- I'm Katie and it took me 19 years
to figure out that I had Lyme disease.
(slow music)
I'd always had health issues
my whole life from when I was young.
Sinus problems, poor immune system.
It was my freshman year of college.
I kept getting pneumonia every week or two
and then all of a sudden,
it was like 20 hours a day of sleep
or I couldn't get up to move.
I felt so out of control.
I stopped going to my classes
because when I was at my classes,
I couldn't really process the information.
I wasn't hearing the questions.
I wasn't able to keep up with the reading.
There was just something missing.
There was no specific note that the doctor
at Washington and Lee could give me
because she didn't know what was wrong either.
I had to go through at least 15 doctors.
It started with pneumonia, walking pneumonia,
chronic walking pneumonia, Epstein-Barr virus,
mono, fibromyalgia, POTS, chronic fatigue syndrome,
generalized anxiety disorder, and depression.
(slow piano music)
I didn't know what it could be, so then having someone say,
"You need to see a psychiatrist,"
it was half fuck you, no,
but also, okay, this man has eight degrees on his wall.
I certainly doubted in moments
that I was making everything I was experiencing up.
They made me feel like I wanted attention.
I thought I was going to die.
The suicidal thoughts crept in.
I really think that what kept me going
was wanting to see where the mystery went.
I wanted the answer and I kinda never lost sight
that I would receive that eventually
and that I would prove somebody wrong.
I'm stubborn, I'm real stubborn.
It wasn't officially until a sports masseuse
who was working on my body
and hearing all of my trials and tribulations said,
"Have you looked into this?
"I hear it's very hard to diagnose
"and you have to be very firm with doctors
"in order to get them to test for it."
I was like, okay, here we go and I went
and I found any doctor that would take it seriously,
one of whom diagnosed me and the other of whom treated me
and my doctor who was taking this very seriously
held my hand for the first time
since I had gotten sick and said,
"This is not easy and this is not straight forward,
"but I'm gonna try really hard
"and we're gonna figure this out for you."
That moment of this is what you have.
You have a name, you can write this down on your paperwork.
You can tell this to loved ones.
We have a path and maybe it's not super clear
and we're gonna have to switch
around your medications a lot, but you have this thing
and you have not been crazy this whole time.
(sighs)
It was a stunning moment.
It gave me the fuel that I needed to go forward
with treatment for over a year with intensity.
I would be throwing up so much,
have no appetite, and look like complete shit
and I would just smile so much
because I knew that the medication
that was making me sick was doing something
and that's why I was getting sick
and it was this whole process in my brain, like a challenge,
like I was fighting these bugs that were in my body.
Having a goal versus just going down and down
and thinking that you're crazy, they're incomparable
and it gets easier the further
I get away from my former self
because letting go of her has been very difficult.
Hearing from doctors and hearing from loved ones
is always reassuring and getting an answer
or getting support is what we all want,
but no one will ever, ever, ever know
what's going on inside of your body
or going on inside of your brain unless you tell them
and in order to tell them confidently,
you have to have been listening to yourself.
Anything that seems abnormal to you,
listen to it and remind yourself
that you are worth paying attention to yourself
and if you don't understand
and believe yourself, no one else will.
(slow music)