WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.650 --> 00:00:10.950 align:start position:0% [Music] last time on sonic underground bobby's boyfriend sagan the hedgehog went on a summer camp vacation while there bobby put all his skills to the test as well as overcoming some past trauma of his own but now affair has been captured by the enemy will anyone come to his rescue or is he [ __ ] line up boys it's time for your weekly meal and no fighting this time or i will punish you ramsey stanton get off that bucket right now trip time isn't for another four hours oh be quiet you i will poop on my own time by the way the bucket's full with my rank [ __ ] now be head tall and go fetch us a clean bucket ah [ __ ] please professor major cord let me go home to my great grandson if you can't find it in your heart to do that then at the very least give us more food i'm getting tired of eating my own poo poo you want some more food lucky for you i am feeling generous turn around and i will go get it for you thank you master you are so kind maybe after this is done i can suck your balls as a show of my gratitude just who do you think is the one in control here fool i make all the rules here and you will take what i give you you're so cruel and to think i was going to suck your balls you should be the one sucking mine you can kill okay pinchy dungeon for me my circle eventually purple week i'm looking for you i'm going to do you're okay and we personally do the [ __ ] using your offers oh i'm not worried about that in fact i am quite prepared i already have a plan motioned for all of your little friends all i have to do is wait for them to trigger the trap in the meantime i'll have some more fun with you get over here spam ton come to daddy you big boy no no no please i can't take it anymore don't let him take me at the fair can't you do something there is nothing i can do to save you ramsay but there is someone else who can a person that is ever greater than i god keep god in your heart just like a major chord is going to keep his balls buried in your butt cheeks there will be no darkness no no no i'm so sorry ramsay but it must be done i do you know there now that the professor is gone i can use my almighty great exit the magic to contact my friends and family for help okay yes but i had no other choice these are dark times we are living robert and with spanton's great sacrifice we just may have a fighting chance now be on the lookout for major chords return this is going to take a lot of power and time for me to accomplish [Music] yes but you need not worry about me robert i must know did my powers work are we saved now look look with you on a there and tell me why you see neutering nothing stopping before returning to the free world no my friend i am afraid that you must stay here beauty because if major cord finds out i am done he will come after us as long as you stay behind you can trick him into thinking i am still here or some [ __ ] is a good thing i hid my magic robes in this pot full of ramses sank of [ __ ] this is goodbye for now my friend and remember if you ever feel like giving up just look towards god i find that he will answer your prayers like three percent of the time [Applause] do you consult there he'll be waiting for you until you're returned god damn it after where are you you [ __ ] it's almost time for the pie tasting competition if we lose again because of this i'm going to stick this apple pie in my ass and make you eat it it's about [ __ ] time you got back after you were gone for nine months i was starting to think that you got kidnapped and sold into slavery in china or something i have something like that fortunately my captor was far too sexy for that to be the case shut up because of you we're already late for the pie tasting competition the other dumb [ __ ] already registered so let's peel ass before it's too late this sucks pie sucks i don't even like pie why do we gotta be here it's the weekend i wanna go home and play with my barbie dolls and have can [ __ ] barbie in her stupid plastic ass sonia the hedgehog how on earth where where did you learn such foul language from you where else from from mindy she says it's cool to say words that will get you grounded i'm sorry am i in trouble am i going to get grounded we'll discuss that later first i want to know where that [ __ ] you're talking about is she's right over there buying a funnel cake to stick inside of her elena it's not worth it you can't join that hill says the association already plastic surgery is i don't care mom has a job to do stand back and hold my cigarettes [Music] hey there hot stuff i wanna order a funnel cake the smallest one you got cause him on a diet sure thing babe what do you want on it we got powdered sugar some jelly the whole works do you have any lettuce ma'am we sell funnel cakes here well damn [ __ ] i was just asking is a funnel cake deep fried obviously stupid well can you not no well then maybe i don't want a final cake how about that okay then leave no thanks i think i'll keep standing right here with my daddy for [ __ ] sake mindy stop being a dumb woman and buy your dad a final cake with caramel sea ripe i didn't burn 2 000 calories this morning to in-rip curls to listen to a woman running her mouth but daddy he was mean to me well he has that right because of your gender you i need to have a word with you what do you want booby face i wanna know what the hell you've been spewing out when you are around my daughter i don't think that's any of your business you [ __ ] no go