Being sad is funny!!
Logan Paul has an exciting announcement!
And can pugs be racist? (Hmmmmmmmmmmmm)
This and more in Pew News. (Best news ever)
I am Gloria Borger.
(Pew sounds)
(Pew News Intro plays)
( pewds in his girl accent) Hello everybody, it's Gloria Borger
Welcome back to poo *cough*
*dies, then sips his Pew News mug*
Ah, that's much better
Have I told you about our new merch?
You can buy one. Check out the link in the description.
I think you'll like it. Tastes great
Now let's get into the first NeE tu yu, guys
Nichole Arbur, the smug-face son of a... ball
Has returned to YouTube with another one of her wonderful comedy sketches
Nichole, of course, which last year, published a very famous video
Dear Fat People, where she basically conveyed the message that i-it's your own fault okay
You're just being really lazy
And now she made a video in the same sort of fashion
But about depression
Now I don't personally give my own opinions here Pew news, I am
Biased... Unbiased. I keep getting it wrong *laughs*( lol)
I am completely unbiased
But I think this is great
And I, for one, can't wait for the video "dear disabled people"
Uh, dear disabled people
It's all in your head
heheheheheehee
Look, you just have to stand up. I can do it
*stands up*
So can you. It's all in your head, stupid
She uploaded the video, saying "why depression is all in your head"
Only one person can get you out of depression, and that person is you
It's all in our head. All in our head
You idiot, it's genetic. Haha nope. ( wow she is pretty stupid)
Now we are getting a little into youtube gossip territory right now
But i feel like i have to give you enough context
Because that's really important
So, basically, right
Nichole Arbor used to date that top 10 guy on youtube
His name was Matthew Santoro I think (it is)
And they used to be together
And everyone was like "why is she dating him. He is so ugly"
But she has a really ugly character ( 10/10 roast)
So it sort of works out
But then, all the sudden *poof* they broke up
Everyone was like "why"
And then he made a really crying video
Saying "oh, she hit me"
And then Nichole replied
"Well, I didn't hit him, that's bullsh*oof*"
It's not true, I did not hit her
I did not (oh hi Mark)
And then Matthew made a video a few months later saying "I am depressed"
Now, Nichole is making fun of depression because she wants to get back on her ex
That's right, we dig deep here on Pew News
*laughs*
No, for real, Nichole..
I sort of understand what she's trying to say
Most people go through periods of life where they are feeling down
And that's not the same as depression
A lot of people already don't think that depression is a real illness with real symptoms
So trivializing it as you're just feeling bad is irresponsible
Just flat out short-sighted
And a complete lack of empathy for other people
Just because something worked for you, doesn't mean it'll work for other people
Same thing with diet. E-Everyone is different, and they react differently to
These things. It's just how it is
And just because you figured it out doesn't mean you have the answer for everyone
*pewd's noises* (but can you do this)
I'm Gloria Borger, and the next news is very interesting
That's right
Last week
Drake, famous Canadian rapper
Played Fortnite (wow)
And everyone lost their mind
It is the greatest thing that has ever happened to the internet
The fact that another human being
Plays video games
Just blew everyones' minds
This livestream broke a twitch record, and came out in a recent interview that
Ninja makes 500,000 a month
Playing video games. That is almost as much as I make
*sips pew news mug for advertisement*
* immature cough*
Whenever there is success in a certain field online
There's always a swarm of people coming in afterwards
you have
The flies to the pies
The creatins to the sweatins
The maggots swarming to the f-f-fine
*claps as he thinks of what to say*
So Logan Paul, of course
the low live scumbag
announced that he is going to do a twitch stream as well, which is apparently news worthy because he gained 200,000 followers
Without even livestreaming
Excuse me, excuse me
I have 900k on twitch, and I never stream on twitch
Why does no one care about me
if This doesnt prove, once and for all, that the media is biased towards me, then nothing will
A lot of twitch streamers have had something to say about this. We have Summit saying that
i dont think that people should be upset at all about Logan Paul on Twitch.
the amount of people he could bring over from Youtube can only be a good thing for the site because theres more people now and a-and
use your buisness mind on this one dudes..
*laughs*
Yes, great.
Other people are saying.
so logan paul is gonna start streaming abd bring his sh*oof* should i read it in a female voice?
so logan paul is gonna start streaming and bring his *oof* toxic idiot fanbase over to twitch
i cant see anything positive for the community as a whole lol
They're all kids, they're all kids, they're all kids
It's not important
It's doesn't matter. Nothing matters
Stop. Just stop. Please.
