WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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*NOKIA™ SOUND*

00:00:03.060 --> 00:00:05.060
*PICKS UP NOKIA™ UNIVERSE S7™*

00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:06.580
It's me

00:00:06.740 --> 00:00:07.640
Mr. PewDiePie

00:00:08.440 --> 00:00:09.180
It's Google™

00:00:09.460 --> 00:00:10.080
Google™?

00:00:10.680 --> 00:00:12.300
Google™, you called at last

00:00:12.840 --> 00:00:16.100
Now tell me, tell me about the secret algorithm. You promised..

00:00:16.200 --> 00:00:18.420
Once I hit 50 million

00:00:18.420 --> 00:00:19.560
You would tell me everything

00:00:19.760 --> 00:00:20.940
"I need more power !" - Pewdiepie 2016

00:00:21.460 --> 00:00:23.300
I'm running low. JackSepticEye (Irish Potato Fucker) is catching up

00:00:23.880 --> 00:00:25.160
I'm falling behind, GOOGLE™

00:00:25.520 --> 00:00:27.600
WHAT YOU WANT LILLY SINGH ON TOP (Insert dirty joke here)

00:00:27.840 --> 00:00:28.840
*HOLDS NOKIA™ UNIVERSE S7™ SEXUALLY CLOSE* That's right. I know you don't

00:00:29.320 --> 00:00:32.100
Now that you finally made it to 50 million subs

00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:36.380
You have access to a super secret higher level of Youtube Heroes

00:00:36.800 --> 00:00:38.580
Youtube™ Super Saiyan™ God™ Level Hero™ (all rights reserved to GOOGLE™)

00:00:38.900 --> 00:00:40.820
Youtube™ Super Saiyan™ God™ Level Hero™?

00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:42.960
What is the key information?

00:00:43.300 --> 00:00:44.880
Listen closely to this information

00:00:45.340 --> 00:00:45.840
Ok

00:00:46.180 --> 00:00:46.900
The likes

00:00:47.500 --> 00:00:48.320
They don't do anything (wat)

00:00:49.060 --> 00:00:49.820
It's a dead button (watt)

00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:51.640
It's been a dead button (....)

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all along ( *very manly gasp*)

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The dislikes

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*dramatic Royalty Free music*

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What about the dislikes?

00:01:07.660 --> 00:01:09.680
Don't you see? That's the key

00:01:09.800 --> 00:01:12.440
The more dislikes, The more power (OHMYGAUUUUDDDD)

00:01:12.660 --> 00:01:15.560
How do you think so many shit channels can rise to the top?

00:01:15.820 --> 00:01:16.780
GhostBusters

00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:18.000
Rebecca Black

00:01:18.380 --> 00:01:19.200
JustinBieberVEVO

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Call of Duty: Dead Franchise (press f to pay respect)

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So you're telling me

00:01:22.260 --> 00:01:23.560
If I get more dislikes

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You will become more powerful than you could ever imagine

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*PUTS DOWN NOKIA™ UNIVERSE S7™*

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It will be done

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*PTSD INTENSIFIES*

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*Breaks desk by slamming a NOKIA™*

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AYE YO WHATS FFFFFFFFFUHHHCKING GUUD (seizure starts)

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1 MILLION DISLIKES!!

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CAN WE SMASH IT?

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PPPPLLLLLTTTT

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1 MILLION DISLIKES. OR I'LL DROWN MYSELF.

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*Unnatural cry only comparable to a thousand mating whales*

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(SOMEBODY PHOTOSHOP THIS)

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BAAAAAAHHHH

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1 MILLION DISLIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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*A wild PeedewPee appears carrying it's native instrument*

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*Mating call of a million savages*

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1 million dislikes

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or Romanian dies

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(rest in piss forever in piss)

00:02:02.260 --> 00:02:03.440
Maya you're so cu-(drugs kick in)

00:02:03.440 --> 00:02:05.080
1 MILLION DISLIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my ears omg)

00:02:05.600 --> 00:02:06.100
*sexy moans while dabbing*

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*Proceeds to binge*

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*AHHHHHHH*

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(fell harder than Humpty Dumpty)

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1 MILLION DISLIKES!!!!!!!

00:02:19.640 --> 00:02:21.260
CAN WE GET 1 MILLION DISLIKES? (Yes senpai, now stop asking)

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1 MILLION!

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*Swedish Hardcore Rap* (Best music ever played)

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*They see me rollinnn.... They hatinnnn*

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WE STRIKE AT DAWN!

00:02:36.320 --> 00:02:38.400
1 MILLION DISLIKES!!!

00:02:38.940 --> 00:02:41.100
1 MILLION. No! No! No *regrets decision made*

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*Be careful Pewds*

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ONE...

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1 MILLION DISLIKES !!!!!!!!!!!!

00:03:04.760 --> 00:03:05.840
1 MILLION

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CAN WE GET. 1 MILLION ???

00:03:16.300 --> 00:03:18.740
1 MILLIONNNNN !!!!!!!!

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1 MILLION!!!

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DISLIKES!!

00:03:24.260 --> 00:03:26.560
CAN WE GET 1 MILLION DISLIKES?

00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:28.200
Dislikes

00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:29.440
I like likes

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(alrighty then)

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She likes likes

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Bet she likes leafy too

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1 MILLION

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DON'T LOOK AT ME (we're staring at u actually)

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HHEEEUUGHH

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*sobbing*

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(ayy what's good bro?)

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1 MILLION Dislikes (jump scare lol)

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*fade to black*

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Alright so apparently

00:04:02.940 --> 00:04:04.140
Likes doesn't mean shit

00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:06.060
We've been liking videos

00:04:06.620 --> 00:04:07.280
for nothing

00:04:07.380 --> 00:04:07.960
fantastic (oh the irony is strong here)

00:04:08.340 --> 00:04:09.580
Now it's all about watchtime

00:04:09.820 --> 00:04:11.520
and making you keep watching more videos

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No one really know what's going on on YouTube anymore

00:04:14.300 --> 00:04:17.060
Everyone is just.. testing out different things

00:04:17.260 --> 00:04:19.100
begging for likes. Oh that guy got a lot of..

00:04:19.620 --> 00:04:20.380
a lot of views

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I must beg for likes as well

00:04:22.660 --> 00:04:25.820
Well apparently, likes doesn't even do ANYTHING

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except dislikes. Don't forget to dislike

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What YouTube want is watchtime

00:04:30.420 --> 00:04:31.780
and that you watch more videos

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That's all they really care about so

00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:35.800
Speaking of which, why don't you check out this video

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This is a REALLY great one that I think you will REALLY enjoy watching.

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Cause it's very.. It's practically the same video as this one

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Oh my God

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I'm getting too old for this shit (nah)

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Don't forget to dislike the vide-

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sub to me