before i should stop stop italian this isn't worth it no charles let them be mom stop please don't hurt her she's my only friend silly sonia [ __ ] can't be friends they're too busy choking on balls for that welcome ladies and gentlemen to the county fair's annual by tasting competition i hope you all brought your best pies because i am happy to report that this year i got a few extra judges with me it is manic hedgehog and none other than the lover of the richest and sexiest man alive bart levy montclair of dresden's [ __ ] and i'm sure we all know exactly why he offered to be a judge in this competition get it cause he's fat haha hey show my bro some respect he's more than his gay lover's personal [ __ ] no he's not yeah he is he's sonic the hedgehog the blooper the fastest thing alive wait are you saying that bartleby won't be a judge that's the only reason my great-grandfather and i came here someday if the lord above will allow it the great bartleby montclair of dresden will bless me in his ever-growing life by eating a slice of my pie but it would seem today is not that faded day knuckles would you take me home so that i can cry into my pillow and ask jesus why failed to answer my call for like the 16th time this week great grandfather we are not going home yet the winner of the competition is still walking away with 200 i ain't losing that [ __ ] hey why should we care about this stupid competition if butlaby himself isn't going to be here nobody cares about sonic he's just a blue fat guy i'm sorry what is your gender again i'm a woman but i don't see why that exactly you're a woman so either let me touch your boobs or stop talking because that's all women are good for manic are you going to let him speak to me like that i'm your girlfriend hey don't talk to my girlfriend like that what are you going to do about it grasshead fight me perhaps i will no you won't now shut that pie hole before i stuff it with the hairs in my ass crack quit being a wussy baby bro go over there and stand up for your girl i love pie i've loved pie all my life i remember when i was just three years old i asked my mom if i could have pie instead of a cake for my birthday party i know crazy right but it's true aside from having sex with my sister it was the best damn decision i ever made cause when i told my mommy that i didn't want cake she went right down to kmart and bought me a cherry pie instead so i celebrated my birthday in my backyard with all my friends and we ate by together then my dad came home and i was so excited to share my pie with him but he beat my mom because she spent money i was scared so i wanted to call the police but i didn't because my dad was beating up my mom in front of the phone so i couldn't get to it so instead i went to hide in my closet upstairs i took a piece of pie with me and when i tell you that wasn't the best damn slice of pie i ever ate in my life i ain't joking you may think i am but then you'd be [ __ ] the warm gooeyness of it it gave me a sense of warmth and comfort my father never gave to me nobody cares just start along with the contest [Music] [Applause] my boyfriend how could you that guy just shot my sexy boyfriend anyone else i thought not then let's get this judging underway will the first contestant please step forward and present their pie well daddy well mommy i'm getting bored and i feel like winning again this year oh baby what can i say the choice of pie crust is exquisite is the store bought your assessments are correct we only use the best from walmart and it wasn't even marked down or on sale impressive we're gonna have to try to find a way to not be biased on this one haha this is [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] we all know bart levy is going to win just because he rails sonic in the ass like machine gun don't give up just hit knuckles what if jesus gave up we wouldn't even have this opportunity for second place so my lover i i mean mr montclair can you explain to us your inspirations for this lovely boysenberry pie no oh well you sort of have to if you want to be qualified for this competition okay perhaps i do have some baggage that i get to tell you see beach it all happened when i was six years young late in the night i had woken up from slumber [Music] mommy daddy are you still awake i was hoping you would help me make yummy snacks for school tomorrow you see tomorrow is going to be my sixth birthday party and the school said i could bring a snack to share with the rest of the class i wanna bring a scrumptious spy in hopes that i can finally make a friend shut the [ __ ] up boy can't you see mommy and daddy are busy right now but daddy you're not busy you're only fighting again like you always do on the rare chances you are both home so what well can't you at least tell me what it is that you are fighting about take a wild guess [ __ ] your stupid mother went on another spending spree in about half of australia unfortunately she forgot to kill all the locals and now the australians from the resistance group and are fighting back i knew my mom and dad would have to work overtime next week so they can kill them so i had no choice but to go downstairs to make their sweet pie by myself alone [Music] such exceptional talent young master shall i take over while you go preheat the oven that's quite all right alfred i may only be six years old but i have big muscles [Music] that pie smells wonderful young master if i may might i add a sprinkle of powdered sugar on top to give it an extra touch of sweetness [Music] what the [ __ ] is this bottle b did you use my truffles from the bottom drawer in the fridge i told you the drawers of limits this bag of truffles cost me 20 billion dollars there's no need to make such a fusser they are merely truffles and besides the boy clearly didn't even know they were so important quiet butler this is family business you're a butler a battler sir bart levy are you going to let him speak to me like that you are dismissed alfred wait alfred i didn't mean that's quite all right young master your father's right i am merely a butler nothing more i'll go back to the basement and eat my bland oatmeal that you gave me for dinner yeah and make sure you remember to lock it this time so you don't get out [ __ ] you give me that pie now i want it no daddy what are you going to do with that pipe i need it for school tomorrow i'll show you what i'm going to do no father don't do it i beg okay class everybody put your books away because it's time to celebrate bartlebee and cliff's birthday now i want each and every one of you babies to give him a great picture [Music] [Applause] [Music] what's the hold up partly go get that snack out of your shoe cubby to pass around [Music] wow blueberry that's my favorite flavor gimme gimme [Music] [Music] yuck why does it taste like somebody planted their butt crack on this pie i think there's a poop stain on my piece i kind of like it [Music] what is wrong my dear why does your heart ache so nah [ __ ] i'm i'm just so happy that you can finally draw a piece of pie made by me and my own two hands oh god that tastes absolutely horrible what kind of pie is this supposed to be i concur it tastes like my runny [ __ ] after a night out eating nacho bowls at carlos o'kelly's what no it doesn't my son how can this be we use the most expensive ingredients that money can't buy let me have a piece of that the fools are right it does taste like [ __ ] but dad that doesn't make sense the only ones who touched it were and we have the monthly golden touch we weren't the only ones you dumb [ __ ] what do you put in this pie tell me now what do you think i [ __ ] crapped in it that's what you get for always calling me ugly all the time you are ugly [ __ ] whatever the case we must rate the spy as it is no you can't do this [ __ ] tell them to wait i can go make another pie just give me 10 minutes if we break the rules for you then we have to break the rules for everyone and we can't do that i'm sorry sir but it's time for you to go and so it is does everyone have their scores in their hats yep bart levy montclair of dresden and his family's pie earns them a total of 13 points will the next contestant please step up to the plate greetings we call our pie god's thick and sticky love no we don't yo thank you again yakuza for letting me use this empty warehouse to house my captured prisoners shut up you ping pong rice munching [ __ ] i'm pooping right now [Applause] well oh no i heard you the first time i just don't give a [ __ ] i won't let you do this i did not capture that man just so you can't steal him from me my mission is not yet done i need him for leverage against the sonic underground foreign it's full of paper bombs run for your lives kids you tricked me the yakuza really are as fearsome as they say or hmm are you sure that canada is here professor of course and so will be sonic the hedgehog and his siblings there is no way a traditional rural white family would pass up the opportunity to visit the county fair when it comes to town professor i see him he's over there taking part in the pie bake off and i think i see sonic with him too looks like our luck is turning around attaboy little billy now spread out like you are spreading the cheeks we have to track down it there before the akusa lose patience with us eight-year-olds ready her fists we strike immediately and just like that with their tasty apple pie the echidna family earns a total of 19 points immediately putting them in the lead for this year's contest we did it there we might actually stand a chance at winning now now knuckles don't you see it wasn't us we only have god to thank because god is the one who made this all possible when he made her four thousand years ago that's a nice story [ __ ] too bad science would have to disagree with your ass hey can't you see we're in the middle of a competition here get lost shut up we are the ones making demands that's right now we're going to tie you up and take you to professor majorcore's sex dungeon and we don't want to hear any complaints are we clear bro we have to run bro bro hey where are you taking my bro professor major court i found him i found sonic the hedgehog get your stinking hands off of me you little runt let go [Music] [Applause] occupied and i just had a chicken taco so i would highly recommend you go look for another porta potty barley you have to make haste quickly somebody is out here kidnapping your [ __ ] [ __ ] what how do you know this i see it happening right now they're taking him away if you don't hurry you won't ever be able to [ __ ] him again [ __ ] looks like i don't have time to wipe my ass professor it's bartleby oh god no this wasn't a part of the plan kids you know the drill get in wall formation and protect your leader i want to see a wall at least twice as effective as the one at the mexican border that's all boss that won't be so hard at long last major chord you finally decide to show your cowardly face and even now you choose to hide in the shadows like a scared baby who's pooped his typey and too ashamed to tell his daddy about