- (laughing) I'm judging the shit out of you
and your tattoo choice.
(rock music)
- How many tattoos I have,
is equal to how many annoying questions
you're gonna ask me this session.
- Will it hurt?
What hurts is you missed the 10 signs
at the front of the studio
demanding that you don't ask me that question.
- I definitely didn't spell check this
before I started tattooing.
Oops-a-daisy.
- Do a good job. Go (bleep) yourself.
- Yep. Three years of art school
just to tattoo countless southern crosses
on pasty white guys' biceps.
- Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to your intricate outline.
- Are you sure you're not drunk?
I kinda wish you were,
cause that tattoo design is really bad.
- A tattoo of a woman crying?
What a great idea!
It's men like you that make this all worthwhile.
- Aww, it's your first tattoo.
Remind me again why I should care.
- How long will it take?
Well, that depends.
Do you want this tattoo of your daughter
to look like a smiley face,
or are you gonna let me do my job?
You're call, buddy.
- Another drunk guy's bare ass cheek?
Is it my birthday?
Oh, did mine hurt?
No, tattooists are a superior alien life form,
completely immune to thousands of needles
piercing through the skin.
Now it's your turn.
- [Voiceover] You think it's too expensive?
I think my time is too.
See ya!