WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.820
What up you virgins (we are only 9 so that's true). That's right

00:00:03.540 --> 00:00:08.520
It's me. Back at it again with another girlfriend simulator

00:00:08.520 --> 00:00:10.520
to show you guys how it's done

00:00:10.780 --> 00:00:13.660
How you respect wahmen in a way that--

00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:15.670
everyone (gets too lazy to talk about that)

00:00:15.670 --> 00:00:19.400
Okay, let's go everybody. I'm in, okay.

00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:21.480
heyy. oh wow you

00:00:23.300 --> 00:00:25.740
*poods trynna talk chinese*

00:00:25.980 --> 00:00:30.400
Get the darts on the table and aim the darts board to target

00:00:30.900 --> 00:00:34.100
Finally, I have a whamen I can play darts with.

00:00:34.100 --> 00:00:35.820
Hey, excuse me.

00:00:35.860 --> 00:00:37.860
Hey, Hello, Ow

00:00:38.760 --> 00:00:39.380
*super jumps*

00:00:39.380 --> 00:00:40.240
Jesus!

00:00:41.520 --> 00:00:44.160
Oh okay, I can walk wherever I want. I see.

00:00:44.160 --> 00:00:44.660
SURPRISE!

00:00:47.360 --> 00:00:48.200
AHHHH  *nightmares for the 9yos*

00:00:48.340 --> 00:00:49.300
Oh my God. Jesus! *he's scared of his own surprise*

00:00:49.420 --> 00:00:53.220
Excuse me you do that again. Oh my god. Oh my god never again.

00:00:53.220 --> 00:00:55.560
Whoa! Look at the view. We're like super rich and stuff

00:00:56.440 --> 00:01:01.920
Can you be quiet please? I'm trying to figure out the controls. Okay, this is

00:01:03.220 --> 00:01:05.200
SUPER AnNoYIng

00:01:05.220 --> 00:01:10.200
You're watching anime. What are you fckin (family friendly) loser? Hey, listen to me.

00:01:10.200 --> 00:01:12.760
I just realize last video got demonetised. So really why..

00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:14.380
am I doing this?

00:01:14.680 --> 00:01:18.540
No, I'm too tall. I'm too tall for this game. Alright, what if I

00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:22.200
I lost my hand, everybody. My hand is gone forever. (that is so sad rip)

00:01:22.200 --> 00:01:25.940
Can't-- I can't reach-- I can't reach them

00:01:26.060 --> 00:01:29.900
So how do I make myself shorter? I'm too freaking tall!!!

00:01:30.540 --> 00:01:32.220
What is this?

00:01:32.220 --> 00:01:33.400
I can't!

00:01:33.400 --> 00:01:35.400
(that is so sad rip felix height)

00:01:36.680 --> 00:01:38.740
How do I make myself short?

00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:46.000
You be quiet for the love of God. Oh, okay. I got it. What if I squat, and then I reset the height?

00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:51.500
Oh my god, I'm a genius. Alright, then. I reset the height. Now this is my new height. Look, I'm a giant

00:01:51.520 --> 00:01:57.299
I am God amongst the whamen. Fear me tiny one. Oh

00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:03.199
Uhh. Ha ha. I might as well pick these up with my feet ha

00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:08.480
GoD DaMNiT

00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:12.160
Shut it!! oWW

00:02:12.160 --> 00:02:18.860
I can't do it. I'm too tall. I'm too tall for this world *stares*

00:02:19.200 --> 00:02:21.200
Screw-- I'm out. I'm out *dashes away to fridge*

00:02:21.240 --> 00:02:23.899
How tall am I supposed to be?

00:02:24.840 --> 00:02:26.840
Please! *trynna grab the darts*

00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:30.040
I can't physically get any lower

00:02:33.780 --> 00:02:34.980
*the struggle is real*

00:02:37.020 --> 00:02:39.000
Yes! I glitched it.

00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:39.980
YoU'Re GoNNa DiE NoW

00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:40.500
*epic music on*

00:02:40.500 --> 00:02:42.500
*chinese*

00:02:44.260 --> 00:02:45.460
*pewds stab respects* Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa

00:02:45.560 --> 00:02:46.860
Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa

00:02:46.860 --> 00:02:48.860
(rip)

00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:51.060
A'ight, here we go.

00:02:51.920 --> 00:02:53.600
No

00:02:53.600 --> 00:02:55.160
*chinese*

00:02:56.920 --> 00:02:58.920
No

00:02:58.920 --> 00:03:01.120
*struggling to get the precious sharp blades*

00:03:01.140 --> 00:03:03.060
Where it go. Where it go. Catch it.