it what can i say when you gotta go you gotta go now if you excuse me i'll be leaving with my prize well sorry to say you're not going anywhere for your biggest mistake was being born in the same time period as i now i'm going to ask only once release the boy are you really not going to like what happens next oh really now i'm interested do you plan on harming the lives of v sweet innocent children what's he doing he's just standing there look say [Music] is did you see the signal yes the one with bartleby's hands raised straight up to the sky then it's time this is why i graduated from harvard university i've always dreamed of this day it's funny how history days feel so normal why you are living them go on jeremy release it release the gauntlet of dresden the gauntlet of dresden are you certain just one punch from this thing has the power to flat in a small city or destroy the very fabric of space and time and the omniverse as we know it that's right and that is why only one man can use it barnaby montclair of dresden and he calls for it now tell me rookie are you ballsy enough to deny that man his wishes [Music] tell me what i'm feeling [Music] my body flows [Music] [Music] upside down set me upside down tell me that you're feeling [Music] no it cannot be i was told because of dresden was merely a myth a fairy tale told to children to give them hope if that's what you were told then you were lied to for i know it's real because i use it to destroy my [ __ ] [ __ ] on a nightly basis [ __ ] this i'm out of here i'll get you [ __ ] ahem bart levy we would like you to have this what you're giving me the bake off trophy but i do not understand all i did was save your life and prevent you from being raped of course and ain't that the point of pie to make people happy if you ask me nobody has ever made as many people as happy as you did here today hey i guess you were right maybe i do deserve this trophy more than everyone else who spent the entire tiered last night and this morning baking their fights and yet won't even get a chance to enter them in the contest well why the heck is everyone just standing around for my first declaration is the pie bake off champion free banana cream ties for everybody [Applause] [Music] we fight the unknown on a journey but oh what's waiting i don't know i'm trying not to let go [Music] but it up [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] i will [Music] oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] 00:00:10.950 --> 00:00:13.669 align:start position:0% [Music] last time on sonic underground bobby's boyfriend sagan the hedgehog went on a summer camp vacation while there bobby put all his skills to the test as well as overcoming some past trauma of his own but now affair has been captured by the enemy will anyone come to his rescue or is he [ __ ] line up boys it's time for your weekly meal and no fighting this time or i will punish you ramsey stanton get off that bucket right now trip time isn't for another four hours oh be quiet you i will poop on my own time by the way the bucket's full with my rank [ __ ] now be head tall and go fetch us a clean bucket ah [ __ ] please professor major cord let me go home to my great grandson if you can't find it in your heart to do that then at the very least give us more food i'm getting tired of eating my own poo poo you want some more food lucky for you i am feeling generous turn around and i will go get it for you thank you master you are so kind maybe after this is done i can suck your balls as a show of my gratitude just who do you think is the one in control here fool i make all the rules here and you will take what i give you you're so cruel and to think i was going to suck your balls you should be the one sucking mine you can kill okay pinchy dungeon for me my circle eventually purple week i'm looking for you i'm going to do you're okay and we personally do the [ __ ] using your offers oh i'm not worried about that in fact i am quite prepared i already have a plan motioned for all of your little friends all i have to do is wait for them to trigger the trap in the meantime i'll have some more fun with you get over here spam ton come to daddy you big boy no no no please i can't take it anymore don't let him take me at the fair can't you do something there is nothing i can do to save you ramsay but there is someone else who can a person that is ever greater than i god keep god in your heart just like a major chord is going to keep his balls buried in your butt cheeks there will be no darkness no no no i'm so sorry ramsay but it must be done i do you know there now that the professor is gone i can use my almighty great exit the magic to contact my friends and family for help okay yes but i had no other choice these are dark times we are living robert and with spanton's great sacrifice we just may have a fighting chance now be on the lookout for major chords return this is going to take a lot of power and time for me to accomplish [Music] yes but you need not worry about me robert i must know did my powers work are we saved now look look with you on a there and tell me why you see neutering nothing stopping before returning to the free world no my friend i am afraid that you must stay here beauty because if major cord finds out i am done he will come after us as long as you stay behind you can trick him into thinking i am still here or some [ __ ] is a good thing i hid my magic robes in this pot full of ramses sank of [ __ ] this is goodbye for now my friend and remember if you ever feel like giving