WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:04.500 --> 00:00:07.960 *Flashback* Youtube has a problem. That I absolutely hate. 00:00:07.960 --> 00:00:09.680 Which is Drama 00:00:09.680 --> 00:00:14.180 I cant think of anything more stupid to waste your time on... [eerie echo] 00:00:17.400 --> 00:00:18.680 At-a-ta-ta-ta-ta (Probably a Pokemon...) 00:00:20.420 --> 00:00:20.920 No. 00:00:20.920 --> 00:00:22.920 Couldn't have been more wrong. 00:00:22.920 --> 00:00:23.420 I take it all back 00:00:24.420 --> 00:00:26.120 I changed my mind, damnit! 00:00:26.120 --> 00:00:29.260 What do people on YouTube want more than anything? 00:00:29.260 --> 00:00:32.360 Creative, original content? 00:00:33.160 --> 00:00:35.240 No, fuck that! They want views, damnit! 00:00:35.260 --> 00:00:39.380 And I think you know where I'm going with this. What gets views more than anything? 00:00:42.120 --> 00:00:43.000 Thats right... 00:00:43.940 --> 00:00:44.860 Drama. 00:00:44.860 --> 00:00:47.840 *Flashback* Youtube has a problem that I absolutely hate. 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:48.880 Which is drama[Echos] 00:00:49.340 --> 00:00:51.340 How could I have been so wrong? 00:00:51.660 --> 00:00:55.460 You know, I watched that video and it... disgustin'. 00:00:55.640 --> 00:01:00.580 Now you've probably seen some drama going on from one Youtuber to another.. 00:01:01.440 --> 00:01:03.140 (Youtuber 1) "Hey I dont like your- I dont like you" 00:01:03.140 --> 00:01:06.400 (Youtuber 2) "No... Oh... Oh I'm gonna roast ya" 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:11.400 And then they roast back, and then the views... the views just go back and forth 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:13.400 Like a tennis ball- *Gains crippling depression* Why a tennis ball? 00:01:13.400 --> 00:01:15.400 The monster feeds itself. 00:01:16.200 --> 00:01:19.400 Listen. Me. I. 00:01:19.400 --> 00:01:23.000 Aren't gonna just start some pity drama on some other shitty YouTuber. 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:25.000 Anyone could fucking do that. 00:01:25.260 --> 00:01:28.300 Okay? I'm going to start drama with EVERYONE! 00:01:28.580 --> 00:01:31.120 All the YouTubers you like, fuck 'em! 00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:37.340 I'm gonna make them feel so bad, so shitty, that they're gonna-they're gonna make a "The PewDiePie Rant" video! 00:01:37.600 --> 00:01:42.160 Hopefully... And then FINALLY, I'll be relevant. Here we go. 00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:43.000 Five *dramatic music-ish* 00:01:44.100 --> 00:01:44.900 Four *more dramatic music* 00:01:46.120 --> 00:01:46.700 Three *MORE dramatic music* 00:01:48.080 --> 00:01:48.700 Two *even more dramatic music* 00:01:50.140 --> 00:01:50.800 One *last dramatic music part thing* 00:01:51.020 --> 00:01:51.860 [Victim #1] CinnamonToastKen... 00:01:52.360 --> 00:01:52.860 Fat. 00:01:53.320 --> 00:01:53.820 [Victim #2] Scarce... 00:01:54.320 --> 00:01:54.820 Fat. 00:01:54.960 --> 00:01:55.460 [Victim #3] Cry... 00:01:55.940 --> 00:01:56.440 Probably fat... 00:01:56.900 --> 00:01:58.680 I'm not gonna have any friends after this... *laughs* 00:01:59.140 --> 00:02:00.100 [Victim #4] Jacksepticeye... 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:01.840 Irish cunt. 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:04.620 [Victim #5] RiceGum... 00:02:06.040 --> 00:02:07.040 North Korean cunt. 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:08.080 [Victim #6] iDewbbbz...(IDubbbz) 00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:09.740 25 and balding. 00:02:09.920 --> 00:02:10.440 [Victim #7] KSI... 00:02:10.440 --> 00:02:11.820 Triggered by anything. 00:02:11.820 --> 00:02:12.960 [Victim #8] Ryanna[Rihanna] Vevo... 00:02:13.200 --> 00:02:13.760 Ugly. 00:02:13.760 --> 00:02:17.180 [Victims #9 & #10] Dan and Phil. Are they dating? No, we won't fucking tell you. 00:02:17.180 --> 00:02:18.880 Fuck you, you'll never know. 00:02:18.920 --> 00:02:20.960 [Victim #11] Edgar... Worst fucking dog. 00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:24.800 [Victim #12] SeaNanners... I laugh at everything... *depressed SeaNanners* as long as it gives me views... 00:02:25.260 --> 00:02:28.720 [Victim #13.. Hold on, same guy! Shit!] SeaNanners... I'll laugh at anything to hide that I'm unfunny. 00:02:28.920 --> 00:02:29.660 [Victim #13] Shane Dawson... 00:02:29.960 --> 00:02:31.280 Wishes he could come out twice. 00:02:31.800 --> 00:02:32.300 [Victim #14] JacksFilms... 00:02:32.580 --> 00:02:33.080 Gay vibes. 00:02:33.380 --> 00:02:33.880 [Victim #15] Taylor Swift... 