00:03:03.060 --> 00:03:03.740
No

00:03:03.740 --> 00:03:05.740
*hand moving on its own; this is a horror*

00:03:05.740 --> 00:03:06.600
*felix laughs*

00:03:06.600 --> 00:03:08.550
Shut up

00:03:08.550 --> 00:03:15.680
Got it. Okay. Got it. Now. I gotta beat her.

00:03:16.300 --> 00:03:17.120
OwWWwW

00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:18.800
God, damn it (rip precious sharp blades)

00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:21.020
*chinese*

00:03:21.020 --> 00:03:22.960
*replays felix hittin the wall*

00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:25.480
God damn it.

00:03:25.480 --> 00:03:28.660
Yes. No, do I have it? I think I have it

00:03:30.020 --> 00:03:32.020
Yes, I got it, okay, all right

00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:34.120
now...

00:03:38.900 --> 00:03:41.280
*chinese*

00:03:42.660 --> 00:03:44.080
*moans oof*

00:03:44.080 --> 00:03:46.300
I got zero points. I spent 30 minutes

00:03:46.820 --> 00:03:53.900
Getting zero points. All right. What do you got, show me what you got. A rebate you can't even hit anything.

00:03:54.600 --> 00:03:55.300
You schmu-

00:03:56.100 --> 00:03:59.860
ZeRooO ZErooOo *walmaaart in bg*

00:03:59.960 --> 00:04:02.820
ZEROO!

00:04:02.980 --> 00:04:05.980
You're nothing you worthless

00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.160
ZERO!

00:04:10.420 --> 00:04:11.800
throw it

00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:12.820
YAY *Pew lost empowerment

00:04:13.060 --> 00:04:14.000
F*** u  (felix jealous cause he can't aim)

00:04:14.580 --> 00:04:15.340
*Rage Scream*

00:04:15.900 --> 00:04:16.700
ROAR

00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:18.700
*bums akward to wall

00:04:20.220 --> 00:04:22.220
Whatever. Whatever, I bet you can't

00:04:23.500 --> 00:04:29.940
Hey, honestly, that's-- that was pretty good. Great. I gotta play again. I gotta do it again. I gotta do it again

00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:34.020
I just got to do it again. I just got to do it again. Just got to do it again *depressed*

00:04:34.020 --> 00:04:39.029
You just got to do it again Felix. You just got to do it again. Yeah, yeah

00:04:39.029 --> 00:04:43.980
Yeah, I don't mind doing that it -- what the heck are you T posing about?

00:04:46.080 --> 00:04:47.320
No

00:04:47.980 --> 00:04:52.640
*felix standin like a real whamen respecter that can't shoot a dart*

00:04:53.220 --> 00:04:55.220
*rip*

00:04:55.980 --> 00:04:57.980
*quality sound*

00:04:58.140 --> 00:05:06.000
I have to beat her 3 times. I have to beat her 3 times, I have to-- oh my god, no

00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:13.500
Oh, I'm even taller now. There has to be a way around this. Oh, I honestly feel nothing

00:05:13.500 --> 00:05:17.200
But hate. I can't go below the floor. I just can't

00:05:18.140 --> 00:05:20.860
What if I place my sensors higher up? Would that make a difference.

00:05:20.860 --> 00:05:23.660
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god (yes it did)

00:05:23.670 --> 00:05:25.940
Oh my god, I got it. BAaAHh

00:05:27.740 --> 00:05:30.340
Shut up what it is i--- *rage*

00:05:32.950 --> 00:05:34.950
Are you kidding me?

00:05:34.950 --> 00:05:36.640
*chinese*

00:05:36.640 --> 00:05:40.680
They don't go in. I swear to God I swear to God they don't go

00:05:41.280 --> 00:05:45.440
They don't go where I want them to go. They don't go where I want them to go

00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:51.240
aight

00:05:54.480 --> 00:06:01.580
Yes. That's a real man does it-- that's how a real man does it

00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:06.220
SHaAAaAAAAAa

00:06:09.520 --> 00:06:11.120
aight watch this

00:06:12.740 --> 00:06:13.300
HOW IN THE??

00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:15.800
*chinese*

00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:21.480
All right, I'm bending the rules I don't care I don't care

00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:28.140
ZEROO! (wdym it was a 3!?)

