Sexy vegan : The reason I got "sexy vegan" tattooed on my face and my chest......
because both are great things.
I want people to know who I am instantly just looking at me.
*pewds enters* hold- hold- hold on
By that logic, you might as well tattoo "insane person" on your face!
cause THAT'S what you ARE.
(clap 2x)
*expected him to say meme review*
(amirite?)
Hello everybody, my name is *brrrrrr*
and today we are going to talk about the best YouTuber of all time.
No, I am not talking about me. I am talking about...
Sexy.
Vegan.
*cue dramatic music*
(GAZE UPON THAT FACE!!!)
He's got the blue hair,
SV: Blue eyebrows because blue is my favorite color.
My mom, she doesn't like the face tattoos, they look-
P: He's got the face tattoos
SV: My mom, she doesn't like the face tattoos
because I look like a weirdo
(you ARE a WEIRDO!)
P: He's ready to go!
SV: The reason I got "sexy vegan" tattooed on my face and my chest
is because both are
*yea boi* great things and I want people to know
*is this some superhero movie?* who I am instantly, just looking at me
These tears right here are for the suffering of
*looks like he's high AF* the over 70 billion animals
that are (what??) so smart (??) they cannot move??
yes it is
*music*
*brad and brad #2 are really good at editing*
P: First of all, that's the worst, most asymmetric star I have ever seen
It looks like a 5 year old could do a better job.
Did he do these tattoos himself?
Like-
SV: Star is super star that I am going to achieve and for pleasure.
AND it's for PLEASURE (eyebrow wiggle) *pewds laughs about sexy vegan*
It's the star that
I am going to achieve
AND for PLEASURE
SV: My mom, she doesn't like the
Face tattoos, I looked like a weirdo (you are, you dummy)
WHAT! *spagett intensifies*
*pewds snickers*
How d a r e your mom say that
and, may I say, you look Fantastic in blue, I'm rocking blue as well
It's the best colour to wear,
Clearly,
Finally,
Someone is strong enough
To speak out on these issues, stupid moms.
(Mocking) Don't let me dance
naked on the street!
SV: They make movie stars,
like Tom Cruise, but now with the face tattoos,
I'm more distinct.
I'm gonna be myself
and people have to like me for me
and that's all there is to it
(Dramatic) I'm NOT gonna CONFORM!
*more sexy nakey dance*
P: Oh, my God, he is LITERALLY me
Ahehehahaha
An exaggeration of all and my entire being ahahah
Dr. Phil: Well, Raquel says her older brother Sexy
has been banned for life from YouTube and Craigslist, (uh oh)
thinks he's on par with God-
P: Wait *gibberish* is Dr. Phil talking about me right now or what's
happening? This is-
Okay, so, Sexy Vegan has a YouTube channel, apparently, uh, you upload
one video on YouTube and you qua- qual- qualify as a- as a YouTuber (TM)
SV: I got sooo fuckin' angry earlier
'Cause I was uh- I was in Fronthide (?) for a little bit
but it wasn't really going so-
*CLICKS TONGUE*
P: Hey, guys, welcome to my new
uh, update vlog, just uh,
got SOOO anGRY earliER!
*CLICKS TONGUE* CLEARLY, we have a lot to learn from Sexy Vegan
on how to do YouTube properly.
The stylistic choice of filming it in the wrong aspect ratio...
People just don't do
these bold moves anymore! He's not conforming, guys, this is it, this is a
quintessential YouTuber (TM) of all time.
Dr. Phil: There's even tattooed his face-
P: How are we not, talking, about, the eyebrows
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, nooooooooooo
Odd Sister: For the record, I don't call my brother"Sexy," I call him "SV."
P: Wait.
*long pause*
What is "SV?"
SIMPLY, a term for sandy vagina
DAMN, she's a savage
Becky: Last year, my brother looked like this handsome guy
but when I've seen his recent transformation-
P: He transformed from a dog!
Susan: I described my brother as lazy, unmotivated, crazy
(Law & Order boom) He is a danger to the public.
P: Damn.... That edit really makes it so intense
(Law & Order boom) Have you guys heard of PewDiePie? He is a danger to all the ethnicities
Rebecca: My mother has two rules for my brother:
don't get arrested,
don't do drugs (kids)...
He can't seem to follow either of them.
P: I feel like everyone knows some person like this to some
extent, just this kid that was WAY too spoiled as a child and just problematic
and no one really wanted to deal with it, so just kept giving him whatever he
wants, and then it's just turned into this monster. It's wonderful.
I love this; I live for this.
Sooo Sexy Vegan or Hans de Bartolo also wrote a
book, uh, called- before his transformation- called "The Adventures of Fargo Lefty"
"Meet Fargo Lefty! Fargo is a handsome, young, vegan writer in his mid-20's who
comes from a wealthy family and lives in his own home his dad bought him.
Fargo has some very cool vegan friends. One is a rich drug-" Honestly I kind of want to read this.
SV: My name is Sexy Vegan, got my name legally changed to Sexy Vegan.
