Being sad is funny
logan paul has an exciting announcment
and can pugs be racist?
this and more in Pew News
I'm Gloria Borger
hello everybody it's Gloria Borger
And welcome back to pew *cough*
oh
*drinking noise* oh that's much better
Have I told you about our new merch? You can buy one, check out
link in description
I think you'll like it, tastes great. hahahahaha
now let's get into the first news, guys
Nicole Arbour, the smug face, son of a...
..ball, has returned to YouTube with another one of her
wonderful comedy sketches. Nicole of course
which last year published a very famous
video, dear fat people, where she basically
conveyed the message that
it's your own fault ok you're just being
really lazy and
now she made a video in the same sort of fashion but
about depression, now I don't personally give
my own opinions here on Pew News, I am bias
unbiased, I keep getting it wrong hahahaha
I am completely unbiased but I
Think this is great and I for one can't wait for
the video, dear disabled people, uhh
dear disabled people It's all in your head
hahahahhahaha
look you just have to stand up, I can do it
so can you, it's all in your head
stupid. She uploaded the video saying why
depression is all in your head
Nicole: only one person can get you out of depression, and that is you, it's all in your head
it's all in your head, literally. You idiot it's genetics haha
no. Now we are getting a little bit into YouTube gossip
territory right now, but I feel like I have to
give you enough context because that's very important
so basically right, Nicole Arbour used to date the
bald top 10 guy on YouTube
His name was Matthew Santoro I think and they used to be together
and everyone was like but why is she dating him, he's so ugly
but she has a really ugly character
so it sorta works out but all of a sudden, poof
all of a sudden they broke up and everyone was like: why? and then he made a really
crying video saying; ohh she hit me
and then Nicole replied; well it did not hit her
it's bullsh*t it's not true, I did not
hit her, I did not and then Matthew
made a video a few months later saying I am depressed
and then now Nicole is making fun of depression
because she wants to get back at her ex
that's right, we dig deep here on Pew News haha
No for real Nicole I sorta understand
what she's trying to say, most people go through periods in their
life when they are feeling down and that's not the same as
depression, a lot of people already don't think that depression
is not a real illness with real symptoms so
trivializing it as *inaudible noise* you are just feeling bad
is irresponsible just
flat out short sighted and complete lack of empathy
for other people. Just because something worked for you
doesn't mean it's gonna work for other people, same thing with diet
everyone is different and react differently to
these things, it's just how it is
just cuz you figured out something doesn't mean you have the answer for everyone
pepepepepepeppepepeepppeppepeppwwwwwww
I'm Gloria Borger and the next news is
very interesting, that's right
last week, Drake, famous
Canadian rapper, played Fortnite
and everyone lost their mind it was the greatest thing
it was the greatest thing that has ever happened to the internet
the fact that another human being plays video games
just blew everyone's mind. This
live stream broke a Twitch record and it also came out in a recent
interview that Ninja makes
$500,000 a month playing video games that is
almost as much as I make
*drinking*
*still drinking* *coughs loudly*
whenever there is success in a certain feild
online there is always a swarm of people coming
afterwards, you have the flies to
pies, the cretins to the sweatens
the maggots swarming to the ffff
fff-ine *claps*
*claps* *claps* *claps* *claps*
so Logan Paul of course, the low-life scumbag
renounced that he is going to do a Twitch live stream as well
which is apparently news worthy because he gained 200,000
followers without even live streaming, uh
excuse me, excuse me okay
I have 900,000 followers
and I never stream on Twitch why does no one care
about me :( If this doesn't once and for all prove
the fact that the media is bias towards me
then I don't know what will *sassy tone*
a lot of Twitch streamers had thoughts about this, we had Summit saying that
I don't think people should be upset at all
about Logan Paul on Twitch
The amount of people he bring
over from YouTube can only be a good thing for the site
because there's more people now *inaudible noise* use
your business mind on this one
*LOLing intensifies*
yes, great, now other people are saying
so Logan Paul is gonna start streaming and bring his sh*tty
should I read this in a female voice? *activates female voice*
so Logan Paul is gonna start streaming and bring his sh*tty toxic
idiot fanbase over to Twitch... can't
see that doing anything positive for the community as a whole
lol
they're all kids, they're all kids, they're all kids, it's not important
it doesn't matter, nothing matters, stop, just stop
please, why do you care? It also
shows that Logan Paul is planning to do a Fortnite livestream with
rapper Soulja Boy
Logan: I think you can... I think you can like link between
the system
Soulja Boy: wait is this like *inaudible* play together ASAP
Logan: for sure
why would anyone wanna see that, like
the reason the Drake Fortnite thing was popular was cuz
Ninja is actually really good at Fortnite combined
with a really popular celebrity which in a
sense, I don't wanna give this credit but I'm gonna do it for the sake of
F*ck Logan Paul, it legitimized the
streaming community in a way that hasn't been done before
ahhhh
it hurts to say that. No one's gonna
wanna see these bafoons play, it's so moronic
why does he think he can do the same thing?
my god, is this what we have come to now in
online entertainment, whatever's popular everyone
else is just going to do. Oh shoot that's what I've been doing
for years. Dammit. Ignore the last bit guys, don't worry
about it, just mug, a mug
pewpewpewpew
next news come from
YouTuber convicted of hate crime for making a
nazi joke, just hold on one second
guys
excuse me PewDiePie's laywer
am I going to jail?
no because I am more attractive and more popular?
okay, that makes sense
So what do I do?
