Danny!
Danny, get out of there!
Danny, it's not REAL!!
D- [music]
[music] *echo effect* Danny! IT'S NOT REAL! D-
*background* Danny...
*echo effect* Danny, get out of there!
*echo effect* Danny, get out of there.
Danny!
Danny, are you playing with the...
Can you hear me?
[Music]
[Music intensifies]
I might as well... play this myself then I guess.
I guess I have no other choice but
to play this game myself!
It's not~ I don't want to
I guess,
just to show you that it's wrong.
I will do it. >:(
We're gonna play-
oh.
So it's "Tropical Girls VR".
(aka Virtual Reality)
This game was announced
pretty much, very early.
[Uh.. picture Spongebob music with a romantic more tropical twist.]
HO!
[ignored]
WoooOaAaaAAH
How-
My hands!
Wow ಠ_ಠ
*whispers* Thank you.
*whispers* Thank you!
Wow!
Well, hello! What a nice pool-
-it... it really looks like real water there.
This truly feels like the futur-
Can I walk? Oh my god, I can walk, wo- Oh my go-
There's hot babes everywhere!
Of course I can't interact with shit
Don't worry about me ladies I may look
like I'm a table...
*silent* Actually that's perfect... I am a table!
Keep doing what you're doing!
Wow! *laughs*
It looks so shit like honestly...
Wow, you look... you look good there, you look good-
merging with that... with a fucking wall...
Aight, I'm just gonna drown myself...
Yeah this is much better!
This is definitely more interesting!
This is the game that as soon as they
announced VR everyone was like 'oh my god'
I'm going to play porn on the VR it's
gonna be so.. *jump scare* EY! Jesus Christ... That's close... Excuse me..
*change of music* It's day 64
I've been... I've been camping out here
away from the girls.
I hate them, they are disgusting!
Where am I? Oh, I'm here... OK...
I paid, erm... I paid money for that one... That's pretty cool
that's a pretty cool game *sarcasm*
[music]
[music INTENSIFIES]
Ok, so, I... This is kind of weird because
this game, I'm in first person, but you
guys will see me as 3rd person.
I don't know. Let's... Oh my god, this is so strange!
[Bar crowd]
Where am...? Why am I out here?
Oh...
Can I come in please?
Hey!
AAAAAH!!! *pewds transforms - acquires 'hand'*
There we go!
One, uh...
Bro fist, please! *laughs silently*
Oh, there we go..
My hand..
No! Wrong.. Hand movement... What the fuck are you doing?
Calm down! Calm down!! AH! No!
Put it down! ssshhit... I'm not doing anything!
OK, let's just go over here.
Let's change song... [crowd reacts] There we go.
Excuse me, chair?
*euhh* Oh... Oh... Yeah...
Yeah, that goood...
Ooooooh uh...
Can I sm... [NPC hurt sound]
Oh, got him! I got him!
[Fight sounds]
Oh, oh, it's on! Oh, oh, oh! [Fight sounds]
You want some of this? You want some of this, bitch? [Fight sounds]
Yeah! That's right, I fuck you up, I fuck you up!
Cash me ousside, how 'bout that? *laughs ironically*
No... No! He's slapping me! ugh...
ueyug eyug uweh weh (Accurate transcription)
I take you on, everyone, every single last one of... One of you *laughs* A-hey!
Wow, shit, he did a roundhound... house kick!
Wha, I've lost it!
No! I died!
I got to pick myself up...
Ah, shit, I flew everywhere... Fuck, where am I?
Damn it...
Damn it!
[Announcer] The bartender won't serve you down there, maybe next time you should pick yourself up!
Shut the fuck up...
[music]
[It intensifies]
Whoa, that's cool!
This is cool actually.
OK, so I can.. walk... How do I walk forward?
Lantern, calm down.
How do I walk?
YAWH! *laughs*
*clicks buttons*
Whoa, this is creepy guys, this is actually pretty scary
I really feel like I am in a corridor.
[Scary background noises]
This better be... This better be a porn game, Danny!
I swear to god...
[Scary footsteps and breathing]
Can I walk a little slower? *sarcasm*
Some creatures are attract... Oh!
Better, eh... Turn it off then!
God, it's scary, this is scary, I'm scared, I don't like it
hello?
Aight, let's check where we are...
OK... where VEE are [sounds like "VR"]
Oh god, THERE'S SOMETHING BEHIND ME!
Oh, bad!
Oohhh my goodd, this is really scary, I don't like it!
I don't wanna play this!
I don't know what that is, but I'll be going THIS way!
Some creatures will... Shut the fuck up, text...
[Alien sound thing]
OH! *swedish curses* I don't...
All right, uhm...... next game
[MUSIC]
[INTENSIFIED MUSIC]
On second though, I think this game is... Pretty good actually.
Hey, how you doing, what's your name?
Lisa!
Wow, jeez, don't do that. Do not do that, Do NOT do...
How you doin' down there?
Keep doing your thing, you're doing a great job!
Hello, hello. Welcome to...
"Don't tell Marzia Productions"
[MUSIC]
[MORE MUSIC]
OK, next.. next one, Danny lov... Danny loves this one!
[annoying music]
wow, what a good game.
[annoying music]
wow
Oh, I'm going this way.
[Annoying music]
And now I'm going... this way!
Oh, I see!
[Annoying music]
[Music stops]
[Annoying music continues]
[Music stops]
So, you go forward...
Oh, swing your arms!
Oh! Okay, NOW it makes sense!
Holy SHIT I'm fast! Holy fuck I'm good.
[Awkward sounds]
wow
Wow, this is so cool!
Take me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[Music again...]
WHOOOOOOOOO!
That was cool!
Oh my god, I killed a deer... I killed another one.
I feel sick.
[MUSIC!!!]
I found... the best game of all time
by the way, no joke, no joke this time!
No jo- Not this time!
No, no, no! Not this time...
Trump simulator, VR! Let's go.
OK, so I'm Trump, right? Okay, so... Hey! Hey it's Trump!
I believe, I am, de Trump *laughs awkwardly*
I'm so beautiful! [Female voice] Mister Truuump,
[P]: yes. [Female voice] Mister Truump, you're on stage in fiiiiiiive.
[P]: *Trump impression* eh, excuse me? [Female voice] I made a todo list for ya.
[P]: Exc... Ugh! [woman] If you could just get through, that - that would be greaat.
[P]: *Trump impression* It's so good to be Trump, I... This is the worst Trump impression ever.
*Trump impression* But m8, I Iook good, ay you can't say I don't look good.
*Trump impression continues* How good do Iook I Imma Trump
'Scuse me. 'Scuse me.
*deepthroat* ah, ah, ah, oh
Oh my god we got STEAK! The Trump steak!
Oh my, I've always... I've always wanted to have a Trump steak.
I can't reach it!
fuck!
I can't, It's not fair! *Trump honk*
*Actual Trump* China. President. Make. I. wall.
(silence)
(builds to music)
[Music]
[Bar crowd]
[NPC hurt sound, applause]
[NPC hurt sound]
Get my beer!
Yeah!
Get dat POWA!
["Mortal Kombat"]
The drift, Jaegertack, based on DARPA jet-fighter neural systems.
Two pilots mind-melding through
memories with the body of a giant machine
the deeper the bond... the better you fight.
*Mortal Kombat theme*
*sounds of fighting exertion*
fuck you mate, fuck you
*fighting sounds*
That's right, I - I'll fight you both at the same time! *intense fighting*
At the same god damn time! *intense fighting*
I'm KongFuMasta. *intense fighting*
What you want, what you want?
Arghhh.. Ahhhh..
ahhh
А...А.....а.......а....