WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.840 --> 00:00:05.000 [tranquil whistling music] 00:00:05.880 --> 00:00:10.660 [grass rustling] 00:00:11.440 --> 00:00:13.440 starboylester on instagram 00:00:14.440 --> 00:00:15.500 *spits* 00:00:15.600 --> 00:00:17.800 There's a Pokemon right fucking here. 00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:19.500 *sniffs* 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:22.800 The rarest Pokemon... of them all. 00:00:22.900 --> 00:00:24.100 *spits* 00:00:24.360 --> 00:00:25.860 I haven't showered... 00:00:26.560 --> 00:00:28.180 I haven't taken a shit... 00:00:28.440 --> 00:00:29.720 I'm constipated. 00:00:29.720 --> 00:00:32.320 Hold on, lemme -- let me check my GPS. 00:00:32.760 --> 00:00:34.280 Where is it? 00:00:35.040 --> 00:00:36.300 It's nearby. 00:00:36.480 --> 00:00:37.680 I found one! 00:00:38.640 --> 00:01:22.200 [Dramatic Music] 00:01:25.980 --> 00:01:28.640 You didn't see me, but here I am 00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:33.020 They call me Beast Master 64. 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:36.520 I'm the greatest Pokemon hunter alive. 00:01:36.800 --> 00:01:38.540 I've been on the hunt 00:01:38.960 --> 00:01:40.660 for 84 days. 00:01:40.840 --> 00:01:42.220 Where is it? [sniffs loudly] 00:01:42.220 --> 00:01:43.340 What - what's this?! 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:46.920 I'm getting closer. 00:01:49.720 --> 00:01:52.100 I was unarmed, outnumbered... 00:01:52.100 --> 00:01:54.100 But I caught a Blastoise. 00:01:55.240 --> 00:01:56.920 It had no arms 00:01:57.340 --> 00:01:58.780 but I got that sucker. 00:01:59.400 --> 00:02:00.880 No one sees me... 00:02:01.360 --> 00:02:03.080 I am the danger. 00:02:03.420 --> 00:02:04.320 You getting this? 00:02:04.320 --> 00:02:05.520 You fucking getting this? 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.440 [unintelligible talking] Ow 00:02:08.580 --> 00:02:09.600 [laughing] 00:02:09.780 --> 00:02:10.880 Ow, my balls! 00:02:11.040 --> 00:02:12.180 [laughing] 00:02:12.640 --> 00:02:13.420 Ah! 00:02:18.940 --> 00:02:20.020 ...False alarm. 00:02:20.020 --> 00:02:23.360 I used to have a Magikarp in my Pokedex. 00:02:23.740 --> 00:02:28.780 It evolved to a Gyarados but I snapped its neck before it happened. [Snapping noise] 00:02:28.860 --> 00:02:30.860 I still think about the sound. 00:02:30.880 --> 00:02:32.160 It puts me to sleep. 00:02:32.340 --> 00:02:34.260 A Machamp tried to wrestle me 00:02:35.620 --> 00:02:37.000 but I got him. 00:02:37.880 --> 00:02:39.220 With my ass hole 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:42.800 I punch a Charizard in the face, he never even got up 00:02:42.940 --> 00:02:45.400 I stole a Pikachu from a child. 00:02:45.580 --> 00:02:46.460 And then I... 00:02:46.860 --> 00:02:47.360 ate it. 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:49.800 Beast Master 64! 00:02:49.860 --> 00:02:52.560 I use a Geodude as a fucking football! 00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:55.320 There's at least four Pokemons in this area. 00:02:55.320 --> 00:02:56.920 Look there's one right there! 00:02:58.520 --> 00:02:59.400 Do you see it? 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:01.400 [Camera man] Wait where? 00:03:01.940 --> 00:03:04.260 Right there, between the benches. 00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:06.160 It's a Snorlax. 00:03:06.340 --> 00:03:09.840 *Pokemon Go music* 00:03:09.980 --> 00:03:10.860 [Camera man] I don't see it 00:03:10.980 --> 00:03:12.320 You're telling me you don't see it, 00:03:12.320 --> 00:03:13.540 It's right fuckin' there mate! 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:16.020 *Pokemon Go music* 00:03:16.020 --> 00:03:17.140 [Camera man] There's nothing there... 