DARK SOUL!
Now, the IGN guide says that Deprived is the most powerful class,
I don't believe in handicapping myself
with this bullshit.
"In the Age of....-"
Who gives a shit, it's an RPG, boys.
Story doesn't matter.
It's ALL about the action baby.
Now let's get down to business.
Eww! That's-ew! That's me?!
If I was a rapper, I'd be the rapper "Ratman"
What the fuck is wrong with my guy?
I'm dead even before the game starts.
Oh, that's the first- that's the first enemy.
Oh blah blah blah beh bah bah bah.
Yes.
*bleh bleh regrettably bleh bleh...*
Shut the fuck up! Jesus Christ!
This guy never stops!
-and killed him in one hit.
Uh, the game is too easy, kids.
You're going to need a harder game if you wanna get past Dunk.
That's all I'm saying.
Firelink Shrine
Bleh! What do we have here?
Bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh!
What do we have here?
Whadda we a little BITCH!
Awwww....no
IGN tricked me.
The best class is the...
The Armor... smith.
Uh oh!
Fuck!
He keeps coming after me,
He never stops!
Wut?!
Ah! Dammit! He's still alive.
*laughter* Here we go.
En garde, my liege
HEE... YAH!
HOO!
See ya! You fucking amateur!
Bah!
I guess you can say he's *FIRED*!
Most people don't know how to make this jump,
I am not most people...
(....Guess you can say I'm fired....)
This is the best part of the whole game,
We're just killin' the tables.
-The ROCK.
Is cookin' *laugh* open the door, open the door! *laugh* oh god...
He can't make it out.
He can't even make it out of his own door!
You fucking idiot!
You fucking amateur!
You can't even make it out of your own door.
You asshole!
*laughing*
Oh, man.
This game is not hard!
This game is for little kids. I can fuc-
Look at this,
He can't even make it out it's own-
Taurus Demon is a powerful boss.
Powerful- OH
Fffuck yooou!
[Soul Edge Narrator] The legend will never die.
BWEH! Killed him in one hit.
Business as usual, folks.
I should be the IGN Guide.
-Can't wield it.
Like I -
W-
Two damage?!
Got you now!
Jesus Christ!
I don't wanna see that shit!
Almost there...
Almost got him...
That- Aw...
The Capra Demon
Can be one of the most intimidating bosses in Demon's Souls
Unless you kill him in one hit like I-
How is your...rump roast?
Kee- Wam- Pow! Just butchered that guy
Get it!?
Twitch whatchu doing in jail?!
Summoning phantom...
Game, you've been summoning phantom for about three hours now...
I'm trying to just-
Summon Holy Hecarim,
Summon Barack Obama,
Summon fucking Bill Clinton, Chewbacca!
I don't give a fuck!
You've been summoning phantom since the Phantom Menace came out back in 1926!
On -fucking on the caveman walls!
Fine, fine, I'll do by myself.
I do by my-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'll do by myself
I'll do by myself.
Ram-da-dada-da-da.....Pause the game one second.
Uhh, Time out, let's just apply the Gold Pine Resin to my sword.
And that'll kill the Gaping Dragon in one hit.
And nobody was surprised.
This is how the game was meant to be experienced,
Here we go!
I think there's somebody chasing me.
I have no idea of what's happenin-
A BUTTERFLY?!
What am I? A seven-year-old girl?!
Put on a real man's game,
Like Ghouls 'n' Ghost- now this is- now this is a hard game, okay?
And is a challengin- NOPE! Nope. Demon's Souls!
I'll summon a Co-Op partner for this part.
Get it guys?
What the hell? It worked!
Right this way, partner.
EEEEEW! God.
EEEEEEW, GROSS!
Yuck!
Oh no!
I'll never be able to defeat Molten Man.
Yah!
Unless he just- keeps his hand here
Byah! Wha-
Huh?!
I really did kill that guy in one hit!
Heh, Hih! This broken-ass game!
Nobody mind me, I am just a, baby egg!
Awaiting for my mother to pick m-
(whispering) He's fallen for it, guys!
(laughter)
*laugh* YOU ID- I'M NOT AN EGG AT ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHA
You're a wizard, Dark Souls.
Here I am, where I first fought the first boss,
Ragnarok, and now I have to fight his brother, Stray Dre-
He killed ME in one hit!
"Yer a ringwraith Dark-"
*Unintelligible*
Bunny.
BITCH!
Uh-Oh! Busted.
Oh- (laugh)
*rambling the Indiana Jones theme*
We called the dog India-
(Music that plays when opening a chest in TLOZ)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*gruhn*
GRRRR- FUCK YOU!
Oh- Now I pissed 'im off.
Ha Haaa, come to daddy!
The Covetous Serpent's Ring
Finally,
in my possession.
Whoa...
For ME?!
Oh
Oh, no.
Oh my GAWD!
I can't even get up!
Let me heal- Just let me heal? Ok...
Lemme get up, lemme get up, lemme get up, lemme get up-
You SHIT dog.
The weakness is, you gotta get under the dog.
You just roll under, like this-
COCKSUCKER!
Got'em now, here we go, here we go-
Shtrike the legs!
Aww, he's limping!
Awwwww.
Did somebody hurt you-
Get over 'ere, you LITTLE FUCKER! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT DOG, I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU! WOOOO!