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- [Voiceover] So my daughter just told me
she uses my toothbrush to brush the dog's teeth.
How's your day going?
- [Voiceover] The kids walked in on me and my wife
wrestling again.
My son said, "Mommy should stop
'cause it always sounds like she's losing."
- [Voiceover] My four-year-old just told me,
"It's okay, I love you, so I might not put you
in the washing machine tonight."
- [Voiceover] My son just said I have a comforting forehead.
Weirdest compliment ever.
- [Voiceover] Turned 26 today.
My son told me I'm old like a tree and gonna die soon.
- [Voiceover] My five-year-old just asked my three-year-old
to step into her office.
She concluded the conversation with,
"And remember, my door is always open."
- [Voiceover] I went to see a mortgage advisor with my
seven-year-old son, and when we sat down
across from his desk, my son said, "I'm not her husband."
- [Voiceover] My son said, "Mommy,
you are a terrible cook,
but I eat your food because I love you,
and I don't want to hurt your feelings.
But, I don't want to die either."
- [Voiceover] My young son just told me he wants to be a
hooker when he's older.
He meant fisherman.
- [Voiceover] My daughter told me the moon was a stalker,
and I asked why.
She said, "Because it's always following me."
- [Voiceover] My son ran out of my bedroom waving my blue
vibrator in the air, yelling, "Look at my new lightsaber!"
Why do these things happen when the neighbors are over?
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