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Language: en-GB

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It's time for an update vlog

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I've been holding out on you. I've been waiting

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to do this cuz i thought *gibberish* a year review

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Was in good time for the holidays

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to do... ummmm it's been quite

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the year i don't know if you notice *christian snicker*

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ahhh it's probably been the most insane year of my life

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uhhh literally so many things

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got completely switched up side down

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uhhh lost a lot of friends

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lost alot of uh uh alot of things

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but i'm looking back on 2017 and it doesn't feel

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negative (positive pewds) doesn't feel like a necessarily bad thing

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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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and i will try and explain

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WHY... At around this time last year i made a video saying

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that i was gonna delete my channel at 50 million

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but we're at 58 million now btw thenk u

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bery much *sexy christian giggle*

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i know you're gonna think i'm joking right now

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(stfu you won't do it) but i'm gonna delete my channel

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(sad music) i swear to you at 50 million  subs

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when we hit 50 million

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huge landmark coming up

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HUGE deal.. not.. never

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been done before no one's even close

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I aM dELetING MA ChaNNel... *snicker* so dramatic (yeah pewds stfu you aint doing shit)

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fuc- (swisstian channel)-in asshole

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IM GONNA DELETE MA CHANNEL AT 60 MILLION GUYS

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I PROMISE (WOH LIZARD EYES) IT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO HAPPEN

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ummmm... that was sort of a joke

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but at the same time

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i didn't feel like that was necessarily the case... i really felt like

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i wanted to delete my channel :( uhhhh

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because i was so stuck in between

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all these business side of youtube

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you didnt see

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a fraction of it but

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for me to do youtube every single day... upload daily

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videos.... st.. still be going on trips

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for all these different events... uuhhhh

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going on trip for business stuff... uhhh... having calls

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every single day talking about

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y'know revel mode and things i was working on

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and working on scare pewdiepie being away for

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a month i was sooo burned out

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and i know boohoo me right (it's okay pewds) i put myself in that

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situation but i realize this is not waaahh

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i'm stuck here and this is not what i want

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i just wanna make videos... well ... i ... what the hell..

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happened... i literally went through like

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an actual mental breakdown *sad giggle* (dont be ashamed pewds)

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it just got too much for me and i think i have

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a really strong mental psyche like

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i can handle more shit than

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most people... i feel confident saying that

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but it really got to me at that point and i'm not trying

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around *fake crying* that's not the case

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so when all the stuff happened in february

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when all the stuff about me being

00:02:56.665 --> 00:02:59.725
nazi came out... some things of it were awful

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the fact that scare pewdiepie season 2 got cancelled

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just sucked... i dont... and

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in retrospect... it doesn't.. it still doesn't make sense to me

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so many people worked on that show... it's.. it's

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it's really... it's a shame for everyone who are involved

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and i'm really sorry for everyone involved... uhhh...

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but it also got me out of all these things

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that i didn't even enjoy working on at the time

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i was so fed up with it... so

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it was sort of a blessing in disguise... and... and this year in general

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the main thing through out all these bad things happening

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i regained so much support

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from you guys :)

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and it's something i never thought i would get back

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i sort of give up on the idea that my fans

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really gonna have this sense of community again

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and

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you know for all these bad things to trade that

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I would take it... it's just been amazing

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THEN the adpocalypse happened

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OOOOHH BBBOOYYY

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and i vowed to go family friendly

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*snicker snicker* thAt wOrkeD OuT GReAt

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didn't it... to be honest when the adpocalypse happened

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i did get hit really hard... it was the time of panick

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cuz all of a sudden none of your videos are... you're not getting any

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income... with the wall street stuff happening

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My CPM which is my average income thing

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dropped because i was kicked out of

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youtube... eehhh... what is it called

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their special ad program or whatevur

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then i realised hey

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i can literally put one extra mid roll in the video

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and it doesn't make any difference... like i dont actually lose anything

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and uuhh so i started doing that as a way to like

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y'know what F you wall street you're

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not gonna make me go down y'know

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it's not that i need the money... it was more like uuhh

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i wanna show them that this is not gonna affect me in anyway

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incase you're wondering why there's a mid roll there you go

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*cute giggle* umm at the end of the day

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i used to have an office... i used to have a bunch of people working for me

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uuuhhhhhh... but i also realised

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i didnt want that... i used to have like a secretary helping me

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get coffee and like i dont really feel comfortable