00:03:17.140 --> 00:03:19.160 Some say it's a dangerous profession, 00:03:19.640 --> 00:03:20.840 But I...I'm not-- 00:03:20.840 --> 00:03:23.380 WOAH, it's.. a go get down, get down!! *Pokemon Go music* 00:03:23.460 --> 00:03:25.540 There's a Machamp right there. 00:03:25.540 --> 00:03:27.680 Right fucking there, you see it? 00:03:27.820 --> 00:03:29.840 *Pokemon Go music plays* 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:33.800 [Camera man] um, Mr Beast Master 64? 00:03:33.800 --> 00:03:35.000 Say my name again. 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:36.820 [camera man] Uh, I don't think there's anything there.... 00:03:36.820 --> 00:03:38.260 [camera man] There's like nothing.... 00:03:38.640 --> 00:03:40.080 There's a fuckin'... 00:03:40.480 --> 00:03:41.280 Machamp... 00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:43.060 In two pieces. 00:03:43.060 --> 00:03:44.760 You're telling me you're not seeing this?! 00:03:46.220 --> 00:03:47.480 [Camera man] Pokemon aren't real! 00:03:47.480 --> 00:03:49.720 I will eat his legs tonight! 00:03:49.720 --> 00:03:51.240 You're telling me that's not real? 00:03:51.240 --> 00:03:53.040 [Camera man] Pokemon aren't real! They're not here. 00:03:53.040 --> 00:03:54.720 Pokemon are real. 00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:56.320 They're right there. 00:03:56.320 --> 00:03:57.180 [Camera man] There's no such thing! 00:03:57.200 --> 00:03:58.220 Listen man, listen... 00:03:58.220 --> 00:04:00.940 [Camera man] You can't just walk around outside and catch pokemon! 00:04:00.940 --> 00:04:02.140 [Deep voice] No... 00:04:02.140 --> 00:04:04.080 [Camera man] It's a game, it's a TV show! 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:05.240 [Camera man] It's not in real life! 00:04:05.300 --> 00:04:06.500 Pokemon are real! 00:04:07.220 --> 00:04:08.000 Shut up! 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:09.340 Shut the fuck up! 00:04:09.980 --> 00:04:11.740 They're real, goddammit! 00:04:11.900 --> 00:04:13.100 POKEMON ARE REAL! 00:04:13.260 --> 00:04:14.860 OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES! 00:04:15.660 --> 00:04:17.340 *scream of despair and frustration* 00:04:17.460 --> 00:04:18.800 Wait a minute... 00:04:20.020 --> 00:04:21.340 He's right... 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:25.500 No, no... 00:04:28.420 --> 00:04:30.200 No.. 00:04:30.520 --> 00:04:31.640 *groans* 00:04:31.880 --> 00:04:32.580 Why?! 00:04:33.160 --> 00:04:36.420 *sobbing* 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:39.280 All these years, I've been hunting... 00:04:40.220 --> 00:04:41.580 It was all in my head. 00:04:42.120 --> 00:04:43.080 It was in here. 00:04:43.080 --> 00:04:44.860 But if Pokemon aren't real... 00:04:46.380 --> 00:04:48.220 How can our eyes be real? 00:04:48.940 --> 00:04:49.720 Wait! 00:04:50.200 --> 00:04:51.900 What the fuck is that? 00:04:51.900 --> 00:04:53.900 [Camera man] That's a guy walking his dog. 00:04:54.260 --> 00:04:55.460 That's a Pokemon! 00:04:55.460 --> 00:04:57.120 That's a Pokemon, right there! 00:04:57.120 --> 00:04:58.220 [camera man] That's a normal person with a dog-- 00:04:58.220 --> 00:04:59.260 That's a Pokemon! 00:04:59.260 --> 00:05:00.800 Dogs are real, Pokemon are not-- 00:05:05.780 --> 00:05:07.140 That's my Pokemon! 00:05:07.380 --> 00:05:08.420 [Gunshot] 00:05:08.820 --> 00:05:17.560 [dramatic music] 00:05:19.620 --> 00:05:20.120 *sigh* 00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:22.200 If Pokemon aren't real... 00:05:23.940 --> 00:05:26.280 Then dogs aren't real either... 00:05:26.980 --> 00:05:30.660 *quiet sobbing* 00:05:30.940 --> 00:05:32.220 *heavy breathing* 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:33.940 [Gunshot]