- I hope I'll just be going and everyone will be like damn,
what happened to her?
And I'll be like, I've been Gwyneth-ed.
(ticking)
So the actress Gwyneth Paltrow has a lifestyle website
called goop.
- That suggests, usually very expensive things to do,
to make your life better.
So basically, I've created a day
based off of Gwyneth Paltrow's blogs
and interviews and recipe books.
How I think she lives her day.
And I'm going to try to emulate that.
So I'm leaving you today as Chelsea,
but tomorrow I'm gonna be Gwyneth.
It's gonna be great.
I'm about to get on the train to go to the exercise class
that Gwyneth Paltrow does.
Just got out of the class.
It felt a little cult-ish.
No one said anything and everyone just knew what to do.
It was weird.
I had a good time.
I'm very tired.
In the morning, Gwnyeth gives her children
a little spoonful of flaxseed oil.
I'm giving my dog-child a little bit of coconut oil.
I'm about to make Gwyneth's smoothie.
I have chosen Action Dust.
I'm sitting on the floor so I can lay out my makeup
and chant over it to put positive energy in it.
Because that is something that is advised
by goop and Gwyneth.
Hm.
My dog's in the back.
Bye.
(lively trumpets and drums)
I'm gonna tend to my dog-child then I'm gonna come back,
read some emails, do some work,
cook myself some lunch
and then go to my cupping appointment.
(relaxation music)
Hopefully it won't hurt.
Just got done cupping.
I have intense bruising.
I've been up since six am,
I am not a morning person.
But I have so much energy,
I don't know if it's the matcha powder in that smoothie,
maybe it's the cupping.
I'm a little tired
and I still have to work out for one more hour,
make dinner, drink a martini
and take a bath.
Got a cigarette, even though I don't smoke.
Got my drink,
I'm in my bath wearing a face mask that's tingling
and I'm exhausted.
I kinda can't wait to just be myself again.
So basically I did a bunch of glamorous things,
expensive things, all day.
And I don't feel any more glamorous.
I think that the whole idea of these glamorous lifestyles
and blogging about it,
is that you don't see the other aspect of everyone's life.
Like getting to those appointments,
smelling the garbage on the street while you're going there,
and all of those other things.
And so it's not a good idea to hold yourself
up to those standards.
(frustrated noise)
But I do like cupping.
I don't know if I'll do it again,
but it was cool.
Gwyneth keep doing you,
I'm gonna keep doing me.
That's cause that's all we can do.
(laughing)
(squeaky noise)