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letting other people do stuff for me... it

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really wasn't what i wanted at all... so i just

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panicked... i got super sick

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like the worst sickness of my life and i decided

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that hey i can just record from this place

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it's so much more convenient... i dont have to have

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other people n the other room when i record... this is how

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i started making videos in this room and

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that's how i wanna keep it simple... i would always

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say like oh uh

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youtube is the best because you get just me

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and it's not me and a producer and a writer but had all these people

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helping me do all these

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stuff... and it really felt like i was getting

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against what i

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was so spoken about before

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so i got really sick and then these jake paul stuff

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came out and it was like the best... that was like

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the best thing... that could... that could happen

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because i had something to just make a video of

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right away when i was away

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which is always nice

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and this when i decide i'm gonna grow a beard

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is keemstar tryna roast ma beard... i made a video

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called "tired of trying"

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where i basically talked that i really used to be

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focused on trends

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i used to be very focused on like how well a video did

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and that would take up alot of my mind space... i think

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most youtubers think like that... i realise i dont want

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i wouldn't wanna shape my channel that way... i wanna do

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what i wanna do... i wanna make the kind of videos

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i enjoy making and uh

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that has been my mindset for the past couple months

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and it turned out so much better

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y'know whether it's me

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talking about something that i enjoy like whiskey

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that for me has been really fun... i've been enjoying

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just sharing stuff that i like

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and think you guys have as well and it's been really fun to

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and it's such a better way of making videos

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maybe it doesn't get as many views but it's more fun

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i would rather watch someone talk about

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stuff that they like... than fuckin play a game they dont really

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enjoy... i started doing this

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LWIAY videos where i react to

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your reddit stuff and that was just the best idea ever

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i know it just meme it's not original content

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and *snickers* or whatever but..

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it really came back the

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the sort of community on the chanel

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uhhh seeing your humour and my humour

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sort of collide into different types of memes

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it's so cool and so fun and uhh

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i love it so much... i love that

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i love that we have a community on this chanel... rather than just

00:07:53.105 --> 00:07:54.105
 

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me doing random bullshit playing

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random games

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i'm really proud of that... i'm really proud that

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we are at this point where we are

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really thanks to everyone for posting in these

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started doing you laugh you lose... which was also

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the kind of thing people didn't really like in the beginning... they were like

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you're just looking at other people's clips are you RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON

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(Not so christian pewds)

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I enjoyed it.... i enjoyed making them

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they were fun i love laughing at these stupid

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clips so why shouldn't i make them and i'm really glad i kept doing them

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cuz i think you guys actually really like them too

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... aww man and

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i started streaming cuz i was really into

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pub g? and i dont think... i...  before i was

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so preoccupied with youtube i had literally no other

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interest... it was youtube or nothing

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that was all that was in my head 24/7

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so i allowed myself to enjoy other things and actually

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playing games again on my spare time that's why enjoy streaming so much

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this is the day before

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the slip up

00:09:01.835 --> 00:09:02.835
 

00:09:03.865 --> 00:09:04.865
 

00:09:08.615 --> 00:09:09.825
 

00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:11.380
 

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awkward laugh hahahaha

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gasp

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then the slip up happened and uhhh

00:09:23.505 --> 00:09:24.505
 

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definitely... y'know... once a year

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not even worth... once every ten years

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like twice a year... you fuckin idiot

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uhhh

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this time it was sort of different... i felt

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personally responsible... if elt like y'know

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this is my fault

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i shouldn't even

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i shouldn't even defend this and uhh

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that's what i did i'm ahh i'm really glad

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for all the support i still got eventhough

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i clearly fucked up... i'm glad people accepted my apology

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uhh and i was able to move

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past it... i really started making videos that just

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about stuff that fascinated me like Chris Chan

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and uhh or just talking about memes

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ItS nOt ORiGiNaL cOonTenT.... yes i know

00:10:15.355 --> 00:10:18.355
but... i love talkign about these things

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i love sharing these things and i think it's so much

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more interesting hearing someone talk about they're interested in

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and that's just been my approach

00:10:26.295 --> 00:10:29.125
would i ever make a fuckin star wars review

00:10:29.125 --> 00:10:32.015
2016... HELL NO... but did i really have alot

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thoughts about the movie i wanted to share

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uehehh... YES and that's why i did it... i think it such a

