WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-CA

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CinnamonToastKen

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It is I

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once again..

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it's time to review another reddit..

00:00:09.040 --> 00:00:10.560
oh my god.. idk if I'm ready

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I'm really not ready my AC just came on, sorry hang on

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Ken

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professional youtuber!

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Ken

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*laughs*

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It's time

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for another video.

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but THIS time..

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we're reviewing

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creepy asterisk

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oh ma gawd, Felix

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what are creepy asteriks?

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exactly what it says (haha)

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15 minutes ago

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Felix: Hey Ken

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Ken: Heeeeey Felix

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time to record video (laughs)

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Where's the asterisk at??

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(laughing)

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I'm really bad at this (laughs)

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Ken: (reads felix's comment)  FinGerS tHrOugH eYebAllS (laughs)

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Jesus Christ!

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Felix: okay..

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Let's record bro

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(felix reads ken's comment)

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LET'S FRICKEN DO THIS!

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That's what Creepy Asterisk is. It's when you roleplay with people

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online by using ASTERISKS

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Let's see how other people engage with asterisks!

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Wrong number texted me last night...

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Thought it belonged here.

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Hi

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Hey, who's this?

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(creepy asterisk music plays) *clears throat*

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(MHHMMM)

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It's Brandon from class *sweating (chuckles) profusely*

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Uh, I think you have the wrong number hA hA

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*Looks down at th eground, TWIRLING THUMBS*

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Shannon g-gave me your number...

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That's cool but you have the wrong number...

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I'm a twenty-five year old man

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CMONN it's Brandon from... ECON?

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I asked Shannon for your number...

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Let's hang out ;)

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*HAND ITCHING TO UNZIP PANTS?*

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WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!

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(ken laughs)

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Jumping RIGHT to it!

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(ken continues to die)

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ah jeez

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(felix and ken are now both laughing)

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Brandon goes... he.. jumps into it, literally

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He just gets right in there >:)

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He's got that.. that itchy trigger finger.. pulls it strait out!

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jezus

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So this is what creepy asterisk is. Okay, now I see...

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It is creepy...

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Brandon you have the wrong number. I'm not a woman, I literally have a mustache.

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Hey look it's you Ken!

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What?

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oh!

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Aye! oh my god.. (pauses) this got out?

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No every time I wanna unzip my pants I get this itchy hand.. UGHH BOUT TO UNLEASH MY POWER!

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My friend got some weird texts from a guy she knows and decided to fight fire with fire

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*Kisses your* (laughs)(stops trying to read seriously and regrets ever reading) *supple bare breasts and areolas*

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*Runs finger through hair!* (very nice)

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(Very intense voice) *takes my hunting knife and saws off your DICK*

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(Felix laughs)

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*watches you choke to death on your own genitals,* (breathes deep breath because this paragraph is very tiring)

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*then disposes your body in a heavily wooded area.*

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W

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T

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F!

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What the!

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(wheezes)

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HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME :(

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Oh my god!!!

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I was kissing your breasts!

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(felix gets actually annoyed) Great that'll be demonitized$$$ great.

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(Wheezes because doesn't even want to read) **Please don't read it**

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Thank you

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Of course!

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Of course!

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A post yesterday inspired me to try this out on my girlfriend

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*gently looks to the side... shyly* h..hey there honey * puts hands on your hips* how was your day?

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The was that?

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*looks shocked and sad* awww... you don't want to tell me? *puts hands in pockets dejectedly*

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(MYUH)

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Baby don't turn into a furry

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Oh it's furrys doing this

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OH

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NO

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It's those GODDAMN FURRYS!

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(laughs)

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(creepy asterisk music starts playing)

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Last Friday *licks your feet and giggles as you squirm*

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Is that the noise you make for the winkey three face?

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(MLEM)

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yea

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(laughs)

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Okay.. what the actual fudge (christian channel!)

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Are you serious with this roleplaying crap? (CHRISTIAN CHANNEL!)

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or are you just memeing?

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(hurt voice) Are... a-are you not into it? *Whines and hides head, thinking about how I'm such a

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screw-up and how nobody likes me*

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*begins to cry*

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(laughs at how stupid that whole text was)

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ARE YOU POOPING ME??

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I am pooping you.

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Nooo don't poop me:(

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I want them to continue. I want like a proper horrible  exchange

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Do you wanna date me?

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no

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Fine. I'll wait a hundred years if I have to.

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I'll be dead by then...

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Felix: Oh okay... (creepy asterisk music plays) *PRIES OPEN YOUR CASKET* Ken: WHAT?

