
PURPLE: Now, as I was going to say...
F--(beep)!
MAYOR ELECTION FRAUD: (clears throat)
And now a word from our sponsor,
Android!
ANDROID THE TROPHY: ...Apple!
MAYOR: Android the Trophy came all the way from Griffontown,
leaving behind his only brother, Apple the Trophy,
who had gone missing while climbing in the canyons,
to honor him
by donating all the money to us
that otherwise would have been used for the rescue mission.
SLAVE: I love you, Android, make me your...
MAYOR: (coughs)
SLAVE: ...slave.
POISONED: Heyho,
it's-a me,
Poisy!
(neighs)
Hey, can ah get through, please?
Thank-edidodlio!
So,
anypony ever wondered why apples are round?
Hey,
can ah borrow your attention for a moment?
Ah gotta tell those horses two things.
Spike, please cover your ears,
y'all ain't a pony, ya pervert!
Okay,
first...
...the second thing.
Hehehe,
this mirror looks just like me!
Whoo whoo whoo!
(continues whooing) WEIRDNESS: Whoo! The end is neigh! Whoo!
PURPLE: Okay...
Poisoned Apple, we wanted to talk to you anyway!
You're the most apple related stuff doing pony in Ponytown
since Mr. Apple Stuff moved to Manetown.
POISONED: Yeah,
ah'm...
...not gonna sell my apples anymore.
Also, ah'm taking this trophy!
ANDROID: No, wait!
Don't!
Help me!
Help!
I'm being abducted!
Somepony call 911!
PURPLE: Is it just me or did Poisoned Apple seem to be on...
RAINBOW: ...crystal meth?
BUTTERFLY: ...LSD?
WEISS: ...Kokain?
Hey,
vhite drugs are superior.
WEIRDNESS: Oh, I put crack in her apples!
POISONED: (huffs, pants)
PURPLE: She's the only member of the H.E.R.D. who isn't mean or stupid.
I should see if she's alright.
POISONED: (snorts)
PURPLE: Poisoned Apple!
POISONED: Who?!
PURPLE: Why did you quit selling apples,
and more importantly,
why are you still here then?
POISONED: Yeah, ah decided to keep 'em all to mahself.
They're quite addictive, ya know?
RAINBOW: There you are!
POISONED: (yawn)
Ah'm mighty sorry, Rainbow.
For some odd reason, ah just cannot for the likes o' me stop eatin' all our apples.
They're like some kinda drug to me.
RAINBOW: Great, cause I've got something planned that works best when you're stoned.
See that catapult over there?
I'm gonna stand on one end and you just jump on the other
and then I'm gonna do some stuff or something, I guess.
POISONED: Ain't that kinda dangerous?
RAINBOW: That's why I'm using protection! (chuckles)
POISONED: Can't argue with that!
RAINBOW (O-S): Okay, just let me get into my favorite position. (chuckles)
(screams)
WEIRDNESS: I promised Spiked Punch to bake a bunch of marihuana brownies for the A.A.A.H.
POISONED: Aaah!
Oh, the A.A.A.H.
Ah can help ya with that.
PURPLE: Did Rainbow hurt herself again?
HELLO NURSE: We don't know, she still hasn't come down since the catapult incident.
PURPLE: What's wrong with the ponies?
WEIRDNESS: Not ponies.
Brownies!
SLAVE: Huh, I've always thought it's pronounced "bronies".
PURPLE: Poisoned Apple, I haven't seen you change personality all day.
I'm really concerned about you, you know?
POISONED: That's because ah'm too stressed out for that kinda thing right now.
PURPLE: But it was such a big thing to you.
RAINBOW (O-S): That's what she saaaaiiiiid...
PURPLE: Listen, "Dethroning 101" has a chapter called "Addictions And Exploitations".
Very helpful, obviously, I mean, it's a bestseller!
And in there it says that...
POISONED: Fine!
If ya'll want me to change personality,
Ah'm gonna change personality right now!
PURPLE: But it's not like I like you or anything!
We're just friends.
CAPTAIN DONKEY: I ship it.
BUTTERFLY: You know,
I actually like your new persona.
You should keep it.
POISONED: I totally hate Purple Star!
BUTTERFLY: By the way,
General Weirdness and I found it really funny
what the crack in your apples did to you,
so we hid some more.
POISONED: So that's what's been going on.
Man, do I hate Purple Star.
BUTTERFLY: Yep, and guess where we put the new load.
If you find it, you get to keep it.
POISONED: Well, good thing I just got myself a drug sniffing dog.
Right, Coke Rider?
COKE RIDER: (barks)
POISONED: The drugs must be in the bunnies.
COKE: (barks)
(growls)
(chomps)
(barks)
BUTTERFLY: I think she got one.
Quick!
Before the coke gets soiled.
POISONED: Not on my watch, it doesn't.
Now let's round up the others.
COKE: (barks)
(growls)
(barks)
PURPLE: Yo Poisoned Apple...
Y'alright?
Oh, hum.
You're alive.
I heard Butterfly Butt laughing her butterfly butt off,
so I figured, something bad must've happened.
Turns out you've been trampled half-dead by a bunch of bunnies.
I wish I had seen that. It sounds hilarious!
Bla bla bla... (continues to bla]
POISONED: Help me with mah addiction.
PURPLE: ...and I said oatmeal, are you crazy...what?
POISONED: Purple Star please...!
Help me get over mah cocain addiction.
PURPLE: (giggles)
(sighs)
PURPLE (V-O): Okay,
first thing we need to do
is getting rid of all the apples that General Weirdness filled with cocain
and throw them in the trash.
POISONED: Apple juice for everypony!
And ah promise it's entirely drug free.
RAINBOW: Whoo,
after being catapulted through the air for an entire day and all this work,
I'm super pumped for the AAAH.
(chuckles)
SLAVE: Oh,
the A.A.A.H. ended an hour ago.
WEIRDNESS: Oh, we missed the entire thing?
How many ponies did sign up for my army?
SLAVE: Only me.
POISONED & BUTTERFLY: Eew!
SLAVE: So I guess I'm a full-blown part of the team now. RAINBOW: (chuckles) Full-blown!
PURPLE: I should've added some minimum requirements.
RAINBOW: (screams)
Ungh!
PURPLE: The catapult again?
RAINBOW: The catapult again.
PURPLE: Get rid of it.
RAINBOW: Nope.