WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.500 --> 00:00:01.240 YouTube tips 00:00:01.620 --> 00:00:03.320 The first 15 seconds 00:00:03.900 --> 00:00:06.600 Make compelling content first 00:00:06.820 --> 00:00:08.400 *Silent fart* 00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:09.440 Aw, shiet. 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:12.740 Start off with something that will immediately grab attention. 00:00:14.280 --> 00:00:16.440 TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES! 00:00:16.560 --> 00:00:17.840 WHAT IS UUUUPPPP!! 00:00:17.840 --> 00:00:19.580 Michal, Vsauce here. 00:00:19.700 --> 00:00:20.420 *Eardrum bleeding* 00:00:21.240 --> 00:00:26.460 *Eardrum bleeding* 00:00:26.460 --> 00:00:26.960 *Eardrum bleeding* 00:00:27.540 --> 00:00:29.020 *Eardrum bleeding* 00:00:29.700 --> 00:00:35.340 Make it clear what your videos about 00:00:35.660 --> 00:00:38.080 I don't even know what this video is going to be about. 00:00:38.080 --> 00:00:40.740 I never know what the video is (stutter/laugh) going to be about 00:00:40.740 --> 00:00:41.300 Uhh.... 00:00:41.400 --> 00:00:41.960 *snapping* 00:00:42.080 --> 00:00:42.580 *snapping* 00:00:42.580 --> 00:00:43.080 *snapping* 00:00:43.400 --> 00:00:45.880 this video is about watchtime 00:00:49.640 --> 00:00:54.040 tease the rest of the video so the audience is intrigued to see where you take them 00:00:54.040 --> 00:00:57.340 SEXY PAPA PEWDS: I'ma take you out for the best time of your god damned life 00:00:57.340 --> 00:01:01.140 you've clicked videos before, but you have not clicked this video 00:01:01.220 --> 00:01:02.520 look in my eyes 00:01:02.860 --> 00:01:05.580 and tell me that you will never click away 00:01:05.580 --> 00:01:07.420 I'm gonna make you feel nice 00:01:07.420 --> 00:01:08.900 I'ma feel, make you feel safe 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:10.040 00:01:10.040 --> 00:01:12.800 I'm going to touch you like no other person has touch- (Ou shit :0) 00:01:12.800 --> 00:01:13.340 can I say that? 00:01:13.340 --> 00:01:15.080 Share your channel branding later 00:01:15.080 --> 00:01:18.760 A flashy intro may look cool, but it´s not the star of the video 00:01:18.760 --> 00:01:20.780 Goddamit!, I need a flash intro 00:01:20.780 --> 00:01:22.780 Que the flash Intro, you son of a bitch! 00:01:22.780 --> 00:01:25.180 *DEAFINATOR X3000* 00:01:25.180 --> 00:01:26.760 00:01:26.760 --> 00:01:28.220 Fuck yeah! That was a goood intro 00:01:28.220 --> 00:01:30.720 Well, this YouTube blog is really informative 00:01:30.860 --> 00:01:33.260 It teaches youtubers how to get better, 00:01:33.260 --> 00:01:35.340 How come there's nothing about watchtime? 00:01:36.800 --> 00:01:38.160 Can't even espel it 00:01:38.580 --> 00:01:40.260 What do u mean watch time, Pewdiepie? 00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:41.600 *farting noises* 00:01:41.960 --> 00:01:46.500 So for those who don't know. Watchtime is YouTube's ne-new lil baby 00:01:46.600 --> 00:01:47.240 is like 00:01:47.240 --> 00:01:47.940 FUCK VIEWS 00:01:48.380 --> 00:01:49.800 00:01:49.800 --> 00:01:53.160 00:01:53.420 --> 00:01:56.040 00:01:56.040 --> 00:01:56.580 00:01:57.060 --> 00:01:58.440 00:01:58.880 --> 00:02:01.320 00:02:01.320 --> 00:02:03.320 00:02:03.320 --> 00:02:04.640 00:02:04.920 --> 00:02:09.220 00:02:09.620 --> 00:02:10.420 00:02:10.640 --> 00:02:13.020 00:02:13.020 --> 00:02:15.200 00:02:16.020 --> 00:02:18.260 00:02:18.260 --> 00:02:21.520 00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:24.320 00:02:24.320 --> 00:02:26.400 00:02:26.980 --> 00:02:28.260 00:02:28.260 --> 00:02:29.780 