- That was expensive.
(laughing)
- I'm inviting you in saying it's for wine,
but I really mean sex.
- I don't know where to stand.
(pounding music)
I wanna go to your bedroom.
(gasping)
I don't know the way around your house.
(panting)
- I'm gonna make sure my vagina doesn't smell like cheese.
(sighs)
Oh, fuck.
- I'm gonna have sex.
- I did that on purpose.
- I'm gonna have sex.
I'm gonna have sex.
- I don't want you to see my flaws,
but I do want you to see in general.
I learned this move that makes you sexy, yet vulnerable.
- My breath still smells like brussel sprouts.
- I'm taking your clothes off slowly
just in case your junk looks really weird,
and I need to control my facial expressions.
- I'm taking your clothes off too,
so we go at the same procedural rate.
This is a nice shirt, don't rip it.
I'm touching your boobs so that you'll touch my wiener.
- Asking about a condom,
but it's actually just a formality,
I'm gonna get one from my nightstand.
- I'm gonna try not to stare at your naked body,
but I'm not making any promises.
- I hope he didn't just see my butt hole.
- What if she's the last person I ever have sex with?
- I hope this goes as good as I want it to.
- [In unison] Whatever.
(nervous laugh)
- This condom is gonna take awhile to put on.
Okay.
(moaning)
Make happy noises to validate me.
- Does this sound real?
- Overthinking my sexy voice.
- Oh god, I want you to do this harder,
but I don't want you to think you're hurting me.
- I'm so thirsty.
- Stop, that makes me have to fart.
- I have stuff on my ass.
- I am not almost there, I am not almost there.
- I'm thinking about my grandma so I don't cum.
- I'm not even close.
(loud moaning)
- That sounds nice.
(sighing)
- I kinda want to cuddle.
- I kinda want to cuddle too,
but if I don't pee, I'm gonna get another UTI.
- Where's my phone?