(gasping sounds)
(logo whooshes)
(hinge squeaks)
- Larry's from New York, and I'm from Los Angeles.
So--
- I'm from Brooklyn.
- I'm from the Valley.
- He likes to think that I'm
some kind of anti-social psycho.
- You're wanted by the KGB, the FBI, the CIA, Walmart.
- When he's really happy, he--
- Like right now.
- Dances, and does sounds.
- Because we can.
- Yeah, why not? It's good.
I read this thing online,
apparently Green Tea is very healthy.
- Hey, check this steel, man.
- Oh, thank you my friend, thank you my friend, you know?
- Green tea, black tea, and white tea
are actually all from the same plant.
- He'll just like talk really low.
(gasping sounds)
- She sounds like this when I get her on the phone.
- Is he imitating my vocal fry,
just like the usual commenters?
- How's your day going?
Well that's good.
- That's funny, dad.
- Hold on, hold on. She's always, hold on, hold on.
- I'm busy!
- How's it going?
Wanna come over for dinner later?
- I don't drive like that!
- Oh! Shit! Damn it, you know?
- Turn around, wait wait wait wait wait!
- What are you gonna do?
Come on, it's okay.
You can do it.
- Come on over here in the Pontiac,
come on, what are you a fuckin' moron?
- Look, no hands!
And then he'd drive with his knees.
- Come on! Come on!
And then like some old lady's trying to cross
the street he's like aw, great!
- I wonder why that person is so upset.
It's just not worth it to get your blood pressure up.
- Talk to the hand!
Talk to the hand!
Okay what the fuck is this, talk to the hand?
(babbling)
- No I can't talk to you right now, leave me alone,
leave me alone, leave me alone, okay, close the door.
(laughs)
(sighs)
(laughs)
- And that's it.
- I raised you fuckin' better than that.
I didn't raise you and your sisters so I could
put up with this kind of bullshit.
- I'm a little disappointed.
(laughs)
- We really need to talk about this right now.
You need to tell me exactly,
exactly what happened.
- Hey, guess what just happened?
- Dad, dad!
- Hey, mommy, look look!
- Hee hee, shut up.
- Check this steel!
- Oh!
(claps)
- Yeah okay when people do that.
(laughs)
- That is not how I dance.
- Kinda light and airy,
taking it all in you know?
Hi!
- And you look.
Now can you unblock?
- He's got like a major white man's underbite
thing happening.
- I think it's sexy, don't you think it's sexy?
- You're my dad, dad.
- Oh.
- He goes like this, he really likes doing
funny things with his legs.
And then like with his arms.
- You do like this.
- Hey!
(babbling)
- As a parent you kind of have
these vignettes of memories over time.
- We're so much alike in so many ways.
It's like I'm gonna just do me,
you know, with a different voice.
- You know you're a certain way,
but when you hear somebody else telling you
that you're that way,
sometimes it's a little bit like huh, yeah I am that way.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
(upbeat music)
- See? You little shit, you learned.