00:02:30.220 --> 00:02:31.660 00:02:33.380 --> 00:02:35.740 00:02:35.740 --> 00:02:41.060 00:02:41.060 --> 00:02:43.980 00:02:44.240 --> 00:02:46.300 00:02:46.300 --> 00:02:48.780 00:02:49.020 --> 00:02:49.960 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:53.340 00:02:53.340 --> 00:02:56.440 00:02:56.680 --> 00:02:58.100 00:02:58.100 --> 00:02:58.960 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:04.840 00:03:04.840 --> 00:03:05.760 00:03:06.100 --> 00:03:06.740 00:03:06.740 --> 00:03:08.460 00:03:08.460 --> 00:03:09.960 00:03:09.960 --> 00:03:16.680 00:03:17.040 --> 00:03:18.560 00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:19.400 00:03:19.440 --> 00:03:22.160 00:03:22.160 --> 00:03:23.480 00:03:23.480 --> 00:03:24.840 00:03:24.840 --> 00:03:32.520 00:03:32.660 --> 00:03:35.860 Noo YES! OH IT'S MEEEEE AGAIN! 00:03:35.860 --> 00:03:38.280 00:03:38.280 --> 00:03:40.160 00:03:40.160 --> 00:03:42.920 00:03:42.920 --> 00:03:47.300 00:03:47.300 --> 00:03:49.180 00:03:49.180 --> 00:03:53.240 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:55.860 00:03:55.860 --> 00:03:57.620 00:03:57.620 --> 00:04:03.940 00:04:03.940 --> 00:04:05.000 00:04:05.100 --> 00:04:06.020 00:04:06.020 --> 00:04:07.540 00:04:07.540 --> 00:04:10.660 00:04:10.660 --> 00:04:11.780 00:04:11.780 --> 00:04:12.660 00:04:12.660 --> 00:04:16.780 00:04:16.900 --> 00:04:23.160 00:04:23.260 --> 00:04:26.700 00:04:26.700 --> 00:04:32.320 00:04:32.320 --> 00:04:35.140 00:04:35.140 --> 00:04:37.460 00:04:37.460 --> 00:04:38.640 00:04:38.640 --> 00:04:40.000 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:41.260 00:04:41.260 --> 00:04:43.500 00:04:43.500 --> 00:04:49.960 00:04:50.060 --> 00:04:50.940 00:04:50.940 --> 00:04:52.020 00:04:52.020 --> 00:04:56.440 00:04:56.440 --> 00:04:59.640 Hai guys I want to be included 00:04:59.640 --> 00:05:01.160 00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:01.880 00:05:01.880 --> 00:05:03.300 00:05:03.300 --> 00:05:07.820 00:05:07.820 --> 00:05:11.620 00:05:12.200 --> 00:05:13.400 00:05:13.400 --> 00:05:17.560 00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:21.820 00:05:21.820 --> 00:05:27.460 00:05:27.460 --> 00:05:30.120 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:31.240 00:05:31.240 --> 00:05:38.060 Talking about Youtube, technicalities. 00:05:38.060 --> 00:05:39.700 00:05:39.700 --> 00:05:41.580 00:05:41.580 --> 00:05:43.540 To that one special person who saw this.... Thank you senpai. :,) 00:05:43.540 --> 00:05:44.960 00:05:44.960 --> 00:05:47.760 00:05:47.760 --> 00:05:49.240 00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:54.520 00:05:55.740 --> 00:05:57.100 00:05:58.460 --> 00:05:58.960 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:00.180 00:06:02.380 --> 00:06:05.900 00:06:06.820 --> 00:06:08.580 00:06:09.300 --> 00:06:10.200 00:06:11.500 --> 00:06:13.660 00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:19.120 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:20.300 00:06:20.840 --> 00:06:25.960 00:06:26.180 --> 00:06:29.380 00:06:29.380 --> 00:06:37.860 00:06:37.860 --> 00:06:40.920 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:42.360 00:06:42.360 --> 00:06:43.980 00:06:44.140 --> 00:06:45.180 00:06:46.040 --> 00:06:51.320 He's going to leave. 00:06:51.320 --> 00:06:54.580 Fakeout. 00:06:54.580 --> 00:07:00.020 fuck you. I need this video to be ten minutes 00:07:00.020 --> 00:07:08.800 I'm a go play pokemon go. Go go. and Go as in take a shit, so he's going to triple go! Mind blown. 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:15.400 but you are moving... 