- Goin' on an adventure today.
I'm gonna let Twitter make all my decisions for me.
I'm gonna send out a question.
They're gonna send out responses.
I'm gonna pick the two best.
Then I'm gonna have people vote,
and then I'm gonna do the thing.
That's what's gonna happen.
(upbeat music)
I woke up in the morning like any old boy would.
And I'm like, "I gotta have breakfast today.
"But why don't I let Twitter decide
"what I eat for breakfast."
I think they're gonna choose pancakes and bacon,
but maybe they'll choose a healthy option for me
so I can stay skinny.
They chose pancakes and bacon over avocado toast.
Before I left the house, I had one more quick question.
"Should I make the bed or nah?"
They're like, "Don't."
Yeah, whatever.
On my way to House of Pies.
House of Pies, House of Pies.
Came in and no one spoke to me.
I got my pancakes and bacon.
I don't really like pancakes.
Last bite.
Clean plate club.
And I felt terrible.
(burp)
Oh, bacon and pancakes.
(instrumental music)
Stairs.
Most of the internet either wanted me
to fuck with Ned or they wanted me
to go up and hug people, kiss people.
So, I sent out a poll.
They chose, "Fuck with Ned."
Poor Ned.
I took Ned's keyboard and mouse.
Ned, you lookin', you lookin' for your mouse and keyboard?
- Yeah.
(laughing)
Twitter wants me to get a makeover
instead of wearing my clothes backwards.
I woulda chose "Clothes backwards."
Colin, at the same time, is producing a video
called, "Canned Food Roulette."
Look at those cans.
Condensed milk.
That is the worst thing I could get.
I'm lactose intolerant,
and that's just triple milk.
This dairy on top of the bacon and pancakes
is starting to make a set of mistakes
that will come into play later.
(burping)
Now I'm gonna go get a makeover.
So would using that foundation
make it look like I'm trying to be a different race.
- Maybe a little Latino, yeah.
- Let's skip that.
- Okay.
- She's a very nice Latina girl,
and she gives me very nice Latina girl makeup.
The same makeup on two different faces.
We look exactly the same.
Realizing my beauty, I've gotta take this out to the public.
Lookin' so fresh, so fine.
'Bout to go narrate some people
as they live their every day life.
We can go out this door, right?
- [Voiceover] Yeah.
- Great.
She walked out, barely noticing him.
Earbuds in.
Sipping her coffee.
Didn't cause a stir in her that he looked so beautiful.
Most people completely ignored me.
You know, either they heard me
and decided not to approach
the man in crazy looking makeup,
or they just didn't hear me,
until a very nice lady, who actually was also Latina.
So maybe that is way.
She strode confidently down Sunset Boulevard,
stopping for a second, backing up.
What's going on?
Walking a little bit more enthusiastically.
She continued through, waved at a stranger,
continued on, hands on hip, couldn't stop her.
It's her Wednesday.
Hey, what are you doing right now?
I'm doing a thing today where I let
Twitter control everything that I do.
- Oh hey.
- Well you're going to Sugarfish.
- Yeah.
- Should I ask Twitter if I go with you?
- Do you wanna come with us?
- Yeah.
Look at us, look at us. - [Marissa] Hi, Hollywood.
This is what it's like.
- I have a delightful sushi lunch with her and her friend.
However, raw fish on top of the dairy
and pancakes and bacon,
my stomach is torn apart.
I'm farting.
(soft music)
Zach gets in on the fun.
- I decided to enter the party.
I don't know if it's against the rules but.
- Boy, you've got a lot of tension.
- Yeah I know I do.
- You're such a small guy.
You know what, I don't feel bad about it,
cause Zach really needed to work out
some knots in his back.
- Ah, oh, right there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not getting, oh.
- He's a wound up little boy.
I'm on my way to get some rotisserie chicken.
Which I normally would be thrilled about,
except that I'm still wearing this god damn makeup
cause Twitter won't let me take it off.
You did this to me Twitter.
I will say though, you guys made the right call.
Look at that.
Oh, look at that baby.
So, as I leave the Middle Eastern restaurant,
in my stomach I have, half a chicken,
raw fish, condensed milk, and pancakes and bacon.
Everything decides it's time to leave.
This is bad, everybody.
I gotta poop really bad and I'm driving.
Almost there.
I gotta stop filming.
I gotta text Alex that I have to poop.
I get there in time.
Thank God.
I poop the kinda poop that you don't want to talk about.
And then I get ready to lay down some sick rap tracks.
Yeah, Yessica's here.
She about to lay down some sweet lyrics.
Twitter decided.
And also, I still got the makeup.
♫ Cats, kittens, and piggies
♫ Bulldogs and look
♫ Cats, kittens, and piggies
It's a really cool song I'm writing.
You'll see it soon.
I'm almost done with my day.
I'm like, "Alright, it's time to head home."
I ask again, however, if I can take off my makeup.
They're like, "Nah."
Almost home.
I get home and Becky's upset.
What were you just mad at me about?
- [Voiceover] Because I had to make the bed.
- Cause you had to make the bed?
- [Voiceover] When I got home.
- It wasn't my fault.
It was Twitter's fault.
I think that she's gonna be like,
"Keith, get that makeup off of you."
However.
(instrumental music)
Moral of the story, and I don't know if there is one.
I found out that I have a lot of lady Twitter followers,
and they love the idea of keeping me in makeup forever.
Should you let Twitter run your day all the time?
Probably not.
Will you have the opportunity to
discover new things and became a Latina lady?
Probably.
(instrumental music)
That's it.
(instrumental music)