WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en-GB 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.960 Y'all heard of 50/50? 00:00:01.960 --> 00:00:03.960 ♫ ♫ ♫ 00:00:05.380 --> 00:00:06.840 You think you can handle it? 00:00:07.020 --> 00:00:10.860 ♫ ♫ ♫ 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:12.800 Ya fuckin' pussy. 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:13.300 Alright. 00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:15.300 I know y'all can't handle this shit. 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:18.000 I know y'all gonna flag this fucking video, 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:19.580 LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO 00:00:19.580 --> 00:00:21.060 And I have to call Google and be like 00:00:21.060 --> 00:00:22.320 *ringing telephone* HEY 00:00:22.400 --> 00:00:23.740 They flagged another one... 00:00:23.740 --> 00:00:28.400 Yeah, my ah- my fanbase is basically a bunch of pussies 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:29.260 *hangs up* 00:00:29.260 --> 00:00:31.600 Ooh, this video had blood in it. 00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:34.120 Ooh, this video had nipples in it... 00:00:34.120 --> 00:00:37.220 Ooh, this video was a little bit too sexual... 00:00:37.220 --> 00:00:38.800 Ooh, he maybe "swirl" *... 00:00:38.800 --> 00:00:39.860 Excuse me ? 00:00:39.860 --> 00:00:43.720 Why don't you just go to the fuckin'... 00:00:43.720 --> 00:00:44.860 Australia. 00:00:44.860 --> 00:00:46.400 Like the good ol' days. 00:00:46.400 --> 00:00:47.060 Alright? 00:00:47.060 --> 00:00:49.660 What do you... Oh, I bet you even flagged this video already... 00:00:49.660 --> 00:00:51.740 Because you're triggered by my glasses. 00:00:51.740 --> 00:00:53.520 *baby crying in the background* Y'all a bunch of wimps 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:56.780 *dramatically* Don't flag the fucking video, alright? Stop flagging the video. 00:00:56.780 --> 00:00:59.960 I'm sick and tired of this fucking shit. Can y'all stop flagging 00:00:59.960 --> 00:01:00.460 MY 00:01:00.460 --> 00:01:00.960 FUCKING 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:01.680 VIDEOS?! 00:01:01.680 --> 00:01:02.260 STOP 00:01:02.500 --> 00:01:03.000 FLAGGING 00:01:03.180 --> 00:01:04.240 THE VIDEOS. 00:01:04.340 --> 00:01:07.640 God dammit, I don't make any money if you flag the video... 00:01:07.640 --> 00:01:11.640 What do you think, I do this for free? Do you think I'm some kind of fucking charity? 00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:12.780 Do you think I'm... 00:01:16.600 --> 00:01:18.480 Do you think I do this for fun?! 00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:20.500 Do you think I do YouTube for fun? 00:01:20.500 --> 00:01:22.660 I'm only in it for the money! 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:26.160 Fuck you for you thinking that, alright ? 00:01:26.160 --> 00:01:28.060 Now I gotta make this video... 00:01:28.060 --> 00:01:30.980 And it would be great if you don't fucking flag it, alright? 00:01:30.980 --> 00:01:34.060 Don't... Flag... The video! 00:01:34.060 --> 00:01:37.420 Now we're gonna play 50/50, which basically means... 00:01:37.420 --> 00:01:39.660 There's gonna be a title. Alright? 00:01:39.660 --> 00:01:43.240 There's gonna be a title, one of them is gonna be something nice. 00:01:43.620 --> 00:01:46.280 Like... Cute kittens. Alright? 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:49.640 Number two is gonna be something nasty, like... 00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:51.420 "Yo mama's pooper." 00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:53.500 That's right. I know about it. 00:01:53.620 --> 00:01:54.760 *snorts heavily* 00:01:54.860 --> 00:01:56.080 So you click on the link, 00:01:56.080 --> 00:01:58.320 And we're gonna get either one of them. 00:01:58.320 --> 00:02:00.220 50/50 percent chance. 00:02:00.300 --> 00:02:02.140 So if you're not up for the challenge... 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:02.860 So if you're not up for the challenge... 00:02:03.560 --> 00:02:04.420 BITCH! 00:02:03.720 --> 00:02:04.220 BITCH! 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:06.680 Then click the fuck away... 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:09.060 And don't Flag The VI-DI-A 00:02:09.740 --> 00:02:11.060 Man, I should be a rapper, that was pretty good! 00:02:11.480 --> 00:02:14.600 Guy kicking toothpick under toenail, 00:02:13.480 --> 00:02:16.320 Or guinea pigs eating watermelon 00:02:14.600 --> 00:02:16.380 Or guinea pigs eating watermelon 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:21.360 ...Please be guinea pigs eating watermelon 00:02:22.860 --> 00:02:23.360 God 00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:25.360 Fucking dammit, why the fuck 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:27.360 Would you do that you fucking idiot 00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:33.360 *guy in video shouting "Ow!"* 00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:34.240 What did you think? 00:02:34.380 --> 00:02:37.360 What did you think was gonna happen you fuckin moron? 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:39.360 What THE fUCK IS 00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:41.100 WRONG WITH You, yoU FUCKin 00:02:41.100 --> 00:02:43.360 IdIOT? GOd DAMnit 00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:45.360 God daMMMMNIT.....Alright 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:47.360 We weren't lucky on that one 00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:49.360 50/50.... Rob Ryan 00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:51.360 Covering his wife's toes 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:53.360 With barbecue sauce, who the fuck is 00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:55.360 Rob Ryan? Like why do they expect 00:02:55.360 --> 00:02:57.360 Me to know who Rob Ryan is? Hes beautiful tho 00:02:57.360 --> 00:02:59.360 Why did I not... Holy fucking 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:01.360 Shit put this guy on a L'Oréal comercial 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:03.360 Right fucking now 00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:05.360 OR Frankenfoot 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.360 1 week after gnarly "mokoR" 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:09.360 Motorcycle accident. 00:03:09.360 --> 00:03:11.360 I feel like these are both failures. 00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:13.360 What the fuck.... 00:03:17.360 --> 00:03:19.360 It's okay you can flag the video. 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:21.360 You know what you can flag the video. 00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:23.360 Interesting water slugs 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:25.360 The wrong way to feed lions. 