*Sad music*
UGH!
I don't believe it
How could this happen to me?
BTS...They unfollowed me!
Why-are we still here?
*background* Just to suffer. Every night, I can feel my leg and my arm *background monologue continues*
They used to follow me! What-what happ-that was wrong
What happened?
What did I do wrong?
WHAT DID I DOOOO? D,X
WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO UNFOLLOW ME AFTERWARDS?!
WHAT THE FUUUCK AAGH
I'm going to have to read the Reddit roast to feel better about myself.
This is the lowest point of my fucking life.
This is the-it doesn't get worse.
Okay, let's do this. *Airhorn*
I am the perfect man. There's nothing to roast about. But let's just see it anyway.
To see what you guys said.
What kind of mean things you guys said
Okay well here, here first of all, I apparently did it wrong; you're not supposed to use the phones and tablets.
Okay here's the first one, 14,000 points:
"Judging from the quality of this thread I think you're going to struggle to make this video...10..."
You don't know how long this video is going to be.
"He's going to read it slow"
No I'm not...
"And repeat at different volumes and levels-"
God-oh, you think you know everything, do you. You think you know ever-oh, okay.
That's great he has a sound board for-SHUT UP *airhorn*
"If he reads this comment chain in the video, he will do exactly what we're describing but exaggerate in an attempt to mock us."
Oh you think you know everything, huh?
"That phase when not sure if fans providing content or haters trying to actually roast"
EH
Good job. Good job. You know what? I appreciate the 10 minutes.
How long are we? How long are we into this?
Um
"Let's give him something to speak about. Hey Pewds, try making a video on how you felt when Wall Street Journal
and Disney made you cry one camera to 12 years olds for their support."
Well, I guess that means you're 12, because you watched it. Ha, can't argue with facts.
Straight up...disproving your point.
Fucking got 'em
"He'll doing like every other video"
Well, I cant fucking understand you, so, roast declined. Got 'em.
*Airhorn**Jackspedicey scream*
"I miss"-HAHAHA-"I miss 2006 Pewdiepie, when you didn't have a youtube channel."
WELL JOKE'S ON YOU BITCH, CAUSE I DID!
And it was called youtube.com/pewdie Disproven! 2016! Disproven!
Can't argue with facts! Fuck you!
"Leave this guy-leave the guy alone. It must be hard when every time you go to someone else's house-
-You expect to see Chris Hanen asking you to take a seat and question why you spend all day talking to kids on youtube."
ONLY KIDS WATCH PEWDIEPIE HAHAHAHAHHAA Oh, that's fuckin-shut up.
Anyway, I don't care. Whatever.
Listen, you guys don't understand. BTS unfollowed me on twitter. Words can't hurt me anymore.
I have already broken and I can't be fixed.
Sticks and stones, uh, BTS unfollows.
*BTS music playing in background*
Ruined. It's ruined-you ruined-RUINED!
"Your channel peaked when you didn't have face cam"
Oh yeah, well joke's on you, cause fuck you. There ya go You're welcome.
Weak. Weak. These roasts are weak.
Roasts? More like..."hey, did someone turn up the AC a little bit?"
Yeah, I laugh at my own ones, so shut up
"You look like the only man in the world who actually managed to grow his virginity back"
"And that's assuming somehow he lost it in the first place"
OH SHIT I'M A VIRGIN By the way, none of your concern, but I put my penis in many places.
Uh, that you don't have to worry-you don't have to worry about it, okay?
"As you get older and your face settles into adult looks, you're going from 'cute young Swede'-
-to 'Lurch from the Addams family' at an incredible rate"
Wait, who's Lurch? I don't know who Lurch is.
AHAHA I see it, I 100% see it. What the fuck? God damnit
Reading: "You ruined more 12 year olds than the Catholic Church"
Hey man. That's low for the Catholic Church, man Come on. Let em alone.
"The creativity for the roasts in this comment section is on par with the creativity on your channel"
*Airhorn* Yes.
"Your content reminds me of IKEA: simply, cheaply made, and put together quickly with no real effort"
Ah, that's good. That one was good. I'll give you that one.
You know what? I love IKEA and I'll take it. You know what? I'll take it.
It's surprisingly accurate as well.
"To be fair, it can't be easy to think of fresh content this many years into the game"
*Airhorn* That's fucking right! I wanna see you try doing an upload daily videos every single God damn day, okay?
Yeah, I think I've done a lot of great videos. Of course some of them aren't gonna be top notch.
But at least I fucking try.
I try at least, okay? I fucking try. I try my best. What am I supposed to do? *BURP*
If I don't upload videos daily, people be like "he's lazy now!" but if I don't, if I upload videos daily,
People are like "he's running out of ideas!" I can't wait, no matter what I do, there's no win!
Except if I do the videos 10 minutes
Cause the ads. The ads always win.
Why are we still here? Just to suffer. Every night, I feel my leg.
"I'm not giving you free content, you lazy cunt."
Well you just did. *airhorn* Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
*Applause* Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you.
I like this one. "Low budget filthy frank" okay yeah, I heard it a million times. "Higher budget, still worse"
"Ever since you bleached you hair, you look like a lesbian."
Uh, well I mean I guess that's true.
Hey, it's a bleach joke, everyone. It's a drinking bleach joke, everyone. Ha-top of the morning to you laddies
Drink bleach and kill yourself, man!
AHAHA "The humor of Amy Schumer with a personality of Cameron Diaz."
*Airhorn* Thank you guys, thank you. 'Preciate it.
All right, well it looks like that's uh, that's uh the roast. Good job everyone.
Thank you reddit for roasting me. I appreciate you taking the time. I feel honored.
Um, I feel honored to be uh slightly, "heated up", I think is more like the term.
BTS unfollowed me. And nothing else is ever going to hurt that much. It's not your fault, Reddit.
It's BTS. Okay? You gave it your best shot, but nothing will ever hurt as much as BTS unfollowing me on twitter.
Why am I still here? God fucking damnit.
What did I do wrong. I make a video praising them, saying I love them.
I wanna be them. I wanna marry them. But apparently not good enough!
Is the video 10 minutes yet?
*Relaxing music for the sole purpose of subtlely elongating the video to 10 minutes*
Almost there...
Aw yiss...