I'm fairly certain social media is making us all retarded. (yas)(it Iz)
You should reclassify Facebook to what it is: to wat
an anti-social network.
?
(wierd music plays and...)
Let's get social. (scaryyyyyyy)
Social! (not)
And yesterday Twetter went full retard.
I have joined ISIS, guys.
(dramatic music plays as he will try)
I didn't think it was that big a deal, but a lot of people seem to think so.
Different news outlets posted about this, and you might be wondering why.
Why did PewDiePie join ISIS? (idk)
How could he do that? (upside down)
I thought he was just a YouTuber from Sweden, how could he do this?
How can he betray us like this?
If u see dis, ur cool
*chair knocks against mic*
Well let me explain, damn it.
Let's start from the beginning, you know verified on Twitter?
That little blue checkmark that people have?
Which people seem to use as some form of status symbol now.
You got the blue checkmark, you're fucking cool.
Alright?
People write shit about it in their bio being like "It's not a big deal".
I'm verified but I dont really know why *giggle*
I know why I'm fucking *laugh* I'm the fucking coolest bitch ever.
Social!
Oh this verified tick-mark? Pfft, not a big deal.
If you're wondering why I'm verified, I don't know.
I don't really know.
I'm honestly like, "what did I do?"
That tick doesnt mean that I'm important.
Yes it fucking does.
It just means
I'm me.
Now, why do people want this checkmark? I don't know.
If anyone with a blue checkmark interact [sic] with you in anyway possible you get a notification on your phone.
So let's say, Taylor Swift.
Tweets at me, I'll get a notification about it.
Now, a lot of people do it-
What they do is they'll just start following you, hoping that you will follow back.
If you follow more people,
It basically means that you get recommened to be followed by other people.
Twitter has this "who to follow" suggestions.
If you follow a lot of people, you are likely to show up.
I'll show you some experts.
We have Melissa Joan Hart.
Remember "Sabrina, The Teenage Witch"?
She follows two hundred thousand people.
She follows me for some reason.
I am sure she is a big fan.
Two hundred fucking thousand times
she clicked "Follow".
Oh, it get [sic] worse.
"Bart Baker"...
Five hundred and seventy thousand follower. [sic]
You are following five...
You are following almost more people than follows you.
What the fuck?
You have someone hired, like a little sweatshop person
who just click [sic] follow for you?
I don't understand.
Okay, you know what? Fine. You know, it's not hurting anyone. I don't care.
The one thing that I think is a little funny
is like when you follow
four hundred and fifty one thousand people,
you're a YouTuber,
but you're making your business to make sure
that you don't follow PewDiePie.
*giggles*
You know I'm gonna follow a half a million people but PewDiePie...
fuck that guy,
NOT GONNA FOLLOW THAT GUY
Okay, this video is getting side tracked,
let me get back to my point.
I think we can all agree that this is just fucking annoying.
Well it gets worse.
There is people that will follow you,
and then they will unfollow you,
and then they will follow you again
and then they'll unfollow you
and then they'll follow you again
so you keep getting notifications.
They hope that you will notice you [sic]
and follow back
well guess not [sic]
NO I SEE THE NOTIFICATIONS
I'M NOT GONNA FOLLOW BACK!
WHY IS THIS A THING?
I don't know how this started,
but people...
basically
I'll see this in my notifications:
"Emii liked a tweet you were mentioned". [sic]
I'm like oh okay that's cool.
Oh, so she liked a fan post.
SHE DOESN'T EVEN FOLLOW ME!
Why the fuck would you like a fan tweet?
Why would you do...
YOU'RE BLOCKED
Okay?
Now, with verification process being just fucking annoying
I decided to unverify myself.
Yes, it is possible.
Now I did this yesterday as a joke.
It was really funny cause you can see a lot of people joined in.
I added the globe instead
and that's my new,
that's the real notification
fron now on
But then, America woke up...
*laughs*
That's when shit got stupid.
So this fake,
obviously fake,
website
called Sky Neeews.
Which ironically enough is not verified as well...
So everyone was wondering:
''Why the fuck did he unverify himself?"
Everyone who didn't understand the joke.
And wanting a reason so badly
they would believe anything.
So Sky News posted:
"Popular Youtuber PewDiePie unverified due to suspected relations with ISIS".
Seems legit, right?
You click on the news story-
Oh
It just goes to...
It just goes to a random article.
That's great
That would-
That woul-
That would have taken anyone like, what, half a second?
So people started believing this,
that I joined ISIS.
What the fuck
are you doing?
Sorsha: Seriously
Both: What the fuck are you doing?
And ironically enough,
this Sky News
uh, f-
Is obviously a fake
and it's not verified,
so
it really proves the point
how verified really
makes all the difference.
It's really a-
effective system *ironic tone*
to distinguish the fake accounts from the real ones.
Cause clearly no one belie-
*laughs*
No one- everyone saw that this was not verified
and they thought to themself:
"Wow that is not verified,
this article about PewDiePie joining ISIS,
that just can't be real because it's not a verified account
and I can see that because it doesn't have the verified tick mark!"
Clearly it doesn't even fucking work.
Seeing how stupid this was I tweeted a joke saying:
"Me and Jack joined ISIS, which is why we both got unverified".
And uh,
everyone just started freaking out.
So dumb.
Why am I here?
Mashable posted about it,
people are freaking out.
They even reached out to Jack who had literally nothing to do with it.
"Could you comment about this story about PewDiePie joining ISIS?"
Man, being a journalist must really be...
a fulfilling work. [sic]
I think we can summarise this entire video
as in, does this shit fucking matter?
Absolutely not.
Now,
I invite you to join and be Globified
as I like to call it.
Which, by the way, is way fucking cooler
than verified,
thank you very much.
I don't know why I got Globified or who I am honestly,
I still don't know...
Guys, my Globified tick...
It doesn't mean I'm important.
It just means I'm me.
Now I invite you to become Globified as well.
Really what the Globe means is my ranking in ISIS.
You start off with the Globe
and then you, you potentially move up to the blue flower-thing,
and if you're real lucky,
you can have... the popcorn.