00:02:33.880 --> 00:02:34.380 Ugly. 00:02:34.720 --> 00:02:35.340 [Victim #16] FouseyTUBE... 00:02:35.340 --> 00:02:37.400 Worst channel on YouTube. *laughs* 00:02:37.820 --> 00:02:38.880 [Victim #17] SkyDoesMinecraft... 00:02:39.580 --> 00:02:41.420 Definitely still enjoying Minecraft. 00:02:41.820 --> 00:02:42.680 [Victim #18] DanTDM... 00:02:43.840 --> 00:02:45.760 Definitely still enjoying Minecraft. 00:02:46.120 --> 00:02:47.020 [Victim #19] KickThePJ... 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:48.940 Needs to be kicked!? 00:02:49.320 --> 00:02:50.400 [Victim #20] Markiplier... 00:02:50.940 --> 00:02:51.680 Cry baby. 00:02:51.920 --> 00:02:53.200 [Victim #21] H3H3... 00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:54.980 Too many chins. 00:02:55.020 --> 00:02:56.040 [Victim #22] EgoRaptor... 00:02:56.040 --> 00:02:57.060 Too many chins. 00:02:57.220 --> 00:02:57.860 [Victim #23] Leafy... 00:02:58.340 --> 00:03:00.560 Chin implants... think about it. 00:03:00.940 --> 00:03:02.700 Oh, I could go all night son. 00:03:03.300 --> 00:03:05.080 I could go all night. 00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:07.440 [Victim #24] EmmaBlackery... 00:03:07.460 --> 00:03:10.720 More like, "Emma-boo-hoo-my-life-is so-hard-ery" 00:03:10.720 --> 00:03:11.960 [Victim #25] Dillon The Hacker... 00:03:11.960 --> 00:03:13.980 Can't even fucking hack. 00:03:14.100 --> 00:03:14.600 [Victim #26] RomanAtwood... 00:03:14.660 --> 00:03:16.340 Quality content. 00:03:16.740 --> 00:03:17.780 [Victim #27] JennaMarbles... 00:03:17.780 --> 00:03:22.500 More like "I am ten times hotter in a lot of my profile pictures than I really am." 00:03:22.580 --> 00:03:23.500 [Victim?? #28] KEEMSTAR!!! 00:03:23.700 --> 00:03:26.920 He's a nice fellow. He's a nice ... fellow. 00:03:26.920 --> 00:03:27.720 [Victim #29] Lilly Singh...(IISuperWomanII) 00:03:27.720 --> 00:03:29.740 The definition of trying too hard. 00:03:29.740 --> 00:03:30.720 [Victim #30] FilthyFrank... 00:03:30.720 --> 00:03:32.760 I love him. *laughs* 00:03:32.760 --> 00:03:33.380 [Victim #31] Philly D... (Philip DeFranco) 00:03:33.500 --> 00:03:36.620 Oh yeah, I've been on YouTube longer than you, so you can fuck off. 00:03:37.100 --> 00:03:38.180 [Victim #32] Toby Turner... 00:03:38.180 --> 00:03:39.100 Drug issue. 00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:40.240 [Victim #33] Marina Joyce... 00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:41.700 Drug ... issue. 00:03:41.700 --> 00:03:42.360 Who said that?! 00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:43.800 Who said that?! 00:03:44.460 --> 00:03:45.500 [Victim #34] videogamedunkey... 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:46.800 Not... black. 00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:47.860 [Victim #35] Zoella... 00:03:47.860 --> 00:03:53.080 The worst content I've seen, but still ... doing pretty well. That's pretty good. 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:54.660 [Victim #36] Casey Neistat... 00:03:54.660 --> 00:03:57.360 The only person on YouTube with a bigger nose than I have. 00:03:57.360 --> 00:04:00.280 [Victim #37] "Hey I'm Boogie (boogie2988) and I wanna be everyones friend." 00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:01.100 [Victim #38] FaZe Clan... 00:04:01.100 --> 00:04:03.340 Almost as relevant as Call Of Duty. 00:04:03.340 --> 00:04:04.300 [Victim #39] Syndicate... (TheSyndicateProject) 00:04:04.480 --> 00:04:08.960 Made the slimiest move on Youtube that I've ever seen and somehow still making videos. 00:04:09.160 --> 00:04:10.420 [Victim #40] Kwebbelkop... 00:04:10.420 --> 00:04:12.200 Head almost big as ego. 00:04:12.340 --> 00:04:13.880 [Victim #41] Hillary Clinton... 00:04:13.880 --> 00:04:14.920 Dying. 00:04:14.920 --> 00:04:16.020 [Victim #42] YouTube... 00:04:16.020 --> 00:04:17.400 Dying. 00:04:17.400 --> 00:04:19.300 PewDiePie, wish I was. *exits dramaticly* 00:04:21.980 --> 00:04:24.060 Was that a good - was that a good exit? 00:04:24.060 --> 00:04:25.420 I ... got 'em good didn't I? 00:04:25.420 --> 00:04:29.860 I can't wait for all the drama. I can't wait for all the dr-views. 00:04:29.860 --> 00:04:32.560 Oh boy. I roasted them hard. 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:33.820 I'm just gonna sit back here. 00:04:33.820 --> 00:04:36.620 Don't forget to check out my Patreon, link is in the description. 00:04:36.620 --> 00:04:41.680 Thank you so much for watching, leave a like because all the fans, are gonna hate on me now. 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:46.640 So I need you to leave a like to protect me and not just because I want more likes. Okay?