- The compliments from people, kind of praising me for
losing weight that I didn't need to lose,
it really did, like,
help kick start a full on eating disorder.
- You know, your aunts or uncles,
or your parents, whatever,
might say something to you thinking that it's
just an observation.
- I know that people mean well when they say,
especially like, you look good,
have you lost weight?
- You would think that, like,
getting compliments about your weight,
and how you look is always gonna be, like,
a positive thing, if it's like, a positive comment.
- When I was 15 years old,
I was put on this medication,
and a side effect was weight loss,
and this girl came up to me,
she's like, "Oh my God, Mandy,
"I want your hip bones."
Over, like, a year and a half,
I lost, like, 20 more pounds.
The compliments kind of stopped at some point,
because it really became obvious that it wasn't
good anymore.
- In college, I went through a really tough time where I
was starving myself essentially.
People were reinforcing it by saying, like,
"Oh, you look like, so great!"
like, "you look so fit."
I was not fit, I was not fit mentally,
and I was not fit physically.
- I lost a lot of weight,
like I went from maybe, like a 12, 10,
to a 6, 4, and I came back after the summer,
before I even said hello to people, everyone was like,
"Oh my God! You look so great!
"You look amazing!"
I didn't really know how to feel because I didn't lose the
weight on purpose,
and I didn't lose it in a healthy way,
like, I was just really sad and depressed that whole
school year.
- I lost a ton of weight after a really bad breakup,
and I remember going out for the first time,
in like a month, and my friends looking at me,
and being like, "Oh, you look so good!
"You lost so much weight!"
I had, like, conflicted feelings.
I was, like, yeah, I'm thin,
and now I can, like, go out,
and get a better guy,
but at the same time, I was, like,
well, I'm thin because I've been lying on my bed for
the past month and a half.
- After I gave birth, people were already mentioning that,
"Hey, you look great!"
And, hey, "you're already losing the baby weight."
A lot of women are posting their progress throughout
the pregnancy, and then their progress post-pregnancy,
so there's a lot of pressure to be able to keep
up with that.
- I, like, created this pressure,
and this fear of, what happens if I don't keep it up,
if I don't maintain it.
- I think in general, we have to take a little bit more
of an emphasis away from the number.
- Complimenting somebody's weight,
I don't think is the best compliment you can give, period.
- I feel like, not all weight loss is intentional.
- Just tell them, like,
hey, you're looking great today,
even if it's just saying, like,
hey, cool shirt.
You don't need to make it about weight.
- I like that when people said,
oh, like, your chest is out,
like, I don't know,
like, something that, noticed my new found confidence.
- If I'm happy with myself, then it's all good.
(upbeat music)