WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: fil

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Tips ng Youtube :-)

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sa unang 15 seconds

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gumawa ng nakakahimok na laman

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*sigh*

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aw shit.

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magsimula sa mga bagay na mabibigyang atensyon agad

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*handa ng sampalin ang camera*

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TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES!

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WHAT IS UPPPPPPPPPP!

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Michael, Vsauce here!

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DRAMA ALEEEERTTTT (HEY GUYS CINNAMONTOASTKEN HERE)

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HOW'S IT GOIN' BROS?!

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*hindi ko na maintindihan, TANGINA*

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LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT! (THAT GMM REFERENCE THO) :-)

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Dapat malinaw ang tungkol sa video noong simula pa lamang

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para hindi nakakalito ang mga nanonood sa video na pinapanood nila

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Hindi ko alam ang mangyayari sa videong ito.

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HINDI KO talaga alam ang mangyayari sa video.

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uhhhh... *does random movements*

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Ang video na 'to ay tungkol sa WATCHTIME!

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*boses ni Keemstar (jusko)* Lets get riiiiiiiiiiight into the news!

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I-tease ang video

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para ma-intriga ang mga nanonood kung saan mo sila dadalhin.

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Ilalabas kita

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para sa da best na oras ng iyong buhay
*sub writer: PEWDS WAG KA GANYAN >.< *

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nagpindot ka ng videos dati,

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pero hindi mo pa napindot ang videong ito
*sub writer: nagawa ko na 'tol*

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tumingin ka sa mga mata ko
*SHET ANG GANDA NG MATA NIYA OMG*

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at sabihin mo sakin hindi ka pipindot kahit saan man.

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*bes, inom ka ng tubig, nauuhaw ka yata*

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*shet*

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*shet*

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*shet*
*sub writer: HINAY-HINAY LANG TOL*

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Pwede ko bang sabihin yun?

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Mamaya mo na ipakita ang iyong channel branding.

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Cool naman ang flashy intro,

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pero HINDI ito ang star ng video.

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KAILANGAN KO NG FLASHY INTRO?!

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TANGINA! I-que ang flashy intro!

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*ANAK NG TINAPA, MASAKIT SA TENGA*

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Fuck yeah, ang ganda ng intro!

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Wow! Ang daming tinuturo nitong YouTube blog na ito!

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Tinuturuan nito ang mga YouTubers para mas gumaling pa sila,

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pero bakit walang tungkol sa Watchtime? .-.

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*galing ng spelling mo 'tol*

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hindi ko ma i-spell-

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Anong ba yung WatchTime Pewdiepie?

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*cringy sound*

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Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, ang WatchTime ay ang YouTube's-

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bagong sanggol (luh).

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Ito'y parang, "Fuck views, WatchTime is where it's at"

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kailangan merong mga nanonood na mga video mo hangga't maaari

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makakuha kang mas maraming promotion, mas maraming manonood

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mas magandang patalastas, at mas maraming pera *EDI WOW*

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WatchTime, is the FUCKING BOMB!

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Kung gusto mong makarating sa YouTube ngayon,

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gumawa ka lang ng mahahabang videos
*hangga't magsawa ka*

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Fuck any type of pacing, quality, a-none of that!

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Fuck that!

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Get out!

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Get the fuck out quality!

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I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! I DON'T WANT YOU! Get-

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I-I never had to say that *SHET ANG CUTE NG TAWA NIYA*

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Kung gusto mo makarating sa YouTube ngayon, kailangan mo ng WatchTime

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at kung wala kang alam tungkol sa WatchTime,

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It's basically - gumawa ka lang na mahabang videos 
*oo, hangga't magsawa ka*

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fuck editing them,

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fuck having any kind of pacing,

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Slam it all out there!

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SLAAAAAAMMM IT!

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WatchTime, makakakuha ka ng promotion

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it'll make you a bomb ass YouTuber,

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at makakabili ka na ng Lamborghini mo sa wakas!

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You're welcome for the tips! (salamat, pewds)

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bakit hindi sinabi ng YouTube ito sa kanilang vlblgog
*sub writer: blog?!*

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Wala talagang tungkol dito!

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NALAMAN KO LANG 'TO NOONG NAKARAANG LINGGO YOUTUBE!! WHAT THE HELL?!?

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Namamatay na pala ang channel ko dati pa, bakit walang nagsabi nito sa akin?
*DUN DUN DUN*

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Alam mong gagawin ko kahit ano YouTube?

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Bakit walang nagsabi sa akin nito?

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What!? Ayaw niyo maniwala sa akin? Tingnan natin.

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alright? alright! SHH! SHHHH, SHHHH!

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tingna-tingnan natin. Shut the fuck up about my glasses, alright?! (I LUV ZE GLASSES PEWDIEPIE)

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puntahan natin yung YouTube gaming.

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no-no-no-nooo! hindi yan. Walang gumagamit diyan.

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Puntaha-puntahan natin yung YouTube gaming channel.

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Ngayon, bibilangin natin yung mga videos

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dun sa YouTube gaming promotion page.

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na less than 10 minutes

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alright? K.

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no...no..no.. oh! merong isa!

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Ay wait! Video ko pala 'to, MY SHITTY VIDEO!

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okay well...no..no..no..no..no..no.

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nooo, hindi ko pinanood yan...hindi ko talaga pinanood yan... *wehhhhh*

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no, YES! Oh-IT'S ME AGAIN!!!

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no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no YES! OH SHIT IT'S ME AGAIN!!

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Yung mga videos na 10 minutes o higit pa ay pinagbabawal ng YouTube dati.

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alright? Naaalala ko pa nung uso yun dati.

