[Pewdiepie]: Welcome to the first ever Cringemas!
[P]: We're going to have so much fun today.
Oh boy!
[PJ]: Blow it up again!
*all screams* [Mark]: You feeling it?
[P]: Yeah!
*all screams* [P]: What the fuck?
[SONG PLAYING]
♪ Oh Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪
♪ Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪
*mannequin challenge commences*
[P]: Welcome back! *laughs in the background*
[?]: WHAT !
[P]: JACKSEPTICEYE IS HERE!
*all claps and cheers*
[P]: What is your problem? [Jack]: CHARITYYY!
[M]: Thats your problem? *laughs*
[J]: No, no, no- charity's good. He's my problem.
*all cheers and "oh"s*
[PJ]: There we go.
[PJ]: I did it! [M]: You've never done that? [PJ]: Never
[J]: *intensely screams* Oh! Ooh!
[J]: CAN WE GET A BILLION LIKES ON THIS VIDEO?!
*screams of horror and disgust*
[M]: *starts singing* Da- da-da.
[M]: I'm doing an Irish jig!
[PJ]: That was worth 25 dollars.
[M]: Do I get a coal for that?
[P]: I'll donate $25 dollars to see that--never see that again.
[E]: I feel a bit sick.
[J]: That was good.
[J]: *imitating Pewds* How's it going bros? This is Pewdiepie- All I do is copy Filthy Frank.
[P]: NO!
[J]: CAN WE HIT 5 MILLION LIKES ON THIS VIDEO?
[P]: ♪ Do you wanna build a snowman? ♪
*everyone saying yes*
[P]: ♪ C'mon, let's go and play. ♪
[P]: One person wraps the other one.
Alright.
[P]: Three, two, one-- GO!!!
[E]: No! It's broken, it's broken. *laughs*
[P]: Jack is finally treated like the s**t he is.
[P]: They only have the gloves left!
*Random Screaming*
[M]: YAY!
[P]: That is terrifying
[J]: Oh, you lost yer hat! [P]: Ooh! Disqualified!
*All yelling*
[P]: It's cooking time.
[P]: CRINGEMAS DINNER COOKING COMPETITION!
*All woah's*
[P]: What do you guys gonna cook for us today?
[PJ]: A-uh-a wreath of weenies.
[M]: Its a weenie-woo!
[P]: Alright, next--what else are you going to make?
[PJ]: Christmas candle salad.
[P]: That is.. penises..
[P]: Moving onto, um- a banana.
[P]: What do we got? [J]: Dude, we're going to make a turkey cake!
[P]: That's very clever. That's very nice
I can't wait to bite my teeth into that.
[J]: Yeah
[P]: *Chomp Noise*
[P]: Um, I will now try it. [M]: Please, please.
[E]: He took out the almonds- He's just doing the banana.
[PJ]: How was that?
[M]: *British accent* Yes.
[PJ]: Yes?
(offscreen) Aughghgdeehh
[J]: Don't do it man.
[P]: *burps*
[PJ]: Alright. *laughs*
M: *fancy accent* Belching is considered a sign of respect.
[PJ]: Thank you very much!
[M]: I have provided you with spoons...
in the form of these peppers.
[P]: WOW!
[M]: Take a s-pepper
*talking over one another* [M]: Only BARBARIANS would make you eat with a mixing spoon.
[P]: Pardon me, I may not be an expert. So, how would you recommend?--
[M]: Oh, allow me to carve the turkey for you.
[P]: Yeah- Why, yes *please.*
[M]: Ooh, yes!
[P]: Mmmm. *laughing* [E]: Delectable. [M]: Delectable!
[P]: What are- While we wait for Mark to cut that--
[M]: No, no! I'm done.
I'm done.
[P]: Okay, I was trying to help in donations, but okay...
[M]: No, no, no...
Those can wait.
[PJ]: *in fancy accent* Please sample the turkey.
[E]: Did you put any sweets in the back end?
[M]: Yes, I did- If you see inside, they're all sweets.
[P]: What is this?
[J]: We decided to, um, lighten up for you!
We got some powdered sugar for you, just like you asked.
[P]: That's a lot of salt. [E]: It's gonna be horrid.
[P]: Don't like that one.
[J]: Well, yeah- They told us to put mayonnaise on it.
[E]: We- We did a few- (?)
[J?]: Ho- Oh, don't get sick. Don't get sick- Ew.
[PJ]: Felix, did I hear you currently saying your mouth was a little dry? Please allow me to.
My finest bottle of water from the Alps.
[P]: Ohhh!
[M]: I squeezed it out of ice myself.
[PJ]: To wash away this awful, foul taste.
[P]: I mean there's not even a competition.
[P]: The winners are--
[P]: What's your name again?!
[M]: PJplier!
[P]: PJIPLIER EVERYONE! (new ship name, i guess?)
[PJ]: Thanks. [P]: Whoo!