00:10:37.865 --> 00:10:40.525
better approach... and i'm so happy i stuck with it

00:10:40.525 --> 00:10:43.460
so much has changed this year but at the end of the

00:10:43.460 --> 00:10:46.480
year... i am so much happier (awwww)... i'm so glad i'm

00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:48.445
here... finally internet is

00:10:48.445 --> 00:10:51.375
gonna be installed on the 22nd  maybe that has happened

00:10:51.375 --> 00:10:54.135
already... even me just keeping my fukin beard

00:10:54.135 --> 00:10:56.305
cuz this is the kind of thing that everyone in the comments

00:10:56.305 --> 00:10:59.425
will tell you JUST SHAVE JUST SHAVE but i'm like well i like

00:10:59.425 --> 00:11:01.725
the beard... i'm gonna keep it... it's really

00:11:01.725 --> 00:11:04.885
i know it sounds stupid but i really think i

00:11:06.005 --> 00:11:08.985
i'm really proud of myself for gaining alot of confidence

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in my self... uh to resist what other people

00:11:11.955 --> 00:11:15.185
say i should do or how other people

00:11:15.185 --> 00:11:17.785
tell me how to do things. It's so easy to

00:11:17.785 --> 00:11:20.625
listen to the comments. I think everyone does.

00:11:20.955 --> 00:11:21.955
UUUMMMM

00:11:22.435 --> 00:11:23.755
But uhhhh

00:11:25.085 --> 00:11:28.155
I think at the end of the day people will

00:11:28.155 --> 00:11:31.015
appreciate that you are you and not just a product

00:11:31.015 --> 00:11:33.885
of what other people want you to be

00:11:33.885 --> 00:11:36.875
that sounded a lot deeper than I meant it to be

00:11:36.875 --> 00:11:39.865
I'm also just really grateful that I can keep making videos at this point

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You look at anyone else that has been number 1 on youtube

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and it's practically a dead chanel

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They didn't last very long. So for me at this point

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to still be relevant enough that people care

00:11:50.885 --> 00:11:53.945
what I say and what I do and click on my videos

00:11:53.945 --> 00:11:57.045
that really means the world to me because I still very much enjoy

00:11:57.045 --> 00:11:59.845
videos. I get so many "haters" saying

00:11:59.845 --> 00:12:02.825
like "Oh iF I WaS peWdiPie I Wuld Just quiT

00:12:02.825 --> 00:12:05.725
mAkinG viDeoS he AlReadY mADe miLLioNS, WWhAT an IdiOt"

00:12:05.725 --> 00:12:08.755
MAYBE I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT IT, MAYBE I STILL ENJOY IT

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It's like... I really think 2017

00:12:11.885 --> 00:12:13.075
was the year I lost

00:12:14.175 --> 00:12:17.145
uhh a lot of support from youtube

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but it's the year I regained my support from my fans

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and that I will never forget cuz I

00:12:22.755 --> 00:12:25.885
went through so many changes so it felt like

00:12:25.895 --> 00:12:28.915
so many of my fans hated me or whatever

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I'm just so glad that finally we have a community

00:12:31.775 --> 00:12:34.495
and finally again

00:12:34.495 --> 00:12:37.105
and finally uhh i have people that I

00:12:37.105 --> 00:12:38.425
I really feel like there are people that support me

00:12:39.475 --> 00:12:42.165
I really do feel that finally

00:12:42.165 --> 00:12:45.285
That really means alot so thank you... it's been

00:12:45.285 --> 00:12:48.375
despite all the downside it's been an amazing year

00:12:48.375 --> 00:12:51.465
and I'm really proud and happy looking back believe it

00:12:51.465 --> 00:12:54.875
or not... You learn from your mistakes and uhh

00:12:56.065 --> 00:12:59.015
that's just life

00:12:59.075 --> 00:13:01.635
THAT'S LIFE (room reference everybaady) Thank you

00:13:01.635 --> 00:13:04.805
to everyone for uhhh hanging out with me this year

00:13:04.805 --> 00:13:07.875
can't wait fro next one and... uhh

00:13:07.875 --> 00:13:11.115
as alwayss squad fam

00:13:11.505 --> 00:13:14.135
should we do... should we do a brofist (YAAASSSS QUEEEN)

00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:17.560
I'll let it slide this time (Brofist)

00:13:18.740 --> 00:13:20.740
THE BROS GOT YOOUR BACK PEWDS