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Felix: you don't look too bad

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(ken laughs)

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Felix: *lifts you out carefully from the mahogany burial box* you need a shower

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(ken wheezes)

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Felix: *bathes you?* (makes sense) all clean now ;)

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(cringes)

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Gtfo this is SICK!

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Felix: (creepy asterisk music plays again) you need some milk (ken wheezes) to keep those bones healthy

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Felix: *unbuckles belt*

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Ken: OH GOD

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NOOOO

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(felix and ken dying)

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(manly voice) You need some MAN MILK

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EWW

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*rips shirt open* *shows masculinity dominance*

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*looks shocked and gasps* (felix loses sanity) *gets a little.. gets a little excited*

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*eyes you up and down*

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*gets angry, but then realises, I like it too* (felix cringes) (I cringe) (ken cringes) (everyone cringes and actually wants to die)

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Wait what the (christian channel) was that?

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*hand is itching to unzip pant-* (laughs)

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*wipes sweat off brow* eh HEWO! (oh god I hate myself for writing that in)

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Is this after you unzip your pants?

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(felix gets very uncomfotable) ...I don't know

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uh who is this?

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ye- ah- you don't remember me?

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*wipes away tears* its me from class!

00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:52.800
Okay? I still don't know you but hi

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wh-would you like to.. go on a wittle date with me? *stands taller!*

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Nope.

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AHUH

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wha-why not??

00:06:01.780 --> 00:06:07.220
You're missing out on my (creepy asterisk music plays) meat scepter. *unzips pants*

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MY MEAT SCEPTER!

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Oh we're doing this now.

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Hold on.

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*Boyfriend walks into room* WHO THE (christian channel) IS THIS?

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I'M LOSING SANITY RN

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OOH

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(wtf laugh)

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He's going with it!

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*ponders zipping up pants* no, I won't be intiminated by you. *pulls out bulging MEAT SCEPTER!*

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*boyfriend laughs* HOOHOOHOO is that as big as it gets?

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I'm wel-well equipped. (chuckles) *presses hips into air*

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AND THE DICK PIC AHH

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THERE IT IS (laughs)

00:06:40.540 --> 00:06:41.740
The meat scepter!

00:06:41.740 --> 00:06:43.660
Finally we've been blessed!

00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:47.600
Well that's one way to segway a dick pic Jesus Christ

00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:49.680
Yeaah, it's like they can't wait to get their dick out.

00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:51.340
I like how they had an anime moment.

00:06:51.380 --> 00:06:52.680
of confrontation. "NO."

00:06:52.860 --> 00:06:53.360
NO

00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:54.560
I will NOT back down

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I must continue

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MEAT SCEPTER

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MLYEEEA

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MEAT SCEPTER (laughs)

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Mew mew *cuddles you for no reason*

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GO (cHriSTiaN ChaNnEL) YOURSELF!

00:07:05.080 --> 00:07:06.520
(laughs) AWW SO SAD :(

00:07:06.520 --> 00:07:11.420
Looks shocked and ejected, for my itchy zipper hand cannot be stopped.

00:07:11.900 --> 00:07:13.500
PULLS OUT MEAT SCEPTER!

00:07:14.340 --> 00:07:17.800
That's because I also have mine on *GIGGLES*

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*I kiss you passionately*

00:07:20.540 --> 00:07:21.040
oooh

00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:23.220
I'm really sorry but I'm really not into asterisks :0

00:07:24.180 --> 00:07:25.380
Oh okay, I'm sorry

00:07:25.380 --> 00:07:26.060
(wow this person wrote an action without asterisks like a smart ass ok then)

00:07:26.060 --> 00:07:26.560
Looks down

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I'll stop

00:07:28.660 --> 00:07:30.360
*pulls out meat scepter :(*

00:07:30.360 --> 00:07:31.540
(ken laughs)

00:07:32.880 --> 00:07:33.920
How 'bout this?

00:07:34.380 --> 00:07:35.660
Ha- how 'bout that?

00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:38.880
Hey! *blushes nervously*

00:07:39.460 --> 00:07:40.260
Who is this?

00:07:41.220 --> 00:07:43.220
*eyebrows furrow in sadness*

00:07:44.080 --> 00:07:48.640
You read my message and didn't reply!:( I expected better from you..

00:07:49.160 --> 00:07:51.160
*eyes water and I begin to cry*

00:07:52.220 --> 00:07:55.060
It's okay, no one loves me anyways...

