[Distorted Windows start-up music]
So you've found my secret, huh?
[Bell chimes]
WHY.
WHY do you want to know my secret?
[Bell chimes, louder]
Yeah, well, you're right.
T r y p o p h o b i a .
[Organ plays, choir sings]
Why does this un-godly thing...
...exist?
I've seen it all.
Pimple poppin'.
[Distorted noise]
Toe nails losing.
[Distorted noise]
BUT AIN'T NOTHING COME EVEN CLOSE
to trypo...
[whispers] ...mother fucking...
[whispers] ...phobia...
♫DON'T WANNA CLOSE MY EYES♫
♫I DON'T WANNA FALL ASLEEP♫
♫'CAUSE I MISS YOU, BABY♫
♫AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING♫
Alright, here we go.
[Narration]: "In the course of half a billion years of evolution,"
"a Suriname toad has eggs that hatch in pockets on her back."
OHHHHH.
"Skin care, as it were."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
"They're now leaving the--"
[Pewds gagging]
Just kill it!
This is why we invented flamethrowers.
F-F-FLAME AWAY, BOIS
If it was me - If it was a Pokemon battle...
Me VS Surinam toad
I'd be dead!
I'd just accept my fate, and die...
Die fast.
ooooohhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY!!!!!!!!
What is with HOLES?
And why am I so scared of them?
except a ceRTAIN TYPE OF THEM.
[Distorted] IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Now these look like buttholes, that multiplied...
...and I can respect that.
So I don't have a problem with this- the butthole thing.
What is this?
. . .
What the fuck is that?
I don't know what it is.
I don't care if it lives.
But it needs to fuckin' DIE.
I hate holes. I just hate holes!
I... what can I say-
ooOOOHHH!!!!!!!
AAHHH!!
God...!
*gorilla sound*
You're a SWEDISH...
...fuckin'...
...VIKING.
You gotta get over your phobia, man.
You gotta get over it.
Ohhh......
[Inhales]
ooohhhh...
I know it's macaroni... but it looks so fuckin' nasty
Let's move onto the next one!
Oh, God!
[High pitched scream]
I wanna die now!
[sad piano music]
Michael: What happened?
Life is not worth living....
Michael?
Michael: yeh?
Give my channel to Edgar.
It's not worth it.
It's not worth living...
...on this planet.
I'm scared. [Laughs]
He's not even wearing fuckin' gloves.
He's not even wearing gloves...
By the end of this video, that man, will be ME.
That man is my
HE-RO.
What the fu- this is a Google Maps link...
...What the fuck is thi-
eeeEEEWWWAAAAAHHHH
We need to BOMB THAT PLACE
RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW.
--CALLING --[Computer voice] Calling: Ethan Bradberry...
CALLING MR. PRESIDENT.
[Computer voice] Calling: Mr. President.
I have the coordinates..
49... 04'41...
0...
North...
BLAST THAT SHIT TO SPACE!! [Explosion]
What fuckin' country... can contain this EVIL...
what fuckin' PLACE on this PLANET can contain--
THAT is HELL.
That sort of...
WASHINGTON!!
[soft cheery music]
oh God, it's mozzarella, isn't it..?
But goddamn, do I hate it...
FOOD Is something--you're--eh--don't--
STOP RUINING FOOD FOR ME. Thank you very fuckin' much.
Oh, you're still with me? Cause.. this- this is HARD, man...
I- I -I un... I understand that I'm not the
UUAGH
Alright, a video...
Earwax...
[Soft cheery music continues]
oh no...
Oh, NO...
Who MADE this?.. you fuckin'... fuckin' weirdo..
the fuck- why does it look like popcorn??
Is that a BABY in his ear?!
[Sadly] Why is there a BABY in there...
GET IT ALL OUT.
GET IT ALL OUT...
Oh god..
Just clean your fuckin' EARS, man!
Why would you do that to your face?
"Best Halloween costume ever"
Worst... the worst
It's the WORST..
Oh, it's- eUgh..
It's FLOWERS and it's supposed to be BEAUtiful, but
GODDAMN.
Oh, this is rubber bands...
This one is weird...
Oh my GOD. Hello.
It's me in the morning, ladies.
Sorry...
[Laughs]
Yup, that's me right after..
♫Don't know where it goes, but it's home to me
[Distorted] ♫And I wal--♫
We got one more. One more...
To be a MAN.
One more...
To have some fuckin' BALLS.
On your chin.
One more, baby. C'mon. C'mon!
[Barks]
This is weird toys...
It can't be that bad...
[laughs]
[laughing] Why...
Not even Barbie deserved this...
[Pewds, echoing, over serene music] The Earth is beautiful...
The Earth is a beautiful... place...
*MARINA INTENSIFIES*
There is no such THING.. as irregular... holes..
[Marina Joyce, distorted]: "I believe in love."
[Whispers] There is no such thing...
[Marina]: MY DREAM IS TO BUILD A TEMPLE IN PERU
[Marina, slowed down]: T E M P L E I N P E R U
[Sniffs]
I'm crying.
ALRIGHT, Hope you enjoyed this video, if ya did
Slam that like on, so I get more likes because...
I don't know, I guess it helps????
Biggest channel on YouTube, have no fuckin' clue how this site works.
Uh, let me know, though, or whatever, alright?
Maybe leave a comment, maybe hit subscribe twice??
FUCK WITH THE SYSTEM... I don't know.
But, as always, thank you so much for watching *smoochy smooch*
Stay awesome, bros.
[Slurp]
Got a lotta saliva coming out.
[Slurp]
[Horror music]
"Try not to laugh 'che-lle-nege'"
"Collected by GaryTheViking"
Is that Leafy?
Alright, here we go.
[Woman's voice]: They ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine,
when you're not really fine, but you just can't--