Pewds' Lawyer: Just tell everyone that you're really upset about this
uh huh, got it
this is absolutely despicable, why
anyone would make a nazi joke is completely beyond me
especially pug related, that's like the lowest of the low
the fact that it was a joke doesn't matter at all. I don't
understand these people with their terrible senses of humor
disgusting, absolutely disgusting
Count Dankula need to go to jail, and I'm so glad
that this man is put behind bars because now I finally
will feel safe at night knowing that this man
will not make anymore Nazi jokes, disgusting
absolutely despicable, hate crime
hate crime, boo, now I'm boast about
this on social media so everyone can like me and
and think that I'm actually good even though I actually have no
positive qualities about me except shunting
other people even though I'm *weird noise*
The real question here, I know you're thinking
as well, why hasn't the pug gone to jail?
why is the pug allowed to keep spreading
hate crime? absolutely
there is truly no justice in this world
for real though, uhh basically if you haven't seen the video
I don't wanna show it because it's probably just going to
demonotise this video and it probably is already
please buy a mug, but never the less he
basically said uh I want to get back at my girlfriend
while she's away, so I'm going to play a prank on her
so I'm going to teach her to dog to uhh
to be a nazi, which is the ugliest thing I can
think of. That was the pretext of the video, that
is the context, it was clearly set out to be
a joke and anyone who watched the video will understand that
but you can also take what was taken out of
context, which seems to be a
a common theme these days and completely
dismay the fact that it was indeed just a joke
it's supposed to be a joke, you may not find it funny
but that doesn't change the fact of the intent
behind it. Ricky Gervais, British comedian
uhh tweeted out about this saying
A man has been convicted in UK court of making a joke
that deemed ''grossly offensive''.
If you don't believe in a person's right to say things
''grossly offensive'', then you don't believe in Freedom of Speech.
which is so true, basically, if you're curious
why he got convicted even though we do have
Freedom of Speech there are a few exceptions to the law
there's a broad sweep of exception including, threatening, abusive
or insulting words or behavior intending to likely
to cause harassment, alarm or distress
what he was convicted for was
the 127 communications act
which makes a criminal offensive to send online
a grossly offensive or indecent,
obscene or menacing character
there's a lot of people defending this verdict saying
that he deserves to go to jail, ummm
Stewart Perrie from The LAD Bible wrote this,
that's right LAD Bible does news *weird laugh like noise*
It's
Worth noting that those against political
correctness cry that
it's only recently that their jokes are offennsive
they've probably always been hurtful, it's just that
those at the butt of the joke are now standing
up for themselves, food for
thought
*clap*
thank you Stewart Perrie
thank you for showing everyone
what a quintessential morale looks like
you're supposed to be a journalist, although it's from LAD
Bible, you're still supposed to be a journalist. Do you
understand what you're writing? DO you understand anything at all?
What you're saying? or what you wrote?
What the f*ck?!
yes, Count Dankula is not above criticism, anyone has the
right to speak out against him
people have the right to feel whatever way they want about the video
like it, dislike it, it doesn't matter, the point is it's not up to the Government to decide whether
it's a joke or not, it's a really
scary thing for any society that the government has
that power in my opinion
that to me doesn't mean freedom of speech
we have laws to protect from hate crimes
but they shouldn't cover what is meant as jokes
and what clearly isn't set out to be
any form of ill intent and harm and anyone that watched the
video knows that that's the case and
I think it's just the same thing with my original video, yes it was
my video about criticism, absolutely not, but anyone
that watched the video understands that there was no ill
intent behind it, but it's so easy now a days to just take
any clip out of context and say; this
is hateful, this is not a joke. It's a dangerous act
especially now that the government comes into play, that being said
I already have too many things in common with Count
Dankula, so I am now going to
auction away this pug, that's right
he is a despicable pug that will put me *laughs*
into jail, so please, someone take this dog way from me, I do not want him
anymore and I don't want anything to do with
with Count Dankula
*very cute pug yawn*
oh am I boring you?
ppppppppppppp
I am Gloria Borger, and this was Pew News everybody
remember to leave a like
this video is 100% going to
flag for demonotisation, so I'd really appreciate if you checked out the mug
It's... I'm out of drink so I don't even know why
why I tried but thank you and nameste and goodbye
goodnight Americans
people too