- I really didn't have a good reason to join Greek life,
I kinda just stumbled into it.
(light playful melody)
- I had a lot of trouble making friends
my first few months at school.
- Growing up, a did a lot of theater
and I didn't really have a lot of guy friends.
- I didn't come out until my junior year actually.
- So I've been out for a really long time.
- I actually wasn't even out
until after I graduated college.
In college, I wasn't sure.
I had feelings, but thought maybe it was just a phase.
- Yeah, I was hesitant about rushing
because there's a stereotype of fraternity's
being hypermasculine, hyperstraight organizations
and as a freshman in college,
I wanted to explore what it meant to be gay.
- Was I worried that my sexual orientation
would prohibit me from joining,
or would hinder the process?
Yes.
- First day that I rushed, I went to a fraternity
and one of the questions they asked me was,
"If you could have sex with any male cartoon character,
who would it be?"
And I was just like, really?
Is that what you're trying to get to know about me?
- At a certain point I told my pledge educator
that I was gay and he was like, "Oh yeah, we know."
I was like, does everyone know?
and they're like, "Yeah, we know and we don't care."
- I had built a strong foundation with my pledge brothers
and so, to tell them that I was gay
was just sharing them again,
a little bit more about who I was.
What I thought was most surprising,
they were incredible curious
about what it was to be gay.
- Spoiler alert, nothing changed.
The conversation was super easy
and they were really, really accepting,
but I definitely had reservations
that they would feel weird that
all of a sudden, now that I'm gay,
that I'm gonna try and hook up
with every single one of them,
which is such a ridiculous fear
that gets put in your head.
- This guy wanted to bring his boyfriend
to Weekend Away Formal
and some people were uncomfortable with that.
That kinda just rubbed me the wrong way
because it was encouraged for these guys
to find a random girl.
By the time I graduated,
there was a couple guys that would
bring their boyfriends to formals and stuff.
That was cool to see because
it didn't have to be a big deal anymore.
- When I joined my fraternity,
I didn't know that there were other LGBT brothers.
Well, after I became a full fledged brother,
I was connected with gay and bisexual and queer brothers
from other chapters and we stay connected
via social media outlets.
- Being around a bunch of straight guys in a fraternity
kind of gave me the confidence
that they don't think that I'm coming onto them
just because I'm gay.
So that kind of helped me become more
comfortable with my sexuality.
- When you get to the core of who you are,
people are gonna like you, or not like you,
for much more than just your sexuality.
- Once I was a senior and I was out and everything,
I had a couple of them actually come up to me, one on one
and say, "Hey, I'm actually kinda dealing with
"coming to terms with my sexuality right now
"and how have you dealt with coming out?
"Especially in a fraternity?"
That was kinda cool 'cause
I didn't feel like I had that.
- My fraternity brothers are some of my best friends.
I used up most of my vacation days
spending it with them.
- They're the ones who bring up political issues to me
and are outraged about it,
sometimes more than I am about certain LGBT issues.
- It gave me a lot of life lessons.
It gave me really good opportunities to be a leader.
- As an undergrad, you're sort of entering this
life where you're trying to figure out who you are,
where you fit in with a lot of things,
and I think for a lot of LGBT folks,
especially those who start rushing fraternities,
it's a challenging time and so,
I think being comfortable about being gay
is something that you have to discover
and figure out on your own.
- At the end of the day,
definitely look out for yourself and protect yourself,
and there are probably some organizations
that are more accepting.
I wouldn't have so many of the friends that I have
and I wouldn't have had so many experiences that I had,
had I not joined a Greek organization.
And if I had let fear of my sexuality stop me,
I would be such a different person.
(light playful conclusion)