WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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(upbeat guitar music)

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- Hi, I'm Hannah, your
friendly neighborhood wine mom

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and if you're anything
like me, you believe

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that a glass of wine at eight
PM makes you a better mom.

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So pour yourself a glass and let's talk.

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Tonight, we're drinking rose,

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because I'm always drinking rose.

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What else am I gonna drink?

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Rose all day.

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A topic that runs rampant in the comments

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of all of these videos is discipline.

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How do I discipline kids?

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How do I deal with difficult children?

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So tonight's topic, the
best way to discipline kids.

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And I know because I am a certified mom.

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I have been certified by the
board of certifiers of moms.

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First, context.

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Whenever I'm about to punish my children,

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I have to make the decision,

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are they misbehaving or are
they just acting their age?

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My oldest son is four.

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He likes to do stuff himself.

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He likes to get his own glasses of water.

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That's his new thing.

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So he gets on his little step stool

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and gets water out of the
filtered spout next to our sink,

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but he always fills his water cup

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up to the very top of the brim,

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and then he spills it everywhere

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so there's puddles of
water all over the house

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whenever he tries to get his own water.

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But I'm not gonna punish him for that

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because he's four and that's normal.

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On the other hand, if he
thinks I'm not looking,

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he'll give his younger
brother a big shove.

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Kids need to learn that we see everything,

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so I know that that's
happening and I see it,

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and he will get in trouble for that

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because spilling water, just being a kid.

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Pushing your brother, just being a jerk.

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Sounds like bumping music outside.

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What?

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There are like a bunch of
crazy teens in my neighborhood.

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That's normal.

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They're gonna blast their
music to a douche-y level.

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Next, what?

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I never use the one two three method.

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I've done it several times,

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and I'll get all the way to three

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but I realize that I
haven't thought it out

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to even figure out what's gonna
happen when I get to three,

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so when I do, it's just like, okay.

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It totally loses its effectiveness

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if there's no follow through
on what's gonna happen

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so instead, I bought this shirt

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and it had this phrase on it that I read

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and was just like, this
really speaks to me,

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and it says, "I say what,
not because I didn't hear you

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"but because I'm giving you a chance

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"to change what you just said."

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It's in very small letters.

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And so I say that to every
crappy thing my kid says.

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He'll be like, you're the meanest mom ever

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when I don't give him three
cookies instead of two,

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and I'll turn around and be like, "What?"

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And he's like, oh, I'm just kidding.

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These two cookies are great.

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It gives them a chance
to correct themselves

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before they get punished, which
I think is very important.

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My hand is making it warm.

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I have to hold onto the stem.

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I've seen that in the comments.

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People are like, hold the stem
and the wine won't get warm.

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Thank you.

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Next, lead by example.

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I always try to act in the way

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that I expect my children to act.

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I want them to use manners,
so I always use manners

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when I'm interacting with them.

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If I ask them to do
something, I'll say please.

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If they do it, I say thank you.

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I see a lot of parents who don't do that

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and they just kind of
bark orders at their kids

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and expect them to use
manners and be polite,

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and I don't think that's right.

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If I'm talking to my
husband, I'll say, hi,

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how was your day, how are
you doing, what's going on?

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And so when I come home from
work and I see my four year old

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the first thing he asks me
is, how was your day, mom?

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And it's just the most heartwarming thing.

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Can you believe a four
year old is asking me

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and cares enough, but
it's because he sees it

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in the way that his parents
behave with other people.

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If on top of that, he came
up to me with a glass of wine

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and said, hey, mom, how was your day?

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That would just be...

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I'm just kidding.

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I'm not gonna teach my
kid to pour wine for me.

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Next, offer choices.

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I'll offer him choices of
two things he doesn't like,

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and therefore, he will
feel like he's in control

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but still ends up doing both
things that he doesn't like.

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Do you wanna brush your
teeth first or take a bath?

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Do you wanna eat this carrot
first or this broccoli first?

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He gets to pick.

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You pick whatever piece of crap you want.

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This is some low key
manipulation that I like to do,

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and I'm pretty sure that this is a tactic

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they use in the FBI or something like that

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when they're interrogating people,

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but it works just as well for kids.

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And sometimes, there
are the rare instances

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when the child will say
something like, neither.

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I don't wanna do either one.

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I don't wanna take a bath, I
don't wanna brush my teeth.

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I don't wanna eat carrots,
I don't wanna eat broccoli.

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And that's when you pull out the what.

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It all fits together in this
intricate web of discipline.

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No burps this episode.

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Next, go easy on yourself.

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Yeah, I want my kids to
be disciplined properly,

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but in a situation where
I'm about to lose my shit,

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I gotta give up, I gotta
throw in the towel,

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raise the white flag, whatever.

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As a parent, you're not
gonna win every battle

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and that's fine.

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Nobody's perfect, no kid is
perfect, no parent is perfect.

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No discipline is perfect,

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which leads us to our very
final and ultimate rule

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when it comes to disciplining kids.

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Don't take unsolicited advice
from complete strangers.

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There's so many parents who
are willing to just like

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bark their discipline tactics as truth,

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and that's not true because
each child is different.

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Every parent is different.

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Every relationship is different.

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Everything is different
as far as what works,

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and if you're about to share
this video with the caption,

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"Oh, she doesn't know
anything about discipline,

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"this doesn't work,"

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jokes on you because I really don't.

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What do I know?

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I don't know your kids.

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I don't know you, I don't know anything.

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This is the discipline
method that works for me.

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It might not work for you.

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It might work for somebody else.

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Bottom line with discipline,

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if what you have is
working, keep doing it,

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unless you're spanking your kids

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because that shit is really weird.

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Just save that for the bedroom.

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I'm sorry, y'all, but
I really do love you.

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So that's all I've got for today.

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I'm Hannah, your friendly
neighborhood wine mom

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and if there's a method of discipline

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that particularly works for you,

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whether you're a babysitter
or a nanny or a parent

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or whatever you are,
leave it in the comments.

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But be nice, 'cause if you're not nice,

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we can't be best friends.

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See what I did there with
my discipline method?

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If you do this, then you
can't have this, right?

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So I'm probably going
to finish this little

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what's left of rose,

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and go have a dance party with my husband

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because that's what cool parents do.

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Till next time.

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It's easier without a glass.

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I don't like washing wine glasses.