00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:29.400
ZERO-

00:06:29.540 --> 00:06:30.580
*HORROR*

00:06:30.660 --> 00:06:32.600
OH GOD

00:06:33.100 --> 00:06:37.800
Yes, and I won. Fair and square you schmuck. Two more

00:06:38.500 --> 00:06:46.260
(FELIX is now neck on neck with Chinese-chan how will this end??)

00:06:48.180 --> 00:06:49.060
YAY

00:06:50.280 --> 00:06:52.280
ZEROO!!

00:06:54.840 --> 00:06:55.960
Get one more chance

00:06:55.960 --> 00:06:57.960
*Watch pewds making points fare and square

00:06:58.240 --> 00:06:59.140
yep

00:06:59.140 --> 00:07:00.740
*continues fareplay

00:07:00.740 --> 00:07:02.800
I'm just that good. I'm just that--

00:07:11.990 --> 00:07:14.079
I don't care no bye

00:07:16.220 --> 00:07:22.449
Min chila le shut your mouth. Okay, stop crying. There we go. Oh my god. Is that a gun?

00:07:22.730 --> 00:07:25.150
Is that a gun I get to-- haa yes

00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:28.000
Why am I so tiny now?

00:07:28.740 --> 00:07:29.700
noo

00:07:29.700 --> 00:07:32.220
i'm too short *cries; rip felix height again*

00:07:32.360 --> 00:07:34.360
it's not fair

00:07:36.460 --> 00:07:40.500
Okay, all right, I'm tall -- what up

00:07:40.500 --> 00:07:41.840
*metal gear solid alert sound* Oh, that's sorry

00:07:41.840 --> 00:07:44.200
what we're playing a vr game together

00:07:47.440 --> 00:07:48.960
*girl enjoys being threatened*

00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:52.920
Beat her two times. Okay, you're going down

00:07:52.920 --> 00:07:54.920
mei

00:07:55.080 --> 00:07:57.980
*Star wars shooting over her*

00:07:57.980 --> 00:08:01.800
*summoning acient spell

00:08:01.980 --> 00:08:03.800
How is she not dying?

00:08:04.500 --> 00:08:06.500
Begone THOTT (oof that word)

00:08:06.500 --> 00:08:11.400
*more professional gunslinging*

00:08:11.400 --> 00:08:13.160
*LEVEL UP*

00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:16.600
(NOW HES CASTING THE SPELL)

00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:23.920
(NANI!? HE disappeared!?)

00:08:28.360 --> 00:08:30.020
*clicking sounds*

00:08:32.860 --> 00:08:35.900
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

00:08:38.360 --> 00:08:39.660
BAAAAAA!!!!

00:08:39.980 --> 00:08:40.900
DIE!!!

00:08:48.700 --> 00:08:50.700
*silence*

00:08:52.400 --> 00:08:53.680
DIEFA!!! ???

00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:59.280
*violence*

00:09:04.020 --> 00:09:06.020
What's next?

00:09:06.490 --> 00:09:14.130
Are you fking kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I did not lose. I did not even get hit

00:09:15.960 --> 00:09:20.760
Alright she's dead now--she's dead. Where are ya SHOW YOURSELF

00:09:22.580 --> 00:09:23.240
i had enough!

00:09:24.140 --> 00:09:25.280
BAAAAGH!

00:09:25.280 --> 00:09:27.280
*EPIC MUSIC*

00:09:32.540 --> 00:09:34.800
*silence*

00:09:35.040 --> 00:09:37.040
*Le epic scene continues

00:09:37.160 --> 00:09:39.160
YASS yes

00:09:42.100 --> 00:09:42.740
*The PewDiePie rawr*

00:09:43.780 --> 00:09:47.040
*violent eyes*

00:09:47.040 --> 00:09:48.040
hooahhh

00:09:48.040 --> 00:09:54.840
That's right, that's right you ever face me again - i aint gonna shoot ya

00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:55.340
Thot

00:09:56.940 --> 00:09:57.780
finally

00:09:58.620 --> 00:10:00.620
*zooms oof*

00:10:01.820 --> 00:10:03.220
Yaaas

00:10:03.560 --> 00:10:05.560
*Chinese*

00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:11.960
i won

00:10:11.960 --> 00:10:14.560
*chinese*

00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:20.960
there you go

00:10:22.920 --> 00:10:24.920
There you go

00:10:24.920 --> 00:10:26.200
hope you enjoy that

00:10:26.200 --> 00:10:28.200
*more chinese*

00:10:28.880 --> 00:10:30.100
*sits in 399 chair*

00:10:30.100 --> 00:10:31.760
Are we done here?