up just look towards god i find that he will answer your prayers like three percent of the time [Applause] do you consult there he'll be waiting for you until you're returned god damn it after where are you you [ __ ] it's almost time for the pie tasting competition if we lose again because of this i'm going to stick this apple pie in my ass and make you eat it it's about [ __ ] time you got back after you were gone for nine months i was starting to think that you got kidnapped and sold into slavery in china or something i have something like that fortunately my captor was far too sexy for that to be the case shut up because of you we're already late for the pie tasting competition the other dumb [ __ ] already registered so let's peel ass before it's too late this sucks pie sucks i don't even like pie why do we gotta be here it's the weekend i wanna go home and play with my barbie dolls and have can [ __ ] barbie in her stupid plastic ass sonia the hedgehog how on earth where where did you learn such foul language from you where else from from mindy she says it's cool to say words that will get you grounded i'm sorry am i in trouble am i going to get grounded we'll discuss that later first i want to know where that [ __ ] you're talking about is she's right over there buying a funnel cake to stick inside of her elena it's not worth it you can't join that hill says the association already plastic surgery is i don't care mom has a job to do stand back and hold my cigarettes [Music] hey there hot stuff i wanna order a funnel cake the smallest one you got cause him on a diet sure thing babe what do you want on it we got powdered sugar some jelly the whole works do you have any lettuce ma'am we sell funnel cakes here well damn [ __ ] i was just asking is a funnel cake deep fried obviously stupid well can you not no well then maybe i don't want a final cake how about that okay then leave no thanks i think i'll keep standing right here with my daddy for [ __ ] sake mindy stop being a dumb woman and buy your dad a final cake with caramel sea ripe i didn't burn 2 000 calories this morning to in-rip curls to listen to a woman running her mouth but daddy he was mean to me well he has that right because of your gender you i need to have a word with you what do you want booby face i wanna know what the hell you've been spewing out when you are around my daughter i don't think that's any of your business you [ __ ] no go before i should stop stop italian this isn't worth it no charles let them be mom stop please don't hurt her she's my only friend silly sonia [ __ ] can't be friends they're too busy choking on balls for that welcome ladies and gentlemen to the county fair's annual by tasting competition i hope you all brought your best pies because i am happy to report that this year i got a few extra judges with me it is manic hedgehog and none other than the lover of the richest and sexiest man alive bart levy montclair of dresden's [ __ ] and i'm sure we all know exactly why he offered to be a judge in this competition get it cause he's fat haha hey show my bro some respect he's more than his gay lover's personal [ __ ] no he's not yeah he is he's sonic the hedgehog the blooper the fastest thing alive wait are you saying that bartleby won't be a judge that's the only reason my great-grandfather and i came here someday if the lord above will allow it the great bartleby montclair of dresden will bless me in his ever-growing life by eating a slice of my pie but it would seem today is not that faded day knuckles would you take me home so that i can cry into my pillow and ask jesus why failed to answer my call for like the 16th time this week great grandfather we are not going home yet the winner of the competition is still walking away with 200 i ain't losing that [ __ ] hey why should we care about this stupid competition if butlaby himself isn't going to be here nobody cares about sonic he's just a blue fat guy i'm sorry what is your gender again i'm a woman but i don't see why that exactly you're a woman so either let me touch your boobs or stop talking because that's all women are good for manic are you going to let him speak to me like that i'm your girlfriend hey don't talk to my girlfriend like that what are you going to do about it grasshead fight me perhaps i will no you won't now shut that pie hole before i stuff it with the hairs in my ass crack quit being a wussy baby bro go over there and stand up for your girl i love pie i've loved pie all my life i remember when i was just three years old i asked my mom if i could have pie instead of a cake for my birthday party i know crazy right but it's true aside from having sex with my sister it was the best damn decision i ever made cause when i told my mommy that i didn't want cake she went right down to kmart and bought me a cherry pie instead so i celebrated my birthday in my backyard with all my friends and we ate by together then my dad came home and i was so excited to share my pie with him but he beat my mom because she spent money i was scared so i wanted to call the police but i didn't because my dad was beating up my mom in front of the phone so i couldn't get to it so instead i went to hide in my closet upstairs i took a piece of pie with me and when i tell you that wasn't the best damn slice of pie i ever ate in my life i ain't joking you may think i am but then you'd be [ __ ] the warm gooeyness of it it gave me a sense of warmth and comfort my father never gave to me nobody cares just start along with the contest [Music] [Applause] my