"Hans" no longer fits me.
P: I think it's a really good move to change your name to Sexy Vegan
and especially tattooing it on your face ESPECIALLY if you haven't
already in the past three years change identity three or four times from Hans
DeBartolo to vegan Hans to sexy vegan Justin Beiber Charlie Sheen project yeah
so you can follow his whole transformation online it's all there and
it's there was the saddest thing I've ever seen and also hilarious but also
hilarious so I once was down to 1.3 percent body
fat
when I go out everyone stares at me because I wear a speedo esque outfit and
I'm exotic like a Lamborghini SV I love walking around my speedos because
putting clothes on is like putting a tarp over a Lamborghini which makes no sense
"and I get $#*! for that all the time" it just doesn't make sense that people don't
want to see my naked body because why wouldn't people see in Lamborghini my
logic is 100% flawless and I just get $#*! for that all the time
when I go into a grocery store [..] followed around by the security which is so
annoying what is this lines I've watched a lot of
his videos he speaks so differently here that all the time it's like the
producers are just saying like hey can you sound more angry wearing my speedo
security will come up and they'll say sir you have to dress more and I'll be
like "well a hot chick could wear this outfit"
S- Sorry. Excuse me, sorry, sexy vegan..
your logic is always flawless and I don't mean to impose,
but I don't think women can go around wearing that. That's what a Normie would say
Finally we have someone brave like sexy vegan that isn't afraid to talk about
controversial topics like sexism and then how it just doesn't unfavored women
and unfavored menace we're okay why can't girls go around topless with their
nipples X boats and guys can't it's total black shit so I get kicked out of
so many stores I've been arrested 15 times 15 I can make it on my talents I
have several YouTube videos I've been kicked off a YouTube channel I got
terminated for over sexual strikes he's you're wondering what kind of diet this
man is on he made a video and it's the most repulsive thing is like these fake
fish patties with vegenaise on it and to be fair vegenaise
this is actually really good all right don't not get unless you try it but man
he's really good tastes just as good as damn and I actually agree with him yeah
all he eats is crispy chicken and fishless fillets and he doesn't even
cook them he microwaved them why do I care about if someone else is done the
main problem is my mom she does not believe in me she's very pessimistic
right you get the point six of vegan it's have a problem with his mom and his
family he goes to dr. Phil and finally he appears in dr. Phil and this is the
result the beautiful vegan Messiah it's a song I didn't say was who knows it I
was just like my dad okay ten luxury cars my dad told me I had the same name
as him until I legally changed it my mom did not bail me out gentlemen she knew I
was innocent
what is he saying I call it it's not a song my dad I have the same name s he
had ten cars and my mom did not bail me out of jail
I'm liberating over 70 billion pigs and cages so small that cannot move for
years okay I work my mom's a sociopathic piece of I have the high score in
hot-or-not history I got a nine point nine out of ten after 327 women rated me
let's see your channel hundred that's a lot of wind town you ugly piece up okay
stop Hey Hey look at me what do they do it's working a dr. Phil I got a nine
point nine ten up to 327 women rated me likes your talent what kind of town do
you have come out here and use that kind of language in front of my audience an
audience I apologize that is childish and immature behavior and yes you do no
don't let the door hit you in the ass I didn't realize doctor such a gangster so
then a gay couple months later he returns to apologize to dr. Phil for his
crimes of twerking on stage my parents are dr.
Phil was a total disaster a lost a lost opportunity the way I behaved was wrong
my mom's a sociopathic piece of my biggest regret is yelling at dr. Phil
you look at me yeah I agree if I had those face tattoos my biggest
regret would also be yelling at dr. Phil definitely that would I totally
understand how that is your biggest regret 100% and not your face tattoos
you only a dr. Phil that's like a hundred times worse okay so I'm glad we
got that out of the way cuz I was worried he wasn't gonna acknowledge it I
hated seeing myself you helped my mom I mean
my mom I disrespect everyone I was I was I was I said a different strokes for
different folks one of my songs inspired by dr. feels different strokes for
different folks different strokes for different folks he said on the show and
stuff oh really what an originalist song what he he
really used to me isn't he just steals everything
the answer is everyone's different do what you do as long as you're not
harming anyone animals and insects - I'm really sorry
what's the pastime nice for you to forgive me an Emmy bag we'll have a seat
thank you sir I'm glad to have you back so you we
don't need to see the rest you kind of get the idea
dr filiz like well if you care about animals I love animals so that means you
know that bad of a guy and that kind of heart has got to be a good guy at the
core beside you know you guys should check out sexy vegan YouTube channel he
definitely needs more subscribers because I feel like he's ego is just not
big enough that he could really benefit from some more social media following I
think that could definitely be the best thing for him right now and not getting
some actual psychiatric help from experts like dr. Phil for example anyway
that's it for me leave a like if you enjoyed this video and remember to be
vegan and sexy like me what the fuck's out outro Jesus
I'm done with this pass to make the Edgar