00:10:31.760 --> 00:10:34.060
*more n more chinese*

00:10:34.060 --> 00:10:35.200
okay good

00:10:45.140 --> 00:10:45.760
ok

00:10:45.800 --> 00:10:47.520
*nonstop chinese*

00:10:47.520 --> 00:10:50.280
please stay away from me and this video being demonetised

00:10:55.540 --> 00:10:56.700
Ah, this is just getting weird

00:10:58.100 --> 00:11:06.840
*rock paper scissors in chinese*

00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:16.900
Please have a seat have a seat. I'm Chris Hansen. Yeah, and I want to ask you some questions. Please have a seat

00:11:17.060 --> 00:11:18.160
i won

00:11:18.160 --> 00:11:19.560
*how to cancel out kisses as a pro*

00:11:19.560 --> 00:11:20.820
*laughs*

00:11:20.820 --> 00:11:23.160
Alright last one then we beat this game

00:11:27.400 --> 00:11:29.080
YaaS

00:11:29.080 --> 00:11:34.199
Help Mei find the red. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

00:11:35.220 --> 00:11:36.680
how

00:11:36.760 --> 00:11:39.920
*all day chinese*

00:11:43.520 --> 00:11:44.800
*chinese chinese*

00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:47.720
I don't know and I don't care

00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:49.380
What if she

00:11:52.400 --> 00:11:53.520
i dont see it

00:11:59.460 --> 00:12:02.560
Are you finding it? Maybe try over there. *laziness*

00:12:02.560 --> 00:12:04.300
does the clock work?

00:12:04.840 --> 00:12:05.720
*realizes he can pull of books* oh i can!! woah

00:12:08.820 --> 00:12:13.480
All right, I'll find it  I'll find it for my queen.

00:12:17.780 --> 00:12:21.720
I will find it. I will find it for my queen

00:12:22.680 --> 00:12:24.280
Where is it?

00:12:24.280 --> 00:12:26.040
*silence*

00:12:26.040 --> 00:12:28.460
I hope I'm not making too much of a mess

00:12:29.420 --> 00:12:30.380
I FOUND IT

00:12:31.380 --> 00:12:33.120
I FOUND ETTTTT

00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:34.060
I CANTT--

00:12:35.180 --> 00:12:36.060
*thuds. AHHH

00:12:39.540 --> 00:12:42.200
It's right there!!!

00:12:42.280 --> 00:12:44.080
I FOUND IT (she cant hear u)

00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:49.460
Grab it, please please, please please please

00:12:49.720 --> 00:12:50.800
PLEASSEEEE

00:12:51.680 --> 00:12:54.280
YASS YASS *victory royale*

00:12:54.560 --> 00:12:56.860
*unmanly laugh*

00:12:58.640 --> 00:13:00.780
I finished the game. I finished the game

00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:07.160
daddy needs a hug

00:13:07.180 --> 00:13:08.620
Gimme me a hug.

00:13:11.840 --> 00:13:13.840
Oh you just gonna go?

00:13:14.640 --> 00:13:16.640
You

00:13:17.600 --> 00:13:20.840
*RAGES of failure*

00:13:21.520 --> 00:13:23.380
(hugs for whamen respecter felix)

00:13:26.800 --> 00:13:28.800
No hug for me

00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:32.660
I'm sorry? No hug for me. Hey won't you have a seat right over there? Oh no

00:13:33.040 --> 00:13:35.740
That was together VR

00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:40.180
And oh my god, was it fantastic?

00:13:40.180 --> 00:13:45.700
Leave a like if you enjoyed. Buy the merch because I will get demonetized

00:13:46.860 --> 00:13:54.830
Don't spill G fuel on it because it will get. It's designed by me. It's very nice merch it's selling like a

00:13:55.400 --> 00:13:59.240
Walmart everybody and I'll see you guys next time

00:14:00.020 --> 00:14:00.800
bye bye

00:14:01.040 --> 00:14:01.940
*Subs to ChadIsMyName* <<sub to him he said, cool bus driver

00:14:01.940 --> 00:14:02.440
subtitles by nightfighter4 <<great guy, sub if you want, he thanks bus drivers

00:14:02.560 --> 00:14:03.500
edits by haise sasaki <<infinite weeb

00:14:03.520 --> 00:14:05.520
And last but not least: Sub to pewsipei, turn on notifs, smash like 25 times or i smash ur walmart, 9 yo fist for ya 👊(sub to Flindler)