boyfriend how could you that guy just shot my sexy boyfriend anyone else i thought not then let's get this judging underway will the first contestant please step forward and present their pie well daddy well mommy i'm getting bored and i feel like winning again this year oh baby what can i say the choice of pie crust is exquisite is the store bought your assessments are correct we only use the best from walmart and it wasn't even marked down or on sale impressive we're gonna have to try to find a way to not be biased on this one haha this is [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] we all know bart levy is going to win just because he rails sonic in the ass like machine gun don't give up just hit knuckles what if jesus gave up we wouldn't even have this opportunity for second place so my lover i i mean mr montclair can you explain to us your inspirations for this lovely boysenberry pie no oh well you sort of have to if you want to be qualified for this competition okay perhaps i do have some baggage that i get to tell you see beach it all happened when i was six years young late in the night i had woken up from slumber [Music] mommy daddy are you still awake i was hoping you would help me make yummy snacks for school tomorrow you see tomorrow is going to be my sixth birthday party and the school said i could bring a snack to share with the rest of the class i wanna bring a scrumptious spy in hopes that i can finally make a friend shut the [ __ ] up boy can't you see mommy and daddy are busy right now but daddy you're not busy you're only fighting again like you always do on the rare chances you are both home so what well can't you at least tell me what it is that you are fighting about take a wild guess [ __ ] your stupid mother went on another spending spree in about half of australia unfortunately she forgot to kill all the locals and now the australians from the resistance group and are fighting back i knew my mom and dad would have to work overtime next week so they can kill them so i had no choice but to go downstairs to make their sweet pie by myself alone [Music] such exceptional talent young master shall i take over while you go preheat the oven that's quite all right alfred i may only be six years old but i have big muscles [Music] that pie smells wonderful young master if i may might i add a sprinkle of powdered sugar on top to give it an extra touch of sweetness [Music] what the [ __ ] is this bottle b did you use my truffles from the bottom drawer in the fridge i told you the drawers of limits this bag of truffles cost me 20 billion dollars there's no need to make such a fusser they are merely truffles and besides the boy clearly didn't even know they were so important quiet butler this is family business you're a butler a battler sir bart levy are you going to let him speak to me like that you are dismissed alfred wait alfred i didn't mean that's quite all right young master your father's right i am merely a butler nothing more i'll go back to the basement and eat my bland oatmeal that you gave me for dinner yeah and make sure you remember to lock it this time so you don't get out [ __ ] you give me that pie now i want it no daddy what are you going to do with that pipe i need it for school tomorrow i'll show you what i'm going to do no father don't do it i beg okay class everybody put your books away because it's time to celebrate bartlebee and cliff's birthday now i want each and every one of you babies to give him a great picture [Music] [Applause] [Music] what's the hold up partly go get that snack out of your shoe cubby to pass around [Music] wow blueberry that's my favorite flavor gimme gimme [Music] [Music] yuck why does it taste like somebody planted their butt crack on this pie i think there's a poop stain on my piece i kind of like it [Music] what is wrong my dear why does your heart ache so nah [ __ ] i'm i'm just so happy that you can finally draw a piece of pie made by me and my own two hands oh god that tastes absolutely horrible what kind of pie is this supposed to be i concur it tastes like my runny [ __ ] after a night out eating nacho bowls at carlos o'kelly's what no it doesn't my son how can this be we use the most expensive ingredients that money can't buy let me have a piece of that the fools are right it does taste like [ __ ] but dad that doesn't make sense the only ones who touched it were and we have the monthly golden touch we weren't the only ones you dumb [ __ ] what do you put in this pie tell me now what do you think i [ __ ] crapped in it that's what you get for always calling me ugly all the time you are ugly [ __ ] whatever the case we must rate the spy as it is no you can't do this [ __ ] tell them to wait i can go make another pie just give me 10 minutes if we break the rules for you then we have to break the rules for everyone and we can't do that i'm sorry sir but it's time for you to go and so it is does everyone have their scores in their hats yep bart levy montclair of dresden and his family's pie earns them a total of 13 points will the next contestant please step up to the plate greetings we call our pie god's thick and sticky love no we don't yo thank you again yakuza for letting me use this empty warehouse to house my captured prisoners shut up you ping pong rice munching [ __ ] i'm pooping right now [Applause] well oh no i heard you the first time i just don't give a [ __ ] i won't let you do this i did not capture that man just so you can't steal him from me my mission is not yet done i need him for leverage against the