Edgar, this is a really tough video for me to make,
Edgar....
This is a really tough video for me to make.
*beep beep beep BEEP*
*TACTICAL NUKE*
So, I'm from Sweden, okay. You know it, not a secret.
What does Swedes have the most of? Not high taxes, shut up! Good internet. GOOD INTERNET.
Even as a poor
swede living man,
100/100 internet was the standard, god damn It. It wasn't something you had to fight for. It was your god-given
right. Sorry, sorry I went too far I'm a christian channel. (You're a christian channel.)
As you know, I don't live in Sweden anymore, for quite some time. And, I know what you're thinking. Oh, UK internet,
that's not so bad. That's not like living in a third-world country, right?
You're wrong. You're wrong. I was a fool. If you don't think it's that bad
let me show you, let me show you my internet right now, okay?
Okay, you want to see this. Do you think this is funny? Just wait until you see my upload.
Oh my god. It's depressing. It's not even moving goddamn it.
Oh, wow!
*slams phone onto table*
(mocking voice) But, Felix why don't you just change your ISP- ?
Shut the hell, shut the hell up. You think I haven't tried
I'm the biggest YouTuber.
I deserve better internet, goddamn it. I'm better than this. Now you may have seen me rant about this in the past.
That's because when me and Marzia first moved into UK,
we lived in this flat. For some reason, in, in UK it takes two to three weeks to get your internet
installed if you switch provider. The BT has to come in, they have to do-
I don't know what they do.
But they got to do what they got to do and they take two or three weeks to get there
and if you miss your appointment
you gotta wait another two to three weeks and so on and so forth. So, what I had to do back in
2014 was that we didn't have any internet so I legit had to put the video on my laptop
and then I would walk out trying to steal neighbor's Wi-Fi that had better internet because
you, you take one road down and someone Waa-we have fiber here?
But, no not here, who knows why. Set out to find neighbors that had unlocked Wi-Fi
so I could upload the goddamn videos. I did this at like 4 a.m.
Sometimes, I would come, I would come back home. I forgot my keys.
I'd have to climb through a window not to wake up Marzia (aww). So, eventually
you know YouTube money came and me and Marzia were like, "ok, enough.' Okay, enough. We're gonna move somewhere where they have amazing
internet, that's impossible because I live in UK, but decent Internet.
And. we did. We did move there. We had great internet and everything was peaceful.
Everything was nice...(but not for long...-__-)
The world was finally in harmony. Then, why am I back here, Felix? Why are you back here with the shit internet?
*Pewds going insane* Just go back there and stop complaining like a son-of-a-bitch.
It's a long story, okay? I'm trying to tell you the story.
Well, I used to have an office when I was working with Disney and they were willing to transfer that lease to me.
But, it was a three-year lease, which would have cost me one hundred and thirteen thousand pounds
and I'm like ah I don't really feel like paying that when I can just stay here for free.
I just need one shitty room that I can record from. I don't need this giant office. It really doesn't make any sense.
(mocking voice) Oh, well if you're so cheap-
Oh, yeah, like you would pay that amount for internet? Would you, you think I should pay that amount for internet?
Is that what you think? Good for you? Okay, not everyone is a MORON!
(mocking voice) Pewds, you should just come to
Portugal, because we have goodish-
*chicka-chicka*
You think I wouldn't go back to Sweden! Sorry, I need to calm down.
Okay. Alright, so I had to pay a hundred and thirteen thousand pounds.
I said no. You know what I'm gonna look into it. Maybe I can get good internet installed in this flat.
Which is my office. And, I can't go back to the other flat because we're renovating that one right now.
I forgot to tell you. All the floors are gone, all the walls are gone.
I can't even, I can't even go back to my original house. We're staying here temporarily. I'm stranded here. (so he's basically homeless)
So, I basically said three months ago. I was like, 'Okay, well
I'll look into it, and then I found you can get a leased line, which is basically used by a lot of companies.
They install a private line, so that you don't have to share internet with anyone else and you get a guaranteed
speed of a 100/100, even a giga. A GIGA. A GIGABYTE. A GIGABYTE INT-NET. Hell yeah! I'll take it!
I'll take it. Thank you very much. I'm tired of living, that, whatever, like that internet. Not anymore! I can afford it.
I'm gonna pay for it, goddamn it. So, I ordered it
three months ago. ( wow :0 )
*sad music*
Where is it? You know who you are. Where is my internet? Where is my
iiiiiiinternet? Where is it?
Where is it? Where's my internet? I ordered three months ago.
You said maximum 47 days. So, what have I been doing in the meanwhile then, these three months? Well
I've rented Airbnb. I rented them for a month. So, I at least have a temporary solution.
I bought this temporary setup, so that I can stream, I can upload, I can send files to my editor.
I can do all these things smoothly and nicely and no one have to worry about it.
But, Airbnb only lets you rent for a month.
There's some legality to it. You have to put your name on the council bill or some shit like that if you go longer.
So, I had to switch Airbnb.
Naturally, before I rent the Airbnb I'm like, 'Okay, so what's the internet in this place?" I look it up.
You know I make sure I asked them,
'Okay, so this is a bit weird for me to ask, but I need really good download, but also upload speed, okay?
And I need you to confirm me these speeds. It's very important.
This is very important.' And, I wouldn't get an answer from this lady. She was like,
(liar voice) ' Oh, it's really good speeds.
We have really good speeds in this place. Come to my little B&B.
We have great internet.' You fucking, lying shnake. You lying shnake.
It's even worse than my internet.
So, I'm stuck with this other place now. Where my temporary setup is set up with god-awful
internet. That I can't use, I can't use it. I can't stream from it. It's too bad.
So, what do I do. Well, it has 4G.
At least I get a 4G reception in that Airbnb. So, I bought like a box with 4G, a 4G modem and uh
they only let you buy for a hundred gigabytes per month. Otherwise,
you can't, you can't use more. And I'm like, 'Can I refill it?' and they're like, 'No.
100 gigabyte, that's what you get.' I'm like, 'I can't just use 100 gigabyte, ok?
That's gonna run out so fast. You don't understand. You don't understand. Do you know who I am?'
I never used that card before, but I just went, 'Do you know who I am? Excuse me, I am
pewdie
And, I need good internet.
I didn't actually say that. But, I have 80, I have 87 gigabytes left, guys.
Just wanted to tell you. That's why I'm making this video.
I even looked into the idea of installing one of those antennas on the roof. It's 15,000 up front, which is fine!
I'll pay it! I'll pay it! But, it's 4 weeks installment
and I'm waiting for the lease line. So, I might as well wait for the lease line, right?
And, I don't want stuck in two contracts.
Oh.
I'm dying guys. I'm dying. That's why I'm making this video. I am dying. If things don't change I am going to die.
(:O omg)
I'm asking for help. I am sending out my echo signals, like a whale asking for help.
Give me internet, before I die. I'm going to- I'm- this is it. Goodbye. I have 80,
86,
I have eighty six gigabytes left.
Before they get me. ( .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. )
Then, it's 10P per megabyte...
The sense morale of this, is that if you have good internet, don't take it for granted
like I did. Take care of it.
Appreciate it. Make sure it knows it is loved, because one day
you may not think it will happen, but it happened to me, goddamn it,
the internet is gonna fade away.
(NOOO WIFI!!! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!!! HOW WILL I LIVE??!!)