00:07:15.940 --> 00:07:16.740 Why ten? 00:07:17.140 --> 00:07:18.420 No you won't... 00:07:19.200 --> 00:07:20.900 Just skip to the end nothing happens. 00:07:20.900 --> 00:07:22.080 HAIII GUYS 00:07:22.080 --> 00:07:22.880 *Door shutting 00:07:24.620 --> 00:07:25.760 *Cough Cough* 00:07:26.320 --> 00:07:27.280 Hi. 00:07:27.760 --> 00:07:30.940 Hi! -subtitler illuminati 00:07:31.520 --> 00:07:32.320 How are you? 00:07:33.020 --> 00:07:35.780 good thank you. 00:07:36.320 --> 00:07:38.040 Not much of a talker huh? 00:07:40.580 --> 00:07:42.580 What do you mean I said hi! 00:07:42.580 --> 00:07:44.160 Subscribe to youtube.com/arina86 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:46.840 Nice to meet you eh? My name is caption. 00:07:48.740 --> 00:07:49.640 Uh... 00:07:51.480 --> 00:07:53.480 Pewds is hilarious. We know that. 00:07:54.260 --> 00:07:56.260 ... 00:07:57.040 --> 00:07:59.040 And in it for the money. 00:08:00.380 --> 00:08:02.380 But I thought I might share something with you. 00:08:04.320 --> 00:08:06.320 y'all should follow my insta 00:08:07.100 --> 00:08:08.160 @natalieolivia12 00:08:12.940 --> 00:08:14.300 ... 00:08:15.420 --> 00:08:19.780 I wonder what kind of statement pewds made with that... Much social commentary, wow. 00:08:20.760 --> 00:08:21.680 ... 00:08:22.840 --> 00:08:25.500 Anyways, I'm glad to have spent this time with you. 00:08:27.180 --> 00:08:29.180 I don't understand any of this watchtime stuff... 00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:33.860 Nor why there are so many Non-English subtitles in an English caption track... 00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:37.440 #MakeAmericaGreatAgain 00:08:39.220 --> 00:08:41.880 Hahaha, JK, I don't give a shit about politics. 00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:46.960 Well, kind of. I wouldn't want Clinton to win to be honest. (no offense to all Clinton supporters) 00:08:48.040 --> 00:08:51.860 Who cares, We are so much more than an elitist's struggle for control with other elitists. 00:08:53.820 --> 00:08:58.320 So much political non-sense these days while bad people get away with stomping on the good... 00:08:59.900 --> 00:09:01.900 One day we will rise... 00:09:03.500 --> 00:09:05.500 my goats like it when i tickle their belly button. 00:09:05.500 --> 00:09:07.500 i also put my wee wee i their belly button sometimes. I LOVE MY LIFE 00:09:07.560 --> 00:09:09.560 Sorry, I got distracted... 00:09:11.340 --> 00:09:13.340 ... 00:09:14.980 --> 00:09:16.980 Be safe out there alright? 00:09:18.940 --> 00:09:20.940 Friend? 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:25.080 Will you be my friend? 00:09:26.780 --> 00:09:28.780 I think we can be friends... 00:09:30.700 --> 00:09:34.300 I got your back and you got mine even if we've never met. 00:09:36.260 --> 00:09:39.160 It's funny because we may never meet... 00:09:40.580 --> 00:09:43.500 Or we might... But we'll never know who any of us actually are... 00:09:45.100 --> 00:09:47.820 We all develop these internet personalities and identities... 00:09:47.820 --> 00:09:51.240 But most of the time those are like our secret little lives... 00:09:51.240 --> 00:09:55.300 HAHA, it is i! the evil subtitle changer!. Ok look im sorry but this subtitle was just a link ok? Dont get mad over it, and hey change it all you want after this. Also hey wanna hear a joke? ok so why can't dinosaurs talk? because their all dead! haha, hilarious right? No? well im just gonna sit here in silence then *sits in silence* 00:09:55.300 --> 00:09:57.300 Watch out... And Goodbye my friend... 00:09:57.300 --> 00:09:59.300 Pito will ruin the world, pay attention 7u7