*awkward applause*
[P]: Amazing! Y'know- just-just.. You just..
[P]: This... is garbage. (how rude)
[P]: 3..
[P]: 2..
[P]: 1.
[P]: IT'S WRAPPING TIME!
[P]: One handed wrapping! *claps*
[P]: One handed wrapping, everybody!
[P]: Meanwhile, me and Edgar...
[M]: Just.. hold it tight.
[P]: Look at what Emma Blackery's got!
[P]: That is amazing!
[E]: Thanks so much! :)
[E]: This is actually better than my normal wrapping!
[P]: I take it back.
[P]: I think you need to focus. I'm sorry for distracting you.
[P]: That's clearly not good enough.
[M]: So, you are a fair and impartial judge.
[M]: Who is also extremely handsome might I add.
[P]: Oooh. [E]: Very pretty.
[P]: It looks like the (?) are doing an excellent job over here! ( i couldn't hear it properly)
[E]: Probably the best job of all time.
[M]: Where's the tape...
[P]: Well, well- y'know what they say-
[P]: A handsome man and great judge.
[J]: I'm drooling everywhere.
[P]: Okay, I will be judging on style...
[J]: Irishness.
[P]: Irishne... *laughs*
[J]: And floofy hair.
[P]: THE (?)'s WIN! (still can't hear it sorry)
*all cheers*
[P]: CRINGEMAS PICTIONARY TIME!
[P]: I don't know why I did it like that.
[M]: I'm very good at pictionary.
[J]: Santa Claus coming out a pipe.
[J]: Santa Claus strip teasing.
[J]: NAKED SANTA.
[J]: Sad belly Santa.
[PJ]: Wait- you, uh- wait- you said something a minute ago that sounded like it.
[J]: Strip teasing Santa.
[J]: Pole dancing Santa.
[PJ]: Yes! Pole dancing Santa.
*Jacks awesome Irish dance moves*
[P]: Tur- turn over for me.
*Pewds screams in pain*
[P]: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
(FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT)
[J]: This isn't really in tha spirit of Cringemas or charity. (True)
*Random Pewds screaming*
[J]: That's my Irish dance.
(snazzy music)
[P]: I am the one the one the one that.
[P]: OH, I GOT THE BIGGEST ONES.
[J]: Wax a Christmas tree into part of your body.
[PJ]: Excuse- What?
[Everyone]: What?
[J]: This is the forfeit.
[J]: "Wax a Christmas tree into part of your body."
[P]: This is gonna be painful.
[J]: It's not gonna be *as* painful.
[J]: I've waxed my legs twice by now.
*okay jack* lol gayyyyyyyy
[P]: Well.. Have Pewdiepie ever done it?
[P]: Okay, here we go. This is gonna hurt. I'm sorry by the way.
[P]: I don't wanna hurt you.
[J]: Just do it.
[J]: OHMYGOD OHHHH NOOO!.
[E]: I told you this wasn't gonna happen.
[P]: TWO MORE.
[P]: THREE MORE.
[J]: JESUS CHRIST, DUDE.
[P]: ONE MORE.
[E]: Oh, no! Why did you do that?!
[PJ]: What? It looks good.
[P]: What happened?
[J]: I'm out of here guys.
[J]: See ya later.
[P]: See ya next time.
[P]: Ready?
ThreeTwoOne
[P]: *manly cry*
[P]: Yeah!
[J]: "Allow the group to wrap you up like a present."
[J]: For example- Paper and bow.
[J]: You must keep as much of the wrapping on as possible until the next cracker.
[P]: I hate my life.
[J]: We hate you too.
[J]: *singing* We wish you a merry Christmas-
*everyone joins in* [All]: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS-
[All]: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS-
[All]: AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR-
[PJ]: If I got that on Christmas Day,
[PJ]: I would be very disappointed. *lol not the bros*
[P]: Three, two, one- Crack it up!
[P]: Whoo! Crack it up. [M]: Uh oh. Uh oh.
[PJ]: "Silent Disco Night."
[P]: What does that mean? [PJ]: It means the following....
[PJ]: We want you to perform a one-minute interpretive dance, expressing the meaning of Christmas.
[P]: One minute. [PJ]: No music. Costume required.
[P]: Oh!
[PJ]: Do we have a costume? [P]: We have a costume, everyone!
*all cheering* [M]: ... batteries? (Nope)
[PJ]: Batteries included. [M]: Oh, I know what kind of costume this is.
[PJ]: Can you take this? [P]: Yes. [PJ]: Thank you.
[P]: *in weird voice* Hi, everybody.
[P]: *continuing* Make sure you donate, everybodyyyy
(?)
This has been AMAZING!
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.
Thank you guys!
CRINGEMAS!
CRINGEMAS 2016.
[P]: LETS NEVER DO THIS AGAIN... NEVER.
And we're out!