00:07:55.060 --> 00:07:57.880
(ken forgets to talk) I don't still- I still don't know who the heck you are.

00:07:57.880 --> 00:08:00.380
(felix chuckles) why is that ALWAYS the case?

00:08:00.380 --> 00:08:01.700
He's like I don't even know you...

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*sniffles through tears* it's me from homeroom

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I wanted to kno-

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WHY DO THEY DO THE STUTTERING EVERYTIME

00:08:08.320 --> 00:08:10.220
I KNOW ! I DON'T UNDERSTAND

00:08:10.220 --> 00:08:12.420
wanted to go on a date sometime

00:08:12.420 --> 00:08:14.660
I have a boyfriend, dude, you know this

00:08:14.660 --> 00:08:20.840
(CHRISTIAN CHANNEL!!!) (sassy voice) Fine. Be like that. *my e- (chuckles) my eyes glow blue like sans* (laughes)

00:08:23.780 --> 00:08:26.420
(talks through laughing) I'll kill that kid myself

00:08:26.420 --> 00:08:28.540
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME, KID

00:08:28.540 --> 00:08:29.740
OOF blocked.

00:08:29.880 --> 00:08:31.960
(felix tries to talk like sans)

00:08:32.200 --> 00:08:33.580
WHAT IS THIS??!

00:08:33.900 --> 00:08:34.400
BROTHA

00:08:34.660 --> 00:08:35.700
I'M SO CONFUSED

00:08:35.700 --> 00:08:36.500
Ken: What are you doing?

00:08:38.060 --> 00:08:38.780
Ken: oh god

00:08:41.440 --> 00:08:41.940
OH GOD

00:08:43.460 --> 00:08:44.420
(ken wheezes)

00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:52.240
Um, sure I guess...

00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:53.920
*crawls in bed with you*

00:08:54.040 --> 00:08:54.620
Hi there

00:08:54.940 --> 00:08:56.440
haha hello

00:08:56.540 --> 00:08:58.940
Do you use cringey asterisks often?

00:08:58.940 --> 00:09:00.700
You want me to stop using them?:(

00:09:00.700 --> 00:09:01.860
It's just a little weird

00:09:01.900 --> 00:09:03.640
OK I'll stop

00:09:03.640 --> 00:09:05.320
(talks without asterisks) touches your breasts

00:09:06.920 --> 00:09:09.740
Understandable have a nice day

00:09:10.020 --> 00:09:10.900
What the hell

00:09:13.220 --> 00:09:16.020
It jus- it just goes from 0-100 every time.

00:09:16.020 --> 00:09:18.600
It's like, "Oh hey how ya doin'?" *GROPES YOU*

00:09:19.020 --> 00:09:19.900
meme review?

00:09:20.280 --> 00:09:21.320
What's the uh..

00:09:21.540 --> 00:09:23.620
Explain to me the Sasuke meme.

00:09:23.620 --> 00:09:25.620
Why is everyone on Twitter lately choking Sasuke

00:09:27.100 --> 00:09:27.900
I don't know

00:09:27.900 --> 00:09:29.460
no one likes Sasuke I guess

00:09:30.900 --> 00:09:31.780
I don't get it

00:09:31.780 --> 00:09:34.860
It's like, theres him and then theres someone like their hand off the screen like they're gonna choke him

00:09:34.860 --> 00:09:35.800
and I'm just like, "Why?"

00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:37.600
It just looks funny I- I don't know

00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:38.540
meme review ends

00:09:38.540 --> 00:09:40.720
(ok lets jump in) Wanna furry (christian channel)

00:09:40.760 --> 00:09:41.720
Jeseus Christ

00:09:42.760 --> 00:09:43.260
um

00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:44.580
*talk*

00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:45.720
(laughs)

00:09:46.820 --> 00:09:50.220
What do you mean by "furry talk"?

00:09:51.040 --> 00:09:52.320
IT IS A FURRY THING!

00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:54.700
im not writing that wtf

00:09:57.820 --> 00:09:59.500
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

00:09:59.500 --> 00:10:00.620
Are you still interested?

00:10:00.780 --> 00:10:01.580
I'm batman!

00:10:01.580 --> 00:10:03.280
Wa-wait were you serious??

00:10:03.280 --> 00:10:04.900
What about the whole "roleplay thing"?

00:10:05.500 --> 00:10:06.000
or...

00:10:06.280 --> 00:10:09.000
There's always room on big papa's lap

00:10:09.080 --> 00:10:11.300
ah, no thanks I'm good

00:10:12.460 --> 00:10:14.780
Allow me to save this conversation

00:10:14.840 --> 00:10:16.760
Uh you can certainly try bud.

