Remember when Vine died? And everyone was like...
*Sneezes?*
This doesn't affect ME in any way possible. So uh... Look at all these cry- crying Viners.
That's hilarious:)
(Laughs slightly)
Where are the-, why are they even crying you know? If YouTube died, I'd be the first one to celebrate!
I got a Moët au Chandon Charles & Diana 1961 bottle ready to pop open
and celebrate any time Google pull-
Plugs-
Hits the pl-
Whatever the expression is, I don't speak English.
Apparently.
Gabi: Twitter decided to delete Vine.
But we didn't really think of the long-term effects, you know?
What are the long-term effects of Vine dying going to be? Well...
I'll tell you what...
Lele: hEY GUYZZ
Vine refugees. >:( They're ev-
They’re everywhere.
They spread all across the Internet. Some went to YouTube. Some went to Instagram where they can continue spreading their six-second content in a new way.
Look.
I'm making these hilarious repetitive content with sexual references that is generally unfunny.
Plz accept meh:'(
Exhibit number one...
The Paul Brothers.
We don't need to talk too much 'bout them
wheel- we'll- I've-
already have and
(...and?)
The damage is done.
"♪ ho ho ho ♪"
"cʰʳᶦˢˢᵐᵃˢˢᵗᶦᵐᵉ!"
"ᵃᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃ"
My favorite vine refugee has to be
Piques (It's "peaks" I think but PKs works too:)
Piques...
Piques.
Piques is my man
I love Piques. Piques was an amazing Viner that refugeed into Instagram.
Which, if you ask me, seems to be the wrong move to take. I know that you can make a lot of money on Instagram
very easily, but at the same time. It's not very monetizable.
I don't- I don't see a lot of #ads happening here. Piques does-
uhh...
Wha- uehu- what you do on Instagram, which is-
uhh...
yourself sitting on, or in front of, cars. :/
With a funny caption like: "When she says 'sit on my face:)' ".
*Canned Laughter*
Or "I'm blue. If I was green I would die."
*Louder Canned Laughter*
Or "When you have a nice car, but you're ugly. Tag and ugly friend."
*On-the-verge-of-suicide Canned Laughter*
Uh...What really shines in Piques's content is...
*Tries to give compliment without stating the obvious*
The sexual-ness of it, which really thr- uh- thrives the thumbnails. (What?)
"Babe, I want a new purse, can I have some money?"
(He should have stopped there:)
Like a lot of people watch these for the hot babes in the thumbnail...
*Air quotes* Uh...
Babes? We could qu- quotate- quotation- I have lost- I'm- I'm gonna hit a stroke soon.
I can't talk anymore. Jesus Christ.
I watched it for-
...for the...
(The) Piques's arm hair.
That's where babies are born.
"No!"
"...I'll let you put it in my butt...?"
(King Bach Vine SFX)
♪ ((Go Get The Money by Young Dolph blasts unironically)) ♪
((trascriptor's note: help
*What is this?*
(Both subtitlers and Felix are now dead inside...)
kay-
couldn't-
ⁿᵒ...
...couldn't- wouldn't- wouldn't it be...
cheaper just to get a prostitute?
AND I KNOW what you're thinking-
"I wonder if there's a part two to this video..."
Don't worry. There is.
There is a part 2. (Sadly:( )
"Baabe? I need some money. I want some new shoes."
"Hell no"
"...I'll let you play with these...?"
♪ ((Go Get The Money by Young Dolph blasts unironically...again)) ♪
beh-
ugnh-
*breathes in*
...
-I don't...-
-just need to...
sit down...
(bUT cAn YoU d0 tHiS?)
*Whispers* Soo fucking cancerrr.
"hELl nO!"
But I know what you're thinking.
ehh- uh- feh-
-I need to know what happens next; is there a part three of this?
*Whispers again* Of course there is!
"Will you buy it for me?"
"Uhhh, no, and stop asking me for shit."
"I'll let you put in my butt again."
GOHEHGETTEHMONEY GO GET THE MONEH
*pat pat* (mEMe ReVIeW)
*pat*
FUCK. I want to die. Goddamnit...
((Go Get The Money by Young Dolph blasts unironically...again...as the transcriptor lifts a gun to her head)) ♪
There's so many. Oh my God. We're barely getting started.
♪ opera music ♪
♪♪
Second transcriber: Ok, what the actual fuck? How is that even possible?!
♪♪
Nice...
He's so light-headed... (Sorry, I really wanted to make that pun:)
What was the joke?
What was the joke? The joke was-
uhhh...
uhh... (Subtitles are a big ass effort btw:/)
-the joke was-
Excellent use of- uhh...
...thumbnail, by the way. You can't show that on YouTube. We'll have to blur it, but-
uhh...
10/10 (IGN)
♪ Bad to The Bone intro riff plays ♪
Let's see, uhh, what the joke is. Okay. Okay.
(Oh shit, dude! Nice!)
(Wait... let me look again just to make sure those are real...)
*Car honks*
(Observe and be amazed! The world's first flying car! Being tested by an ex-Viner refugee Instagramer named Piques! [We've never heard of him, either.])
Oh-
Wait-
Never mind.
"I cracked so hard."
Me too.
♪ A Thousand Miles intro piano plays ♪
"Oh- god-"
Inaudible music in background*
Oh, look. It's the same joke twice.
You know I used to have a...
I used to have a gun as a prop.
That's up there again what I would...
