OW-OWOW-OW-OWOW AOW
(Poods screams in absolute terror)
Some player haters say...
I'm too scared to play games...
And to those people I say...
(shows the finger) "Go play Bear Simulator" (swag)
"...bitch."
(Poods swagging it out)
It's time to take off the Hater Blockers©™
And get into the game
(struggles with headphones)
(Satan walks out, not giving a shit)
Fuck yeah!
Okay, I'm grabbing my guns
(groans inappropriately)
This game is called Arizona Sunshine
It's supposed to be a super scary zombie game
Sounds like a game for lil' girls
(shoots self in the balls) (effectively ensures that he will never have little Pie children)
Let's go!
Okay, look at this! (super swaggity swig swag moves ensue)
[oh wow, Poods]
GOT 'EM!
FUCK YEAH!
[wowowowow]
OH!
Okay, watch this... [the amount of swag in this video astounds me]
Okay, okay.
*Gross moaning noises*
OH WHAT'S UP! Oh, here we go. I'm a little scared. But being scared is only for... (pause) losers...
This is so cool! I am in the desert of Arizona
Oh my god, there's zombies coming. Oh my god, it's coming real fast! What the fuck, NO!
The hell am I sitting on? Rocks? It's very comfy.
You thought you could get ME? You thought you could playa hate? Too bad!
What the fuck is this?! (laughs)
I'm sorry
What up! What's good, bitch. *Lucifer the fallen angel appears near the dining table*
OH! OH! (laughs) This is amazing! Oh god, oh my god!
Helvete! Oh, they got an- (screams indiscernably)
OH JABLAR! Oh!
Yeah, you like this? Yeah, yeah? You like that?
What's that, that's my... THAT'S MY RESCUE!
[I dunno about you man, but if I was stuck in a desert staving off zombies, shooting the rescue is the last thing I'd do... but whatever, you do you man]
Why did I shoot it then? [asking the imp. questions here]
JESUS! OH GOD!
YEAH
WIN, WIN, WIN NO MATTER WHAT.
Get rekt, bitch
Did you see that?
[Aww yis, this is the quality content I am subscribed for]
I'm sorry...
OH YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD PULL A FAST ONE ON ME!
(IT'S OUR QUEEN. SHE'S HERE. SOUND THE DRUMS!)
AW JESUS
OW
I hit my knee (Marzia's still losing her shit)
I'm sorry. -Why would you do that?
I didn't see there... -OH MY GOD I'M DYING
I'm so fucking good at games
EDGAR, WTF
Alright, fine, you know what? Do you wanna check it out?
Yes. -It's your turn.
To be as cool as I am. -I wanna... -I bet you're impressed to have such a cool boyfriend.
Yeah, the farts made it all special [OHMYGOD LMAO]
You saw those? -Yeah. -So, Marzia... -Yeah? -What would you say you're good at? (dramatic montage)
...that woman are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy!
Cars! -Cars? (she laughs) Wow that's, what a weird coincidence, 'cause we're playing an automobile repair game
Yay! -Breaking all the gender stereotypes. -I'll be so good.
You'll be better than I am. -I know my cars... you know? I know my stuff.
Let's do it! -Alright, let's do this. You've never done this before, right? -Nope.
Okay, how's this? -My face is kinda tight, my (laughs)
You got your hand. -OH MY GOD! Oh my god, it's freaking me out. -Yeah.
I don't wanna look at my hand. -I'll be using, I'm your right hand, left hand [make up yo mind Felix]
This is crazy! -Hey!
Oh my God this is (screams, laughs)
and then pull it, yes!
High five!
Oh, it's dark. Are you sure it's not scary?
100%. -OOOOH, ketchup!
Okay, so open the garage. WOOHOO!
Yay, look it's my car. -It's your car, literally.
Ready to pick. What, what did I touch?
Okay, ok, oh. Oil, where does the oil go?
Wait, that's not the oil. That's the oil. -Of course, I knew that. [ofc ya did Felix]
Oh, excuse me, I am a man. This is how you do it. -We did it, we did it. -Okay.
Get off!
Okay, let's open the car. -Do you wanna go inside the car?
Get up! (laughs)
-What is this? -We're going in the car! -No, we're gonna get toxicated
Toxicated? -Is that a word? My face is sweating
You change the board, there you go, which part... -Flowers! (Pewds almost gives up)
Where do I put the flowers? -That's not how you fix cars Marzia! -Beautiful (laughs). -What are you doing?
Beautiful! -How do you keep getting more flowers?
Go get in the car. -Noooo...
Why do you... NOOO, don't slow me down.
(Pewds is shocked) Look what you did!
Oh, the potato. The potato. Okay. The potato. -You didn't get to eat there? I think you can... what are you doing with the potato?
Oh, really?
Hey, hey, take this.
Okay. -Wait, why is it not working? -Like frisbee... NO!
Lots a.. -A potato. -Oh, lots of batteries.
Yeah, we can get another battery. -Yeahhhh. -Really? -Yeahhhh. -That worked?
Uh, now they have to pay I guess? -Okay. -Oh, print.
Throw it to him. -Three, two... -No, on the right... right.
Here.
Alright, you did it! -I wanna play more! -You can't, but wow you did so well, Marzia, -Thank you. -You really have a talent for video games.
And automobiles. -Thank you. Easy. -That's, I am amazed. No, please...
Okay. (she giggles)
What is that? Ooh, almost killed me!