Baby... Wedding... Baby...
Trip to Belize... Wedding... Baby...
If you're my age...
You've probably rethought how your life could be.
I've never backpacked Europe or joined the Peace Corps.
Or given up everything to go be one with nature.
(bird squawk)
But then I remembered that peeing the forest is gross. And I should just stay on course.
But I can't even decide which cheap ass carpet freshener I should buy.
Or even if I like the guy I'm with.
Boyfriend: What? Did you call me? Girl: No. Nothing.
Is it wrong that I would rather finish this scarf than go out with my friends tonight?
Remember when life was simple and your biggest decision was a prom dress?
I find myself getting overly nostalgic for high school.
High school sucked.
(baby cries)me even though I know I wanted same name
And even know I want a kid someday... the thought of it kind of terrifies me.
And it kills me because both my parents and sister had a house
and a baby at the age of 25.
(Commercial: The worry of budgets, bills and taxes can take it out on your relationship)
I'm not sure why, but I feel incredibly depressed when watching happy couples do their finances together.
Which is probably why I still send my taxes to my dad.
You wish you could just choose something and stick to it.
And then you right back to where you started
And the moment that you realize that you're twenties aren't turning out as you expected, you start to panic.
But you realize that panicking gets you nowhere.
And life's not a race. compare your path to the top of other people's nonsense
Comparing your path to the path of other people is nonsense.
It's better to take a deep breath and change your expectations.
And have the confidence to reinvent yourself.
(car horn)
I'm just gonna wait here.
(coughs)