I would put it in my mouth...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
...and then I would shoot myself.
Can't do that anymore because any video I did that with would get demonetized.
*Reminiscing about all the money he's missed out on...*
Now I wish I had an actual gun.
Now as previously mentioned a lot of uh-
Vine refugees went into vlogging as you already probably know...
Let's go and check out one of them. (Amanda Cerny)
If you ever want to do subtitles, make sure you have an hour's worth of time because these take FOREVER.
Nothing but....
...bills, bills, bills and more bills... that is life." *zooms in...
What is this, Twitch IRL seg- section?
Let me just place this camera right here... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
uhhuh- ah- I'm just gonna-
I'm just gonna-
Don't look, naughty boys!
Pewds why???
Like, I'm all for accepting refugees. That's something very important that I believe in... but this is just too much.
Now a lot of people have been ripping into my girl,
Lele Pons.
She's been criticized a lot lately by the YouTube Community, and I don't understand.
I don't understand why.
Why?
Whaih?
Uh- maybe you've heard of her... uh, she owned Vine. She was basically the-
uhh...
"Get hit by everything".
That's funny.
Right?
Well, give it back.
Yeah, obviously...
So where is my-
Whoaaaa...
Honk, Honk
MAH PENCIL!!!
She's a master, MASTER of physical comedy
(Warning headphone users*)
(You have been warned...*)
*slight laughter*
(Smile...*)
I love when people fall. It's so funny.
(Behold... the first ever human cat named Lele Pons!)
But I'm here to defENd Lele Pons cause the criticism that she's getting is unjustified.
Okay, you don't understand Lele Pons like I understand Lele Pons.
*deep enhale*
*Deep exhale*
And people are just salty that Lele Pons was in the YouTube rewind and-
...you weren't in YouTube rewind. You salty?
"We've got two special guests with us."
And people are just saying: "Wow, her face looks-"
"What's wrong with her face? My God!" And I say...
You guys don't understand what an amazing person she is. She literally donated her hair towards charity.
Sorry- she donated her hair *extensions* to charity. And though those are pretty expensive, so-
(I bet beard extensions cost more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That's pretty nice of her to do. Do you guys like not being bullied? Don't worry! Lele Pons is here to help.
It's the first video that shows up when searching how not to get bullied.
People are criticizing this video a lot, but...
...you don't understand...
...Lele Pons like I understand Les- Lele Pons, okay? She did not just make this vlog; she directed it,
She- w- she edited it, she wrote it and she acted in it. That takes talent.
Okay, where she's been-
She's basically the next Tommy Wiseau.
"You know what they say..."
"HEY GUYS!" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Kid 1: "They're wrong; Social Studies sucks!"
Kid 2: "Wait... let's just stop fighting. Where's the teacher?"
"Oh my god." "She's pretty."
...
She wrote that.
She wrote that about herself.
It really reminds me of "The Room". You know how everyone in "The Room" says that Lisa is attractive?
Violin Music*
"Wow, you look so sexy. "
Lele Pons.
"I'm not here to tell you that tomorrow you're not gonna get bullied!
Y'all are probably get bullied!
Especially you, you whiny nincompoop! "
"I don't even know-
If-
Immagodacolag-
And- imgonagetbulied-
cauzimgonagetbulied
And then- anthenthepeepolwhoosed-"
I can't understand a single word he's saying. This is a great sketch.
"Mu- Ms- Ms. Pons? I just wanna say you're very beautifully and um-"
"Shut up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"
Again.
Again. She's- shefpushuhsuhpuhfufhs...
Okay, let's see... what should I write? Twelve-year-old says: "I am pretty."
Okay, that's good.. And then we have
Uh...
Twelve-year-old says: "I am pretty" again. Yes, that's right. People need to know that I'm pretty.
I'm Lele Pons.
And people are loving it.
Hahaha, that's cool.
Hahaha
...and Jesus Christ, I guess. I guess I should start making sketches.
Just kidding.
I get way more views
hEheheheh( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Ooh... it's a little turbuleeeeent"
"TURBULENCE!"
"voice over intercom: we're experiencing some turbulence please take your seats"
(SCREAMING)
Spanish Music* (*Subscribe to pewds*)
You ever watch your 5 minute video and wondered... "Ehh- what was the point of that?"
(That's all your videos!)
Oh-oh- my videos. Oh- yea- you're really funny. They're ten minutes.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm always looking for the punchline. I don't...
Why?
There's never... there's never there's never any punch line.
"...after I won the Latino Hunger Games, I was traumatized..."
"And I knew you were the only one that can stop it. Like you did in the US District." (You mean D.C.?)
" *sighs* "So...
...are you in Miss?"
"They don't call me Katniss Everdeen for nothing"
*Spanish Music
((This song..))
What was the joke?
"I have never clicked so fast, I love you girl."
To be fair, you know, people- people clearly enjoy this content for good reasons, which I have explained.
And I'm glad that people just get entertained by this because they should be. Because it's amazing.
Uhh... and to be fair, at least as bad as it is an-and as cancerous as it is, At least...
...it's original content
:'(((((((
Except it's the same joke.
egugheghhhhhhhhgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh-
Over and over.
Leave a like if you enjoyed this video and donate to my Patreon. (You have a Patreon?)
It's down in the description.
(Serious) The joke here is that I don't have a Patreon, but I would love to get one. (Oh:/)
(One last good-hearted laugh:)
(this is going to be the NEXT BIG JOKE!)