Why do you care
It also shows that Logan is planning on doing a fortnite livestream with rapper Soulja Boy
I think you can link between systems
Just let me know bro, we can get a place together asap
I'm pretty sure- why would anyone wanna see that
The reason why the drake fortnite thing was popular
Was because Ninja is actually really good at fortnite
Combined with a really popular celebrity
Which, I don't want to give this credit, but I will for the sake of Logan Paul
It legitimized the streaming community in a way that has never been done before
It hurts to say that
No one is gonna want to see these buffoons play
It's so moronic
Why does he think he can do the same thing
My god
Is this what we've come to in online entertainment
Whatever is popular, everyone else is just going to do
Oh shoot, that's what I've been doing for years, dammit
ignore that last bit guys, dont worry about it
*advertises mug* pewpewpewpewpew
Next news comes from Youtuber convicted of hate crime making a nazi joke
Just hold on, one second guys
Excuse me, Pewdiepie's lawyer
Am I going to jail
No, because I am more attractive and more popular?
Okay, that makes sense
So what do I do
Pewd's lawyer: Just tell everyone that you're really upset about this
Uh huh
Got it
This is absolutely despicable
Why anyone would make a nazi joke
Is completely beyond me
Especially pug related, that's the lowest of the low
The fact that it was a joke doesn't matter. At all.
I don't understand these people
With these terrible senses of humor
Disgusting.
Absolutely disgusting.
Count Dankula needs to go to jail.
And I'm so glad that this man is put behind bars because I will finally feel safe at night.
Knowing that this man will not make anymore nazi jokes
Disgusting
Absolutely despicable
Hate crime. Hate crime. Boo
Now I'm going to boast about this on social media so that people can like me and actually think I'm good even though I actually have no
positive qualities about me except shunning other people
even though I'm
The real question here
I know you're thinking as well
Why hasn't the pug gone to jail
Why is the pug allowed to keep spreading hate crime
Absolutely, there is no justice in this world
For real though, if you haven't seen the video- I don't want to show it because it probably just going to
demonetize this video and it probably is already and please buy mug
Nevertheless, he basically said
I want to get back at my gf while she's away
So I'm gonna play a prank on her
So I'm gonna teach her dog
To be a nazi
Which is the ugliest thing I can think of
That was the pretext of the video
That is the context
It was clearly set out to be a joke
And anyone who watched the video can understand that, but you can also take
What was taken out of context, which seems to be
A common theme these days
And dismay completely the fact that it was, indeed, just a joke
It's supposed to be a joke
You may not find it funny
But that doesn't change the fact
Of the intent behind it
Ricky Gervais, British comedian, tweetd out about this saying
a man has been convicted on a UK court of making a joke that was deemed "grossly offensive"
if you dont believe in a person's right to say things that you might find "grossly offensive", then you dont belive in the freedom of speech
Which is so true
If you're curious why he got convicted
Even though we do have freedom of speech
There are a few exceptions to the law
What he was convicted for was the 127 communications act
There's a lot of people defending this verdict
saying that he deserves to go to jail
That's right LAD Bible does news
Thank you, Stewart
Thank you for showing everyone what a quintessential moron looks like
You're supposed to be a journalist
Although it's from LAD Bible, you're still supposed to be a journalist
Do you understand what you're writing
Do you understand anything at all?
What you're saying, or what you wrote
Yes, count dankula is not above criticism
Anyone has the right to speak out against him
People have the right to feel whatever way they want about the video
Like it, dislike it, it doesn't matter
The point is, it's not up to the government to decide whether it's a joke or not
It's a scary thing for any society
That the government have that power, in my opinion
That, to me, doesn't mean freedom of speech
We have laws to protect for hate crimes
But they shouldn't cover what is meant as jokes
And what isn't set out to be any ill intent or harm
Anyone that watched the video
knows that that's the case, and i think that's the case for my original video
Yes, was my video about criticism? Absolutely not
But anyone that watched the video understands
That there was no ill intent behind it
But it's so easy nowadays to take any clip out of context
And say "this is hateful"
It's a dangerous act
Especially now that the government comes into play
That being said, I already have too many things in common with count dankula
I am now going to auction away this pug. That's right
He is a despicable pug
That will put me into jail
So please, someone take this dog away from me
I don't want him anymore, and I don't want anythign to do with Count Dankula
Oh, am I boring you
(Pewds sounds)
I'm Gloria Borger, and this was Pew News everybody, Remember to leave a like
This video is 100 percent going to die from monetization, so make sure to check out the mug
It's.... out of drink so I don't even know why I tried
Thank you, and namaste, and goodbye
Goodnight Americans
And people
See you
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