(solemn music)
- [Voiceover] Dear Mom,
these are the flowers I would have bought you
and this is the card I would have written you.
I've spent most of my life trying to fill in the blanks.
Asking everyone around me about you.
The memories of you tucked away in a box in the attic.
I don't remember what your perfume smelled like,
or what made you laugh,
but I'll never forget lying in your hospital bed
drawing pictures with you.
Your rebellious little six year old.
I'm writing this because I wanna tell you
that you were so strong.
That I wish you didn't have to look at your daughter
knowing that you'd never see her get taller,
get heartbroken, get married.
I'm sorry that I always made you pick me up
when you were so weak.
That I tripped over your IV pole.
The Christmas I complained that I didn't get what I wanted.
Being afraid of your wig.
I'm sorry for the fits I threw,
the I love you moms I never got to say.
And I'm sorry that it's taken me 21 years
to write this card, and it's still not perfect.
I'm writing this because I'd give anything
just to be able to fight with you.
I never got to ignore your phone calls
because you were too overbearing.
I never got to introduce you to girlfriends
or boyfriends you say are bad for me,
and I tell you that you don't understand,
but months later I realize that you were right.
I'm writing this because I'm angry
that I have to live life only part way.
All the yearbook pictures I took
without you to do my hair,
the lunches I made myself.
I feel like I'm missing out on a huge part of being a woman
because you're not here.
Like a part of me is in that coffin with you,
holding onto your leg,
while I scoot across the floor begging you not to go.
You were so beautiful.
It's insane to believe that anyone
as beautiful as you ever existed on this earth.
I'm writing this because I wish you were here,
I wish you could see the woman that I've grown into.
I wish I knew which flowers you liked
and that I could put them in your hands,
rather than on a plot of grass with your name on it.
I'm writing this because I wanna say thank you.
No matter how sick you were all you wanted to do
was make sure I felt loved.
Thank you for taking me to Disney World
when you were in a wheelchair,
letting me draw those pictures in your hospital bed,
writing me letters like you knew
I'd grow up to be who I am.
Making me feel like I was so special and so smart.
I feel like I'll always be that six year old
with a mind of her own,
that didn't take orders and doesn't wear dresses.
That's still waiting for her mom to wake up
and tell her that everything is okay again.
I'm writing this because I'll never love anyone
as much as I miss you.
Happy Mother's Day.