00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:35.360 I aint scared mmMMMM 00:03:35.360 --> 00:03:37.660 Fuck me, here we go... 00:03:40.500 --> 00:03:45.760 ♫ ♫ ♫ 00:03:46.160 --> 00:03:48.160 What the fuck 00:03:48.480 --> 00:03:51.820 What the fuck man, is he getting eaten? 00:03:52.320 --> 00:03:53.480 Lab helps boy 00:03:53.480 --> 00:03:55.360 with his bag coming home 00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:56.440 From school, 00:03:56.440 --> 00:03:57.360 alright 00:03:57.360 --> 00:03:59.360 Bad landing leads to 00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:01.360 Leg bending the wrong way 00:04:03.940 --> 00:04:05.360 come on man 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:07.360 Don't be a fucking pussy mahn 00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:09.360 Don't be a god damn- you- you with 00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:11.360 me or not 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:13.360 oh my 00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:15.360 god YEs 00:04:15.360 --> 00:04:17.360 look at that! 00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:19.360 He comes to get his boy! 00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:23.360 He gets his bag even! 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:25.360 That is the cutest thing! 00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:29.360 THAT IS AMAZInnn 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:31.360 Science has really brought 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:33.360 Us far 00:04:36.580 --> 00:04:39.300 Elephants drinking out of a pool on a terrace. 00:04:40.340 --> 00:04:41.360 Sounds lovely 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:43.360 OR cutting open a shark 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:45.800 And finding a half eaten human arm... 00:04:46.320 --> 00:04:47.360 What... 00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:49.360 the actual... 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:51.360 fuck...is that a thing? 00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:53.360 Oh, thank god this is not a shark. 00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:55.360 oooohhh 00:04:57.360 --> 00:04:59.360 The sweet satisfaction is just 00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:01.360 So good man... Hey elephants! 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:03.360 Dude what's happening 00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:05.360 That is so awesome. 00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:07.360 Where does that guy live? Fuckin 00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:09.360 Jungle is this guy Tarshian? 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:11.360 A baby in martial arts pose. 00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:13.360 And a child with a fatal 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:15.360 Cherub - I dont know what that is... 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:17.360 Fuck you. 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:23.360 What is wrong with you? 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:25.360 What the fuck is wrong with you? 00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:27.360 What the fuck is wrong with you ? 00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:29.360 What the fuck is wrong- I'm 00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:31.360 asking you, fuck you. 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:33.360 Why am I saying fuck y- fuck you Reddit 00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:35.360 What the fuck, who fucking posts 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:37.360 that shit? This is playing with your emotions. 00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:39.360 It's like a fucking rollercoaster 00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:41.360 except you feel like shit 00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:43.360 regardless, god dammit 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:45.360 you know what? 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:47.360 Let's cheer up a little bit, let's cheer up 00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:51.360 Yes, alright we're gonna 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:53.360 get adorable beavers 00:05:53.360 --> 00:05:55.360 We're gonna get adorable beavers or... 00:05:55.400 --> 00:05:57.440 extremely graphi-what the fuck 00:05:58.120 --> 00:05:58.620 00:05:58.840 --> 00:06:00.040 No way 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:03.360 Ugh I can't 00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:05.360 This is a bad idea. You know what I don't 00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:09.360 A tiger has a hamster pet 00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:10.780 00:06:10.780 --> 00:06:14.400 Strippers accidently spray diarrhea on to a client's mouth. 00:06:14.460 --> 00:06:15.360 00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:17.360 I kind of wanna see both 00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:33.360 What the fuck 00:06:34.580 --> 00:06:35.080 Come on. 00:06:36.520 --> 00:06:39.360 You still in it to win it? 00:06:39.360 --> 00:06:41.360 YeAH? You're still here? 00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:43.360 We have Anna Kourikova dancing 00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:45.360 in a yacht 00:06:46.180 --> 00:06:48.220 Or biker get's crushed by semi-truck 00:07:02.260 --> 00:07:03.180 There is a god. 00:07:03.460 --> 00:07:05.360 Crazy guy playing guitar on- 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:08.120 on Train. Or woman shoves fish up her ass 00:07:13.200 --> 00:07:14.180 Jesus 00:07:14.320 --> 00:07:17.360 We keep winning. I'm on a roll baby, *kisses fingers* I'm on a fucking roll 00:07:17.880 --> 00:07:19.360 Now let's finish this- 00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:21.360 with a perfectly grilled bratwurst. 00:07:21.620 --> 00:07:23.360 God damn it 00:07:29.160 --> 00:07:31.360 That is the worst thing that could happen. 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:33.360 Jesus. 00:07:37.360 --> 00:07:38.720 Well, this has been fun 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:40.780 Let me know if you want more of these type of videos 00:07:40.780 --> 00:07:42.400 If you do, go ahead and leave a LIKE 00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:45.360 Thank you for not flagging this video and 00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:47.360 Thank you for being... in balance...with me 00:07:47.360 --> 00:07:48.840 That's-that's right. That's what you are. 00:07:48.840 --> 00:07:49.720 And as always 00:07:50.520 --> 00:07:51.620 Stay awesome bros!!!