[Dramatic Music plays]
Hey, Jacksepticeye...
I bet you think we're bros.
Just cause we hang out.
I bet you think we're straight up - homedogs.
Just cause we hugged once.
Well guess what?
I HATE MY DOG.
AND I HATE YOU TOO.
This is the JackSepticEye roast.
Prepare to get flamed.
Bitch.
[Dramatic Music plays]
JackSepticEye...
More like
JackSeptic... Bye.
[Music plays]
Hey Jack!
[Laughs]
When I first saw you
I gagged.
Jack!
Your facial hair makes you look like...
..a pre-pubescent member of ISIS.
And don't even think making fun of my hair
Because you wish you had this hair.
[Spitting noise] Bitch.
...That was so unnecessary.
Your abs
Looks like a vagina...
So I have to blur it.
Blur that shit!
Point proven.
Hey Jack!
This is what your fans think you look like.
But this is what you really look like.
Which is convenient,
Because your videos are about as cringey as a Dove commercial.
(Music plays)
[Music stops] Hey - hey Jack.
I found-
I found your twin.
[Music resumes playing]
Get it? Cause you're Irish.
See this?
Jacksepticeye is clearly a Nazi.
Don't hate me, I only spit the truth.
Jack!
You make me wanna lose my clothes.
And not because you're hot.
Because you're ripping me off!
[Music plays]
How come I can't find any diapers in your merch store?
How 'bout you start selling some PewDiePie dildos here.
So your fans can act like you and SUCK MY DICK.
[Music plays]
You only made it big because I gave you a shoutout!
You're my Make A Wish, bitch!
This is you as a fucking Minecraft!
ALL YOU DO.
IS FUCKING SCREAM IN YOUR FUCKING VIDEOS!
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY AND CREATIVE?!
People say I'm the Trump of Youtube?!
Yeah well-then you're the Hillary Clinton!
THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE WATCH YOUR VIDEOS
is because you're a TRAINWRECK-
AND PEOPLE CAN'T LOOK AWAY.
YOU'RE LITERALLY WORSE THAN RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON.
I- I'm sorry that was...
That was too far.
JackSepticEye...
More like...
Jackseptic... Tank.
[Moaning]
I'm roasting your whole family Jack.
You're all a bunch of potatoes.
That's right bitch, you got roasted.
Now what are you gonna do about it?
Bitch.
Some people like to think that Jack got big because of me.
Because I gave him a shoutout.
But I gave a shit ton of- I gave like...
At least thirty people a shout out.
And none of them went nearly as far
And were nearly as successful as Jack
That's because Jack is a talented
Funny,
Charismatic,
Beautiful Irish man.
I love you. [kiss noise]
I'm happy you're my friend.
Please don't unsubscribe.
I hope you guys enjoyed this roast!
Let me know if you want more!
Leave a like if you enjoyed!
And I'll see you bros in the next video.
As always...
Stay awesome bros!
M'kay we will go with-
Evenecesseneseh
5 points.
Cause he needs to wake up and kill himself.
Why you so mean?