(upbeat music)
- I bench like 225.
- I can do 100 push-ups.
- Ah, I just tweaked my arm.
That's why I can't work out this week.
- Yeah, I rolled my ankle.
And that's why I can't play basketball.
- Oh, I could dunk in high school.
- Yeah, I can do a kickflip.
- Yeah, I prefer beer over sugary drinks.
- My shoe size is like,
14.
- Oh, I've never used a ruler to measure my penis.
- My car is 500 horsepower.
- Yeah, I know what horsepower is.
- Nah,
don't really listen to Drake.
- Nah, I've never heard anything by Justin Bieber.
- I've shot a gun before.
- I've never seen The Notebook.
- Gilmore Girls is coming back?
No idea.
- Dude, Channing Tatum isn't even that hot.
- I know how to start a fire.
- Nah, dude, I'm not looking for a relationship.
- I'm texting so many girls right now.
- No, I don't care my ex just got married.
- I get laid all the time.
- Dude, I hook up all the time.
- No, I don't follow Ayesha Curry on Instagram.
- I'm always the big spoon.
- I hate cuddling.
- I always stand when I pee.
(upbeat music)