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Kailangan mong mag-unlock ng "special features" para lang magawa mo yun

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ngayon gusto ng YouTube na mag-upload  ka na mas higit pa sa 10 minutes!

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at hindi nila sinabi ito sa akin!

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kung yung videos mo ay mas higit pa sa 10 minutes ibig sabihin pwede kang maglagay ng mas magandang ads,

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pwede kang maglagay ng ads sa video

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at makakakuha ka ng mas maraming pera

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at alam mo? Hindi ako mag-shashame kahit kanino para diyan, gagawin ko rin naman yun eh

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kung kaya ko makapag-salita ng 10 minutes, pero masyadong mahaba naman ang 10 minutes.

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Thank You Very Much. I already wanna do anything else but being here, *cries*

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TRUST ME. I feel the same way.

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Ngayon, kung mapapansin mo, yung channel ng mga ibang tao,

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makikita mo, they're barely hitting the limit

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tapos makikita mo na biglang nagbago sila at a certain point.

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Alright where is it? 3 minutes lang mga video nila.

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and then nung na-realize nila, "fuck I need more ad-ad revenue!!"

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4 na buwan ang nakalipas. They're all ten now.

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They're all ten now baby!

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Don't you worry about it. I'm gonna come back to this!

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Eto, hindi ako nanghihiya ng kahit sino man,

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alright, gagawin ko in yun kung MAY NAGSABI SA AKIN!

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DUN SA YOUTUBE BLOG. NA-IFOLLOW KO YUN WITH EVERY DETAIL!

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GODDAMN IT!

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at ginagawa ito ng lahat...

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Alright? Nag-joke ako tungkol dito dati tapos naging super-passive-aggressive lahat sa akin

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Like, "Meron akong pamilya na sinusuportahan pewds, you got a prob- a fucking problem with that"

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Gumawa ka ng sariling videos mo, wala akong pake, wala akong pake. Wag mo ng i-dahilan yun sa akin.

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pero paano yung mga videos na na-plano?

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yung mga videos na mahusay ang pagkakasulat?

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yung mga may effort sa ito?

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like sketches, and animations and anything but my content? 
*sure ka 'tol?*

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paano yung mga taong yun?

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sinasabi mo ba sa akin na yung mga videos nila hindi mahalaga ng oras natin?

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Sa tingin ko baliktad dapat. Yung mga videos ng mga taong ito ay mahalaga ng oras

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kasi nirerespeto nila ang oras natin.

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Siguro nilagay nila ito para labanin ang clickbait

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and shit like that para pag pinindot mo yung videos taps malalaman mo na,

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well, hindi niya pala fi-nuck yung cow, aalis ka sa video.

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pero ang ginagawa nito, ay pinapalayo ka sa mga taong nag-spe-spend ng time

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sa bawat minuto ng kanilang video.

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Tingnan natin ito, alright?

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So twi-neet niyo itong video ni Jack.

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Listen, everyone's gonna be like, "YOUTUBE DRAMA! PEWDIEPIE CALLS ANOTHER OUT"

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alright my - everyone sent me this video of my friend Jack 
*awwww*

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Tingnan natin kung ano yung ginawa ni Jack.

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Jack: Okay. Well, I gotta go pee!, I'll be back in a sec!~

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Jack: Sorry!~

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What?

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What?~

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WHAT!?!

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DI-JACK? JACK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?

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*pewds is done with his life everyone!*

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OHMYGOD

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JACK WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *laughs*

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*claps* WELL PLAYED YOU IRISH BASTARD! WELL PLAYED! *laughs*

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Alright listen, wala akong oras, uh-

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YouTube, tumigil ka nga sa pagiging TV. That's like Super Mario trying to be Luigi.

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*pewds does random analogies*

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*pewds does random analogies*

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*pewds does random analogies*

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YouTube. Stop trying to be TV, for fucks sake.

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Actually, wala akong pake. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ginawa ko 'tong video. Hindi na mahalaga.

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Itatapos ko nalang dito. Leave a like if you enjoyed watching.

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Hit subscribe to become a bro today! *DO IT!~*

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and I'll see you bros in another video

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and as always, stay aweso- (PLOT TWIST)

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Akala mo tatapusin ko na yung video doon.

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Fuck You! Kailangan ko 'tong video maging 10 minutes!

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or else it's - I'm not gonna do - it's not gonna do shit

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so I'm gonna go, play Pokémon Go. I'm actually gonna go just take a shit.

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I'm not actually - I'm not going outside I'm just gonna hope that there's some Pokémon

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that will appear even though I'm not moving but it does happen every once in a while

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uh.....I'll be back in like ten minutes - ten minutes! To finish the video!

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so iniwan tayo ni pewds dito,

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sorry kung yung mga ibang sentences hindi ko na-translate,

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feel free kung may gusto kang ayusin or stuff like that.

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uhhh, so iniwan talaga tayo ni gago para maglaro ng Pokémon Go.

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habang tayo ay naghihintay para lang i-release iyon sa Pinas.

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pero hello

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gutom ako bes

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pogi parin ni pewdiepie

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na-notice niyo bang nagiging rant master si poods

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TANGINA GINULAT AKO NUN

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possessed na ang mic ni poods

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MAY TATLONG BIBE AKONG NAKITA

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MAPAYAT

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MATABA

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MGA BIBE

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NGUNIT

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ANG MAY PAKPAK

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SA LIKOD AY IISA

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SIYA ANG LIDER NA NAGSABI NG

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QUACK QUACK QUACK

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hindi na talaga siya bumalik HUHU

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paasa naman

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paalam na mga 'tol

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SLAMMMMMM ITTTT!

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SLAMMMMMM ITTTT!

00:09:58.720 --> 00:09:59.220
SLAMMMMMM ITTTT!

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SLAMMMMMM ITTTT!