00:10:17.780 --> 00:10:21.860
What do you think of the rapidly growing economy of Zimbabwe?

00:10:22.380 --> 00:10:22.880
HMMMM

00:10:22.880 --> 00:10:24.560
WELL, NOW THAT YOU MENTION THAT...

00:10:25.660 --> 00:10:27.040
THAT DID SAVE IT!

00:10:27.040 --> 00:10:28.060
Crisis averted.

00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:29.760
(laughs)

00:10:29.960 --> 00:10:33.000
I remember you could do asterisks with, like, (pewdiebot)

00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:35.020
Is PewDieBot still alive?

00:10:35.020 --> 00:10:35.840
I think it is!

00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:36.600
MY GOD

00:10:36.740 --> 00:10:38.540
IT'S STILL ALIVE

00:10:38.840 --> 00:10:41.160
OK lemme do- let's do uh, asterisks

00:10:41.160 --> 00:10:43.380
I don't know how I feel about watching this... PewDieBot:No... not another Brofist!

00:10:43.500 --> 00:10:44.620
Watching you... PewDieBot: *Brofist*

00:10:44.620 --> 00:10:45.960
Astrisks with yourself.

00:10:45.960 --> 00:10:46.500
(laughs)

00:10:46.500 --> 00:10:47.160
*licks face*

00:10:47.160 --> 00:10:51.660
*is kicked in the face and surrenders* I'll d-do anything you s-say just PWEASE NO m-mooooore!!

00:10:52.860 --> 00:10:54.740
Accurate. This is accurate

00:10:54.740 --> 00:10:56.400
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? THIS IS WHAT IT IS!

00:10:56.400 --> 00:10:57.360
PEWDIEPIE NO!

00:10:57.560 --> 00:10:58.060
NO!

00:10:58.060 --> 00:11:02.460
PewDieBot: *is kick* I surrender PWEASE DEUTSCHLAND I surrender *shows a surrender flag and coughes out blood*!

00:11:03.760 --> 00:11:05.360
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!

00:11:05.360 --> 00:11:06.340
It's so submissive

00:11:07.340 --> 00:11:08.860
PLEASE PLEASE NO

00:11:11.580 --> 00:11:12.300
BURNS MEAT

00:11:12.300 --> 00:11:13.520
AAAAAAAHHH

00:11:14.260 --> 00:11:14.900
(laughs)

00:11:15.700 --> 00:11:16.660
Not like this!

00:11:17.260 --> 00:11:19.040
PewDieBot: Wait, how old are you?

00:11:19.140 --> 00:11:19.640
OH GOD

00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:23.320
*unbuckles bra* * takes off your shirt*

00:11:24.160 --> 00:11:25.600
*his palms are sweaty

00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:26.880
*licks your belly*

00:11:27.060 --> 00:11:28.900
*knees weak arms are heavy*

00:11:28.900 --> 00:11:32.240
I can see your belly. let me see its beauty

00:11:32.860 --> 00:11:35.420
*theres vomit on his sweater already*

00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:36.880
You-you're okay??

00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:38.640
*MOM'S SPAGHETTI* OHH

00:11:40.060 --> 00:11:40.560
GOT EM

00:11:41.880 --> 00:11:44.680
K- konichiwa! *notices that you're a boy*

00:11:46.200 --> 00:11:48.800
Da-does You has a girl f-friend? OwO

00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:54.280
*Giggles my books jiggling* What? you BAKA

00:11:55.020 --> 00:11:55.520
WHAT?!

00:11:56.820 --> 00:11:57.460
(LAUGHS)

00:11:58.100 --> 00:11:59.540
What the hell is this?

00:11:59.540 --> 00:12:01.360
WHY DO YOU GOT JIGGLY BOOKS?

00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:04.200
Felix: Okay Ken, time for outtro

00:12:04.200 --> 00:12:05.740
Ken: My favorite part of the video!

00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:10.080
(laughs)

00:12:11.040 --> 00:12:14.160
Ken: We both come up with the same.. (laughing)

00:12:15.260 --> 00:12:17.420
What Ken that's so weird!

00:12:31.960 --> 00:12:33.000
(epic chuckle)

00:12:40.680 --> 00:12:43.480
(Felix and Ken laughing uncontrollably)

00:12:56.460 --> 00:12:57.660
laughing

00:13:01.660 --> 00:13:03.900
Oh, I was writing the same thing