sonic underground foreign it's full of paper bombs run for your lives kids you tricked me the yakuza really are as fearsome as they say or hmm are you sure that canada is here professor of course and so will be sonic the hedgehog and his siblings there is no way a traditional rural white family would pass up the opportunity to visit the county fair when it comes to town professor i see him he's over there taking part in the pie bake off and i think i see sonic with him too looks like our luck is turning around attaboy little billy now spread out like you are spreading the cheeks we have to track down it there before the akusa lose patience with us eight-year-olds ready her fists we strike immediately and just like that with their tasty apple pie the echidna family earns a total of 19 points immediately putting them in the lead for this year's contest we did it there we might actually stand a chance at winning now now knuckles don't you see it wasn't us we only have god to thank because god is the one who made this all possible when he made her four thousand years ago that's a nice story [ __ ] too bad science would have to disagree with your ass hey can't you see we're in the middle of a competition here get lost shut up we are the ones making demands that's right now we're going to tie you up and take you to professor majorcore's sex dungeon and we don't want to hear any complaints are we clear bro we have to run bro bro hey where are you taking my bro professor major court i found him i found sonic the hedgehog get your stinking hands off of me you little runt let go [Music] [Applause] occupied and i just had a chicken taco so i would highly recommend you go look for another porta potty barley you have to make haste quickly somebody is out here kidnapping your [ __ ] [ __ ] what how do you know this i see it happening right now they're taking him away if you don't hurry you won't ever be able to [ __ ] him again [ __ ] looks like i don't have time to wipe my ass professor it's bartleby oh god no this wasn't a part of the plan kids you know the drill get in wall formation and protect your leader i want to see a wall at least twice as effective as the one at the mexican border that's all boss that won't be so hard at long last major chord you finally decide to show your cowardly face and even now you choose to hide in the shadows like a scared baby who's pooped his typey and too ashamed to tell his daddy about it what can i say when you gotta go you gotta go now if you excuse me i'll be leaving with my prize well sorry to say you're not going anywhere for your biggest mistake was being born in the same time period as i now i'm going to ask only once release the boy are you really not going to like what happens next oh really now i'm interested do you plan on harming the lives of v sweet innocent children what's he doing he's just standing there look say [Music] is did you see the signal yes the one with bartleby's hands raised straight up to the sky then it's time this is why i graduated from harvard university i've always dreamed of this day it's funny how history days feel so normal why you are living them go on jeremy release it release the gauntlet of dresden the gauntlet of dresden are you certain just one punch from this thing has the power to flat in a small city or destroy the very fabric of space and time and the omniverse as we know it that's right and that is why only one man can use it barnaby montclair of dresden and he calls for it now tell me rookie are you ballsy enough to deny that man his wishes [Music] tell me what i'm feeling [Music] my body flows [Music] [Music] upside down set me upside down tell me that you're feeling [Music] no it cannot be i was told because of dresden was merely a myth a fairy tale told to children to give them hope if that's what you were told then you were lied to for i know it's real because i use it to destroy my [ __ ] [ __ ] on a nightly basis [ __ ] this i'm out of here i'll get you [ __ ] ahem bart levy we would like you to have this what you're giving me the bake off trophy but i do not understand all i did was save your life and prevent you from being raped of course and ain't that the point of pie to make people happy if you ask me nobody has ever made as many people as happy as you did here today hey i guess you were right maybe i do deserve this trophy more than everyone else who spent the entire tiered last night and this morning baking their fights and yet won't even get a chance to enter them in the contest well why the heck is everyone just standing around for my first declaration is the pie bake off champion free banana cream ties for everybody [Applause] [Music] we fight the unknown on a journey but oh what's waiting i don't know i'm trying not to let go [Music] but it up [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] i will [Music] oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] 00:00:13.669 --> 00:00:15.669 align:start position:0% 00:00:15.669 --> 00:00:18.390 align:start position:0% 00:00:18.390 --> 00:00:18.400 align:start position:0% 00:00:18.400 --> 00:00:19.349 align:start position:0% 00:00:19.349 --> 00:00:22.390 align:start position:0% 00:00:22.390 --> 00:00:24.550 align:start position:0% 00:00:24.550 --> 00:00:27.269 align:start position:0% 00:00:27.269 --> 00:00:29.669 align:start position:0% 00:00:29.669 --> 00:00:44.549 align:start position:0% 00:00:44.549 --> 00:00:47.029 align:start position:0% 00:00:47.029 --> 00:00:49.510 align:start position:0% 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